If the man makes enough money for everyone, would you prefer traditional roles or would you prefer you both work and split chores equally?

Question

To clarify the choices:

Yes, men still had chores in traditional gender roles, but they were typically different from women's household duties. The division of labor depended on the time period, culture, and class, but in general:

Men’s Traditional Chores:

Providing & Finances – The primary responsibility was earning money to support the family.

Heavy Labor & Maintenance:
-Chopping wood
-Fixing things around the house (plumbing, carpentry, electrical work)
Maintaining the roof, fences, and other structures

Yard Work & Farming:
-Mowing the lawn
-Tending to crops (if they had a farm or garden)
-Taking care of large livestock (horses, cattle, etc.)

Home Protection & Security:
-Ensuring the home was safe from intruders
-Handling firearms, if applicable
-Resolving disputes or external threats
Seasonal Responsibilities:
-Clearing snow in winter
-Harvesting crops in fall
-Preparing firewood for the colder months

Transportation & Errands:

-Driving the family where they needed to go

-Taking care of the car (oil changes, repairs, etc.)

Disciplinary Role – In some households, the father was seen as the authority figure for disciplining children.

Women’s Traditional Chores for Comparison:
-Cooking and preparing meals
-Cleaning the house
-Doing laundry
-Taking care of children and elderly family members
-Sewing and mending clothes
-Grocery shopping (sometimes)
-Handling social obligations and hospitality

Even in traditional gender roles, men weren’t completely free from household tasks. It's just that their work was often more physically demanding and focused outside the house, while women handled more of the day-to-day upkeep inside.

LazerBean · Accepted Answer

I definitely prefer the traditional one. The main reason I don't work many hours is because I feel bad when I'm away if my husband gets off early or at odd hours. This way, I'm able to bend my schedule completely around his, which is usually different every day. Then when he gets home, we are usually able to spend the rest of the day together however we want.

alice55 · Accepted Answer

I prefer traditional even if the man don't have a lot of money to be honest, we just need to be very careful.

After I guess it depends on the countries in mine we can live on one single minimal wage income. It's not easy but it's possible many people do it.

Summeroflove · Answer

A relationship should be equal efforts and most people misunderstand what traditional relationships really are even supposed to be. They have been made a fantasy and glamorized until people actually get into them and aren’t happy, like anything else you can’t just trust many influencers. Especially women who are let’s face it rich women on their podcasts sometimes making significantly more money then their husbands. But I digress.

I really think the man in the situation you’re describing the man gets the short end of the deal there. It seems like he’s putting a lot more effort and labor into the relationship then the woman is. But I’m not to judge if two people are genuinely happy with one another that’s what matters. No two relationships should be the same so people need to have serious discussions on what they’re looking for. To make sure they are compatible.

Any real relationship is 50/50 it’s equal effort on both ends. Two people may work equally as hard in separate roles but two people who love one another will want to take care of one another in what way works best. Such as if one spouse is making enough money to where everyone can live comfortably on a single salary then absolutely this can be beneficial to where the man doesn't have to lift a finger around the house. He can relax and she takes care of the home and yes that includes many of the jobs such as fixing things, mowing, and other things in many cases as well. Especially if you’re on a farm.

Traditional relationships even decades ago were more for middle class to wealthy families. Where it was affordable to live on one salary not someone barely making ends meet. Many cases both spouses worked just sometimes the woman didn’t work as glamorous of a job. They may have been maids, school teachers, nurses, factory workers, working the switchboard for the phone company, secretary’s, among jobs like that.

Before that there really wasn’t automatic washing machines. There wasn’t boxed dinners, microwaves, and everything else. Making home cooked meals for all three meals meant making food from scratch. It took hours to complete. Seeing wasn’t a hobby it was how their family had clothes to wear again very time consuming. It wasn’t like you just bake cookies and sew as a hobby. I don’t think people understand the labor it took.

I’m not shutting down modern stay at home parents many are very hard working and don’t get enough credit. But these relationships can go horribly wrong.

Unfortunately for men some women want a easy ride in life. They become lazy, entitled, and demanding. Blowing your money and having affairs until they take half of everything you got. On the other extreme a woman with no financial independence being dumped with no backup plan, no work experience, and no money of her own again she’s in a really bad spot. Especially if she’s with the kids.

