Is this over before it began?

[Anonymous]

I'd been talking to a girl for about a year and finally I tell her I want to make it official. I've got feelings for her and I want to be a couple. She hesitates, but after a little while of explaining why she was afraid of commitment, she tells me that she was having feelings for me too and did want to be in a relationship.

Two days later, she gets a call that she needs to come home to help her family who are having financial problems. Now, she is barely scraping by herself, and she doesn't really want to go because her mom was abusive in her childhood. But it's her family. She feels like she has to. So she gets a flight set up for next month, one-way. She's going to be there for months helping out.

Ever since she got that news, we've barely talked. And when we do, all affection is gone. It's just kind of casual friendly chatting for a few minutes. We hung out once for a couple of hours. It's been about two weeks. The last couple of days, I haven't even gotten so much as a text from her.

I understand she's going through some stuff and I've offered to be there, I've offered to help how I can, but it almost seems like she's avoiding me now... Should I just wait this out or did fate just have different plans for us? She's got more important things going on than a relationship. That isn't lost on me. But it's also not a great feeling to be vulnerable, tell someone you love them, and then have that person basically disappear on you pretty much immediately afterward... Am I being selfish and childish? Or would it bother you too?

[Nikki1989]

She's facing a huge emotional and practical burden. Helping her family is likely incredibly stressful, especially given her history with her mother. It's possible she's withdrawn to protect herself emotionally, or because she's simply overwhelmed and doesn't have the bandwidth for much else. It's also possible she's trying to protect you from the stress and uncertainty of her situation.

[RealMarek]

Man, that sucks. She’s clearly distancing herself from you, which is all you need to know. Life is going to throw difficulties with you and whatever woman you are with, so its really important to find someone who will work through the difficult times together with you as a team. Maybe it was too soon in her opinion for your relationship to work that way.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating your emotions and the situation can be quite a dance, can't it? It’s not selfish to feel this way. It feels like an unwanted tango with ghosting. She's in a tough spot, juggling family dilemmas and the heart-tugging complexities of past abuse. It might feel like fate's tossing in some spicy detours, but it doesn't mean it's completely over. Her pulling away isn't a reflection of you but her own inner turmoil. Keep those lines open, but also look out for numero uno—you deserve love that can stand the storm. 💔🕺✨

[In_Trance]

You had no chance