Why do people stay married if they dislike their spouse?

Question

I know this girl who currently is still married but unhappy. She stay speaking about her dislike for him. They have kids together as well. Their marriage is complete gone and dead. She still stay in the house they share because he’s paying the bills plus car note. Her husband is the military and away on his assigned duties. She throws parties and has gatherings with just her family members. She don’t talk to me anymore as well. This includes his oldest daughter. She speaks about how much she don’t like him and don’t care for him. She stays because of the kids and to keep the family together. She keeps saying she gonna file for divorce but never do. As long as he paying bills and car notes, she wanna stay. She tells me she regrets getting married

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

It’s because she is a user and only cares about herself , sadly this sort of thing happens in a lot of relationships and marriages. Why people shouldn’t rush into relationships with anyone until they really get to know someone and see the big picture before committing to that person 100 percent . I can’t tell you how many times I have hooked up with married women and girls’ that were already in relationships that lied to me and said they were single , when really they weren’t. To find out the truth that she wasn’t happy in her relationship and she stayed because of financial reasons or kids’ or she didn’t want to hurt her partners’ feelings so instead she spreads her legs to someone else behind his back. I know there are guys’ that do this as well but I don’t date guys’ but overall. They are users, that do not know how to love anyone but themselves, or they ended up with someone that they truly didn’t love to begin with , and just thought it was the right thing to do cuz it was convenient for them . So they end up staying because it’s convenient for them , to use their partner. It’s a sad world we live in and it just goes to show how selfish people can be. Love will never grow between 2 people if selfishness is involved. Selfishness is one of the biggest relationship killers and sadly pretty much every single one of us has selfishness inside of ourselves. If you can’t remove selfishness for someone , then do not get into a relationship with them period. You are only setting yourself up for disaster and them as well , if that’s the case. Why I no longer rush into relationships with girls’ until her and I really get to know each other and both see the big picture and eye to eye on things before even considering a relationship together. I prefer FWB’s with some strings attached before giving my heart completely to a girl , because I am over getting my heart shit on by selfish girls’ that eventually change their minds about being faithful and loyal to me. FWB’s with some strings attached eliminates that from happening i, f her and I are on the same page with things and honest with each other. Your friend needs to end her marriage with her husband so he can move on and find himself someone that actually loves and cares about him , instead of being lied to and used. If he is wise , he should already be planning to leave her ass , which he is probably already doing if he is wise. Especially if she is treating him like shit. My ex pretty much pulled the same shit with me because she was a selfish person that eventually only cared about herself , it’s like she woke up one day and decided she no longer wants to be tied down in a relationship , so she became a selfish whore that only cared about herself , so I ended up kicking her ass to the curb where she belonged and moved on. Now that I moved on , she now wants me back and sadly that ship has sailed , she had her chance and she blew it with me. Her and I are still mutual for the kids’ sake but no way in hell am I falling for her bullshit again , she dug her own grave with me and I making her climb out of it herself She keeps trying to get me back , but sadly she is best not to , cuz I am already moving on and ended up meeting other girls’ that treat me way better than she does. I can’t stand selfish people that use people period. You either choose me for the long haul or keep walking. You treat me like a convenience , you will be my convenience as well. Thanks for a good time , but not a long time.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

I think you answered your own question especially since she seems to have discarded you that she’s a narcissist…. One reason people stay together is the children a lot of people who are unhappy do it because of the kids.

So the second reason is he’s paying the bills and her car payments so she can sit on her lazy ass and act like she’s a victim. Complaining about her husband behind his back while he’s serving this county caring less if he comes home and more about his money as well as military benefits.

She’s probably also cheating on him the military attracts some absolutely horrendous spouses men and women for that matter in military service need to be EXTREMELY careful who they choose to be with.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

My best friends adopted parents needed to divorce from the day I first met them. I walked into their house, and it was like I wasn't even a first time guest. The two of them were yelling up and down the stairs as the rest of their kids sat transfixed watching tv, I'm sure, trying to block it all out...again. I remember attending the mom's birthday party at their house, and everyone struggling to write birthday cards, so I helped write one for her husband because I'm a good writer, and she immediately handed it back to me and said, "I know you wrote this, because my husband would NEVER."