So please know what you’re getting yourself into and that both parents have one another’s best interests at heart. It’s absolutely okay to know what you want. Just be aware of people who aren’t what they seem.

ShellyB · Answer

The division of work you listed seems pretty fair to me as long as both are willing to help when they are able if the other one needs help. We do not have a fence to fix or cows or a lot of that stuff but if we did, he would be fixing the fence not me. I could hand him tools or something but I am not going to be fixing a fence just being honest. Or chopping wood or most of those things. My car started making a weird noise when I was stopping at stoplights, he took it to his dad’s house and they changed the brakes, they also changed the oil that time but mostly he takes it to a shop to get the oil changed. He does all that stuff, all I do is drive my car and sometimes I have to put gas in it but usually he does that for me. He takes out the trash, he carries anything heavy, he puts furniture together. He also helps me with other stuff, like I mostly clean but he will vacuum if I ask him to, I mostly cook but he will take something out of the oven if I ask him to. He often loads and unloads the dishwasher. He folds laundry sometimes but I don’t really like him actually doing laundry (like setting the machine) bc he has shrank two of my nice sweaters so I would just rather do that part of it myself.

We both have jobs but, my job is not as intense as his and (I don’t know a good way to say this) I don’t care as much about it as he cares about his, he makes over twice as much as I do, I am really only working to build up our house downpayment fund and vacation fund.

Having said that I think every couple and every individual should try to live the way that makes them happy, not everybody would like the same things as me so I don’t think it should be any sort of requirement or even something where there is a lot of social pressure, but I do think it is a system that mostly lets people do what they are good at and avoid what they don’t like or can’t do as well. JMO!

Finchie40 · Answer

I prefer traditional roles but I wouldn’t expect her to do everything at home , but she should tackle a bulk of it , when I am at work , if I came home to a messy house and I noticed she didn’t do shit all day I wouldn’t be mad , I would just ask her if she is ok and not make a big deal about it , but if she was being lazy consistently every day , then I would be upset that she isn’t doing shit and expecting me to do everything. Then I might yell and be pissed off. But overall I don’t expect my partner to be a slave whatsoever , everyone of us needs a relaxing day to unwind and not give a shit about thongs

DishLady · Answer

Work and split.

The ONLY reason I say this is bc if I live the guy I want to keep him around a while, right? The stress and burden of keeping an entire family on your back in addition to carrying a company/team/project forward at work when the stakes are so high adds undue strain on a guy’s mind and body, contributing to the lifespan issue folks have been researching since the 1980s. I’m not saying it out of some feminist compulsion. Women and men BOTH need to pull their weight in a relationship today bc of what’s financially, physically and emotionally needed to run a good (prosperous, happy and healthy) household today.

Apple1996 · Answer

Traditional but I prefer doing a lot of the outside chores as well

MzAsh · Answer

I’d still prefer we both work and split finances and chores equally.

Avicenna · Answer

I've never dated a woman who had any interest in being a stay at home mom, and there is no reason for a woman to just stay at home and not work if she doesn't have kids (unless she physically can't work).

CheeseMonster · Answer

I would still want to both work and split evenly. That way if anything happens to one of us (injury or illness), our whole income isn't at risk, which would increase stress and make healing take longer and cost more.

Also, we could do the housework we each enjoy more (or split the ones we both hate), and each have more freedom to pursue a career we may actually enjoy, or at least more power to quit a bad job and have a little time to find a new one because we still have some income. That way it's also less stressful, and less likely to burn out or get resentful of having to do things we hate every day with no chance to change it.

The only potential issue I see with both working would be if we had kids (who would watch them while we are both at work?), but I'm not going to have kids so that doesn't even apply. Even if we have certain pets which need more involved care, it's much cheaper and easier to hire someone to walk/feed a dog once in the middle of each work day, than to hire a full-time babysitter for all working hours. Frankly I see no other benefit to traditional than this one thing—which is big if you have kids, yes, but still. All the other benefits to split still apply.

dustybiker2 · Answer

Relationships are balance there is nothing wrong with throwing the laundry into a machine that does all of the work for you, if it's sitting in front of you and a person is capable. You share a home. That space is mutual. It should not require thought. My kids have been doing this since 6-7 when they first asked how to run things too. I've never had to ask. We all do this in my home. Easy living. Happy people don't overthink the basic life daily issues.

uncleBobbyb77 · Answer

Actually women and children were also traditionally shared responsibilities with the men for yardwork, and the maintenance and care for crops, plants, and animals. When you start the question with "if the man makes enough money himself.." it is indicating a situation in which the man himself is performing all of the the revenue generating actions the family income is derived. Meaning the labor has already been assigned completely to him by the structure of the question itself and cannot be split evenly while keeping to the parameters that define the situation in question to begin with.

