ADVICE NEEDED ANYONE?

[Anonymous]

So I met this man, I'm 23 and he's 38. We started talking online, after we became a match on an app, for the purpose of marriage.
One conversation led to the other, because I do ask a lot of questions.
I am a virgin and what struck me the most, is that, he said he wants me to get pregnant for him, before he marries me. His reason was "Experience"
I told him over text, that I agreed to his terms.
I'm scared that if he does get me pregnant, how am sure he's going to commit. At this point, my mind is clouded.
I don't know what to think or do anymore.

Please advise, anything helps!

[ChicoFromThe305]

Don't jump into anything without investigation if the connection is new there's no reason marriage and children should be in conversation if it's all a new thing, also don't have children until y'all marry, sounds like he just wants to bust a nut in you, unless you are sure he will stick around I think it's best to prevent the children part

[Asker]

Indeed the connection is still new.
Even though I partially agreed out of fear, because he said he would unmatch me, since I didn't respond to his message for two days, which was stupid. That's why I needed external advice.
I'm not even sure he will stay true to his word and I am scared of disappointing my family.
Thank you for sharing your advice, I found really helpful and just the push I needed to move forward and run, making a better decision for myself/future.

[ChicoFromThe305]

You sound like a very wise woman, thinking logically has it's important moments and this is one of them, I didn't even know he said that, but you being able to use that as a clue on how unstable his decision making might be is a good observation, best of luck

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your support!
Proud to tell you, I am finally free of the burden! Made the right decision to unmatch him and was such a relief 😮‍💨
Couldn't have done that without your support and advice. Much appreciated!

[ChicoFromThe305]

I'm glad my advice was of help, It would be quite unsatisfying to hear that some guy used you for sex and left you with a much bigger responsibility to deal with on your own, besides you can do better, many people out there that won't require you to rush into anything and at least leave enough time so you can process and see where you are going in life.

[Anonymous]

He will commit to you after you have his child.

[Finchie40]

Run the other way girl , that is completely insane

[Asker]

Gladly and I did run!
Thank you for your support, I appreciate it😇🫶🏼

[Finchie40]

Yea find yourself a guy that wants you for you , that accepts you for you , not for what you can do for him period , Relationships are about giving and receiving and choosing each other. Marriage and having babies should be the last thing on your mind , fall in love first then talk about marriage and babies

[Anonymous]

Are you desperate? Get married first obviously, isn’t that the point of the app? Why even run the risk of being left a single mother? Smh.

[Asker]

No, I felt really stuck that's why I came for advice here. I'm ashamed to tell my family this.

By the way, Thank you for your advice, I found it really helpful, gave me the head slap I needed.

[Opinion Owner]

You met this guy online, and he has no ties to you outside of that so you are absolutely not stuck. Word of advise, a guy who really wants to get to know you and build a life with you won’t be trying to talk about sex and babies before you even take the conversation off the app. You should look for a much more respectful man, don’t settle for a creep trying to impregnate you before giving you a ring. And no problem! Keep looking.

[Asker]

Thank you so much for your support and advise.

I unmatched and blocked him already without looking back this time, such a relief 😮‍💨

[Desi_Butcher]

This would be stupid to bear his child before marriage of he's even serious for marriage.

[Desi_Butcher]

If**

[Asker]

Thank you for your support and advice.

I finally made a decision not to do any of that, unmatched and blocked him😮‍💨

[Desi_Butcher]

Your welcome. Think twice always, even thrice in online dating.

[Anonymous]

You should definitely not have sex before marriage. If the man who loves you truly loves you, he will not take your virginity until marriage.

[Asker]

Thank you for your eye-opening response and support, I truly appreciate it 😇🫶🏼

[Opinion Owner]

@Asker
You're welcome 🙌

[Vevv123]

No no no … snap out of it 🫰

[Asker]

Absolutely!! I'm totally out. I took my time to analyze/understand my situation and with you all helpful advice, made that possible.
Thank you so much!

[Vevv123]

As someone who’s dated older men 😭… he’s 38… why doesn’t he date someone his age… you really think he doesn’t know what he’s doing? Use your brain please.

[Vevv123]

Please please please… for the love of god. Save yourself 😭😭😭

[Asker]

YES SIS, I DID IT!! FINALLY FREE!! I just unmatched him for good!
Thank you so much with love 🥹🫶🏼
Thank you for your support 🫂❤️

[Vevv123]

Any time! 💕

[Anonymous]

Eff off troll.

[Asker]

I'm for real and not even trolling, these things happen. I was in between accepting his terms, the gaslighting and manipulation I felt was real, my instincts were going off on and off. I was thinking, If I was wrong for going to say no to him or right for pulling away, I felt confused. If not I won't be here asking questions or telling my story for help. I decided to stay anon for personal reasons.
With the help of the others, I finally see everything clearly, unmatched and blocked him, I felt relieved afterwards.