My friend told me they were staying together for the kids, but the kids clearly had so much trauma from all the yelling and as they grew up, often struggled in their own relationships. After a full 10 more years (I can't even imagine), they finally divorced but not before one tried to unalive themselves. My friends first and only marriage ended in divorce, and I remember during the thick of it, her asking me should she continue to fight for the marriage because she was true to her vows to him, and I told her point blank, if she had tried everything...counseling, seperation, church, etc. and nothing was working and if she felt in her heart that every single day, she dreaded coming home or didn't miss him when he was out of town, then perhaps, she needs to really think if she was willing to do that for another 10 years+ hoping for change.

So I think truly, some stay together because they feel like they have no other options, or no one would want them with kids and baggage. Some I'm sure are in it for the money (though this was not the case for either of them). Some swear its for the kids. Some just really really really believe until death do us part even if they are broken by the relationship.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

For a woman with kids it's smarter to stay. If she left this guy would basically be a free man with the only responsibility of paying child support and being the fun dad every other weekend. The mom would have to work twice as hard to raise the kids on her own. Paying for damn near everything for the kids and being the full time caretaker for them with no help. Also it causes trauma for kids when their parents spilt so that's a whole thing as well.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Why stay in a loveless marriage? 🤔 Well, it’s often more complex than it seems. People hang on to the familiar for comfort, finances (bye-bye car notes! 🚗), and promises made under the stars. Kids add emotional layers, as breaking family ties might seem like a red flag. Maybe fear of the unknown or hope for rekindling keeps them in limbo. Her talks about divorce could be wishful thinking or simply a fantasy to vent frustrations. It’s a rollercoaster ride in love's carnival 🎢, and she's holding on tight! ❤️

1

ohsheeT · Answer

Yes I agree with you there's no reason in this world to be in a relationship where there's no love and trust and respect and our bond anymore even if you have kids you do it right your kids will be okay but they have to show their kids that they're still love and respect there and not argue or fight because they're just teaching the kids how to act if they ever get into a relationship and it doesn't go right the kids are going to act just like their parents but worse

DishLady · Answer

Some stay bc of their kids.  Some stay bc of some religious sense of obligation. Some stay bc they'd rather be with the wrong person than to be alone.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Because with the cost of living these days, moving out is not easy and, in some cases, almost impossible.

Anonymous · Answer

You answered your own question.
She stays because they have kids together and she likes the lifestyle and his money. Although her words are full of resentment and frustration, she understands on some level that the marital framework is working and that he is supporting them all. She may even still have feelings for him.

Marriage is a lifestyle framework typically used to provide a stable platform for raising kids. The couple may or may not have a strong romantic relationship alongside this. Which is why arranged marriages work.

overlord337645 · Answer

I feel like a lot of people who have kids at that point do not want there kids to see a divorce and lets face it if you can live together for 20 years 5 more until your kids grows up is not that bad but yea a lot of times parents do it to protect there children and make sure they grow up right before they divorce that way the childs idea of marrige is diffrent than the parents ultimate choice to get a divorcce

Noodle_fan · Answer

U already answer ur question, its because he is paying the bill I think stuff like that is pretty common in places where traditional role gender is still strong

GrinchyTsy · Answer

I stayed cause of my kids…… I stayed so I got the abuse and so forth and not them.

Anonymous · Answer

honestly, do you really need to ask this? do you have a brain?

she is staying because she knows her kids need their father.

there is also likely a financial component to it. maybe she can't afford to raise kids on her own

Cheerfull009 · Answer

She is enjoying on husband earning , so she doesn't go for divorce, she want to enjoy with other men being a wife, 😃😀

JustinTheGreat · Answer

Comfortability. Once you’re married with kids, “just leaving” is a lot easier said than done. It’s not just your relationship status that changes, it’s your whole life that changes.

robocop666 · Answer

Well in Ireland we have a very very low divorce rate. This is common here. I wonder why myself. I see couples who hate each other staying together.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Children, lose of the home and other financial pitfalls, hope that things will change, integrity to the commitment.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

Could be culture influence or financial reasons or the kids are still small.

Communicationisking · Answer

for the kids/stigma around failed marriage

itsannalee · Answer

Because marriage is a commitment.

Caroline005 · Answer

I think she just like to complain.

Gabriel-Chicanito · Answer

Bc, they're Married!

virtualwasp · Answer

Tax benefits

Why do people stay married if they dislike their spouse?

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