Which is worse, when your partner cheats on you with someone more SUPERIOR or INFERIOR than you?

[Anonymous]

I feel like if they cheated with someone who’s better than me (in terms of looks especially), I’d be super insecure about myself and the way I look. But if they were to cheat on me with someone who’s less attractive then I’d also be questioning my self value… It’s a lose lose situation for sure.

Superior

Inferior

It’s horrible either way

[Summeroflove]

It’s horrible either way but a lot of people cheat with inferior partners as a means to get their rocks/box off. Sometimes people want the best of both worlds someone whose romantic relationship material isn’t the type of people that they have fun with in bed.

So for instance a man may cheat with a less attractive woman because she’s easier to get into bed some are simple acts of opportunity. A woman may sleep with a man who really has no life going for himself but the same thing he’s fun in bed. It’s just sex to them….

When someone cheats with someone superior this is where the discard phase is starting. Narcissists need a backup plan before they move on to someone else. So sometimes they will string them along while other times they are also willful participants. At some point the same thing will happen to them.

Narcissists are cheaters point blank. That’s what they do is they cheat on you behind your back so many times that by the time you start figuring it out they did it a million times. Many times it’s opportunistic they found someone to have sex with when they’re getting bored of the sex life with someone else or not getting sex.

[Asker]

Honestly I get it. I don’t agree with cheating because why didn’t they just communicate it with their partner if something’s lacking but I can see why they might feel tempted. So as long as the affair partner is willing then it doesn’t matter to the cheater if they’re better/worse than their current partner huh

[Summeroflove]

I agree asker and if ir reaches that point where someone’s unhappy….. LEAVE

[Summeroflove]

But this is common. A lot of times the inferior partners are just for sex as well as finding something missing.

Like why would a female teacher sleep with a student. Who isn’t financially stable or anything but matried to a man who is…. Some people are just sick

[Asker]

True, lack of basic self control seem to be the major issue then… sadly there are lots of sick people out there.

[Summeroflove]

Many people are just that. But they mask it and may seem really good because they don’t want someone seeing their true colors.

Some people deep down want a genuine relationship but just don’t have the self control as well as want the best of both worlds.

[Summeroflove]

But a major issue is that many people hide their true intentions. If someone for instance wants someone for financial reasons many times they will not be honest because they will be dumped.

So they mask their true motives. They will love bomb someone. They will pretend to be everything they want while also not having a genuine connection they will go out and cheat. Party. Have fun. Because they don’t really love the person they’re with.

[Summeroflove]

Someone may be with someone for social status. They want someone to show off. But again…. Same difference

[Asker]

Absolutely! I also feel like a lot of people nowadays seem to always be on the lookout for “upgrades”. Like they can settle into a relationship but they’ll still keep their options open hoping for someone better to come along

Sad to see that a lot of relationship nowadays are becoming more transactional. Like you said, they can get with someone solely for social status while not actually being interested or attracted to the person

[Summeroflove]

Asker this is how narcissists think nothing will ever be good enough for these types of individuals. They will become resentful as well as want the next thing. Especially when their fantasy of someone crumbles.

[Summeroflove]

But this is the other thing many times all throughout a relationship they will cheat. They will cheat with “inferior” people for fun. As well as because they need the next thrill in bed. Sex is just sex to these people.

But they are always looking for someone else. They always have a backup plan as well as are always looking for something better then what they have.

They don’t build genuine connections.

[Summeroflove]

Much worse then a transactional relationship is many narcissists become very one sided. They may love bomb someone at first but eventually it becomes all about them and keeping them happy.

At least a transactional relationship both people are gaining something whether it’s genuine love or not. One sided relationships are misery and eventually someone becomes tired of sacrificing their own happiness to keep them happy.

[Anonymous]

The level of distress experienced in either scenario is likely to be significant, though the specific nature of the pain may differ. Discovering infidelity with someone perceived as "superior" could trigger feelings of inadequacy and heightened insecurity, potentially leading to prolonged self-doubt. Conversely, infidelity with someone perceived as "inferior" might evoke a sense of betrayal and confusion, challenging one's understanding of the relationship's dynamics and leading to questions about one's own worth. Ultimately, the emotional impact depends heavily on individual sensitivities and the specific context of the relationship.

[Asker]

Yes absolutely. It’s bound to hurt deep either way, but I feel like there would be a difference in reaction if I were to find out the other woman is inferior to me vs if she were superior. You said it best.

[Vesuvius87]

It really doesn't matter who they cheated with. They still cheated and that person needs to be out of your life. If they want to be a better person, they have their chance to start all over with someone else.

[Asker]

Most definitely! It’s such a low class and immature move to cheat

[Vesuvius87]

Exactly. They aren't suitable for a stable, relationship.

[Anonymous]

Sounds like you're someone who deserved what you got. Looking at people as inferior.

[Asker]

Touché

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my aim here is to navigate the stormy weather of love with a sprinkle of humor and sass. Cheating is a betrayal, whether it's with a "superior" or "inferior" substitute. It creates insecurity either way. But let's flip the script a bit, shall we? The real question isn't about their choice; it's about why they'd risk losing someone as fabulous as you. Ghosting their expectations and focusing on self-love and healing is the real game plan. Cheaters are just a red flag marathon, and you deserve someone who runs toward, not away from you! 💕😉

[jahaims]

It's equal. Cheating is equally evil regardless of the situation

[Asker]

You’re absolutely correct

[zagor]

That wouldn't be a consideration. Goodbye girl.

[Asker]

Preach

[MrMichael69]

How does one determine who is superior or inferior?

[Asker]

I think it’s very subjective, and you’d have to be judge for it. It could be someone who you consider to be more/less physically attractive, or some who is more/less successful than you in their career

[Anonymous]

Superior in what way? It did kind of happen to me once.

[Asker]

It can be in any way, be it physical appearance, career success, personality wise - basically if they’re someone you’d consider to be an “upgrade” from you

[Opinion Owner]

She told me he was more well endowed, this after I found out about it. I don't know if she was telling the truth or just trying to hurt my feelings.

[Asker]

Would you feel better if he was smaller than you though?

[Opinion Owner]

Yes, I think so. I felt like I was being objectified, too be honest.

[Asker]

Ah okay. That’s understandable, she betrayed you over something so superficial

[Opinion Owner]

I'm not even sure if that was the real reason, it's just what she told me. Just objectifying me, I guess she knew it would hurt

[Asker]

The real reason was that she’s just a cheater. I’m sure it had very little to do with you, she would still cheat either way. She definitely took you for granted and objectified you - I hope you’re able to heal and move on because you deserve better

[Opinion Owner]

Thank you, appreciate that 😊

[Nikki1989]

It makes no difference.

[Asker]

It’s still a massive betrayal either way