How do I tell her?

[Ga-girl]

So h9w do I tell my financially unstable, unorganized, stressed, relationship problem having coworker that it probably not the best idea to have a baby right now?

I have a coworker who is very open about what happens in her life. She just got off BC and is trying to have a baby. BUT. Her relationship with her husband is failing. Her mom is in stage 3 renal failure and she's planning on moving closer to her after her lease is up in 3 months. They had to push rent last month. She doesn't have health insurance so she wants to get government assistance.

Personally, I don't think it's a good idea.. but I don't want to come across as an asshole since it seems like common sense not to bring a kid into that situation. But then again she doesn't show much common sense in general...

[Anonymous]

It's not your place to really say anything to her. She may very well know the timing isn't the best but if someone is determined to have a baby they likely won't listen to you. I know this first hand because I spoke up and told someone myself they weren't ready to be a mum because they were on welfare and werent quite financially stable, they were one of the laziest people I had ever met. This person didn't want to work all she wanted to do was sit down on the job and she would cry when the boss would pull her up for sitting down. She would bully her younger sister and make fun of her Weight while also embarrassing her even younger sister. She would yell at her mum for her mum walking too fast when her mum was walking at normal pace. She couldn't even take care of any of the pets in her care. I told her she wasn't mentally ready or even ready in general to be a mum and months went by I found out she did fall pregnant. I won't reveal the details of what happened after she fell pregnant but it was really upsetting.

[Ga-girl]

So I shouldn't even try to bring it up? It's hard to watch a train wreck happen in front of your face. Like in your friends experience, the outcome was upsetting.

I think this is called the bystander effect

[Opinion Owner]

You can try but chances are she isn't going to listen to you, she might even go off at you as she might see it as none of your business. She could be seeing a baby as a way of keeping her husband around if he has plans to leave. You can try but it sounds like she is determined to have a baby regardless

[Ga-girl]

I know this is extreme but I can compare this to a suicide situation. You would never know unless you tried. But I appreciate your opinion

[Opinion Owner]

True you can but just tread lightly If you do decide to say something. Like approach it in a caring way not in a way where she will see you as the bad guy trying to control what she does with her life.

[Guy13]

What about a soft and gentle tone? She probably does not recognize that she is trying to draw near to something as she perceives Mother exiting life soon. I think that's normal when a man is there and to get near Mom to get the best of remaining Time. She is suffering a "death" and can't have a boyfriend/husband death as well... My guess !!

[jengeorge26]

Wait, don’t say anything about it yet

[Ga-girl]

Yet?

[jengeorge26]

I dk

[Wise4myage]

Give her your opinion and be done with it.