Gwendoline · Answer

Up until the kids are a certain age absolutely. Perfectly honest most household chores are not as they were and haven't been for a long time. The washer and dryer does the majority of the laundry, vacuum does the brushing, floors are easy to mop, you can buy self vacuuming and moping. Cooking is very easy, with proper preparation it's easy and basic simple dishes easy to throw up.

Kelley1 · Answer

Traditional. I will be a stay-at-home mother and do the housework, cooking, most shopping, and cater to my husband. When he comes home, he can watch TV or whatever, and if he wants a snack or something to drink, I will happily hop up and get it for him.

Vevv123 · Answer

I think it's essential for both to work in this economy. Chores can be done AND you can work, there's no reason to give up work for them. If both partners can work and are able bodied, it creates a better opportunity to grow and have financial security.

Shiprex · Answer

I'd prefer if this had an option where the MAN could choose to be the stay at home adult and do those same regular chores with help from a providing wife who went out and became a wage slave. That was an opportunity missed by feminism when it dragged women through doors only to work and ignore the home life as a choice. That it also caused wages to stagnate while productivity, profits and wealth disparity grew the benefits and returns from labouring in a workplace diminished. The household STILL didn't get it's priority put high enough. So the family unit has been demolished now as two providers and no home maker is the new norm.

Lalalove11 · Answer

I like traditional but I'm not sure how easy it is to have single wage households anymore, it seems to have been taken away from us. On the one hand I'm very thankful I have opportunities to explore a career , but I have always been a homebody and I adore looking after kids, making the house look and smell nice. If I could, I would choose to stay home.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Work isn’t just about providing

If a man makes enough for a comfortable life that’s awesome
But if that means his wife will be locked away at home doing chores her brain will begin to atrophy

People need work in order to remain stimulated

So I would want my wife to have her own thing going
Not necessarily working ungodly hours since she doesn’t have to but doing “something” to keep busy

Miristheiss · Answer

No man should pay for everything and let his wife not work UNLESS there are kids.

That is the traditional female role. MOM. If there aren't any kids than there is not one reason for her to be home all day. At least have a part time job.

Stay at home MOMS not Stay at home WIFE.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

Eğer If he covers all my expenses and does it with love, I would prefer a traditional marriage. I will only take care of my wife and children and do this with love.

sage2021 · Answer

Traditional roles. But I have always had my own money and I don't think that I could get used to a man giving me an allowance and always asking me what I am spending 💰 his money on. Nope! That won't work for me!!

itsannalee · Answer

I prefer traditional, that’s why i look for traditional man. Now i still have income, but my man pay 100% all the bills.

But get a traditional man, of course I don’t mind being a traditional wife who submissive to my man.

LoveKisses · Answer

I would rather have a remote job so I can stay home with the kids or own small business and take the kids to work with me lol.

CrazyKittyCatLady · Answer

Split of course! I have never cared for traditional roles.

sophie123469 · Answer

It would depend on what he wants, I’d be ok with either tbh.

blackeagle007 · Answer

I’m non traditional. I like women that work. Way passes days of having children now. S and prefer she doesn’t have kids

chocolatetwopointo · Answer

i could never js sit at home and look pretty and js wait for him to switch me out for a younger woman and have nothing left

nawtee_me · Answer

I would leave that choice up to her if she wanted to go to work or not.

Xawyx-2 · Answer

I prefer equality.

texasman2002 · Answer

I prefer traditional roles

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

50/50

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Housewife ofe life 😄

If the man makes enough money for everyone, would you prefer traditional roles or would you prefer you both work and split chores equally?

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Would you rather have a man that works a lot to provide or one that works just enough to get by but gets to spend more time at home?

If the man makes enough money for everyone, would you prefer traditional roles or would you prefer you both work and split chores equally?

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