How do you know that a guy is typically conservative or patriarchal?

[Anonymous]

I have a friend of mine who was discussing with me about his future life expectations, we were discussing about careers and the topic shifted towards marriage, when i asked ,” what do you expect from your future wife?”, he replied, ‘ She must take care of my parents and cook.’
What does this reflect on the guy’s personality?
Did he say it genuinely?

[SteveSmith1985]

Yea, that's not only a conservative position. It's a culturally influenced conservative position (from my perspective, as a Canadian. I don't know where you're from).

Usually a typically conservative patriarchal guy, would call himself "traditional." The parents wouldn't have any role in this traditional marriage. That's what makes me say "culturally influenced." So, for example Chinese families are often structured the way your guy describes. The wife is supposed to take care of the husbands parents, as well as him. It is definitely patriarchal and conservative

He would believe that men and women each have different defined roles in relationships and marriages. This is a guy who would expect to make the money, while his wife would take care of everything "domestic" (everything. Cooking, cleaning, taking care of children).

He sees a man's role as the head of the household. His wife is his partner, but also must cede to her husband's untimate authority should there be a disagreement about something significant (e. g. Moving to another town). Patriarchy mean "rule by the father." That's certainly applicable to your guy. The inclusion of parents isn't part of traditional conservative. (here anyway).

Short answer is, yep. Your guy is definitely conservative, and its very much based on a patriarchal way of thinking.

If you're not on the same page, I wouldn't make any long-term plans to have this guy in your future.

🙂

[Asker]

Thanks dude!

[SteveSmith1985]

You're quite welcome!

[standardguy]

I like your statement because it was neutrally spoken and you just pointed out in the end that this type of woman won't be happy with this type man.

[SteveSmith1985]

@standardguy

haha guilty as charged. That's funny. So here's what happened: I was making a point, to make this neutral. It is not something I feel neutral about, at all.

I was totally proud of myself for how I managed to stay neutral. (it's not like I re-read it or anything, but I was totally patting myself on the back... in my mind... for being so good at not letting my biases affect giving this woman a good answer)

I laughed really hard when you made me go back and re-read this. You are 100% right. It's partly my own biases making the very end totally not neutral, but... I was also assuming that the OP was likely not asking because she shared the views this guy had expressed having (although to be fair, I wasn't sure about that).

I can't defend myself on this. You totally have a point.

[standardguy]

Well in fact even the very end was neutral. Because you did not say that it was her fault or his fault that they weren't compatible.

[SteveSmith1985]

@standardguy

But I totally wrote it assuming she wasn't of the same view. I think you got me on this one. Fair and square

[standardguy]

Yes of course she has another view than the man and we two. But it was still elegant what you did 😉

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

I see 2 options:

• You didn't spot deadpan humor
• He's serious, then it is conservatism level 999 lol

Otherwise, to detect worldviews on the spectrum, I think a short survey would suffice:

• What is your political orientation?
• What do you think about the evolution of gender roles?
• What’s your take on immigration today?
• Is ecology an urgent priority or just one issue among others?
• Is today’s culture better, worse, or just different from the past?
• What do you think of movements like Black Lives Matter or MeToo?
• What role do you think religion should play in society?
• Do you think today’s society has changed too much compared to the past?

With such questions, assuming you know how to make sense of the answers on the spectrum, would clear a lot of things in no time lol

[alice55]

Well you can’t know with such Little informations à lot of guys are a mix of modern and traditional they take what benefit them from both so they re neither, you can only know while talking more with him.

cooking and taking care of parents can be demanded by a « modern » man that also expect his wife to work fulltime and do 50/50 it don’t mean the guys is traditional he can just be a lazy ass that expect his wife to do everything and this is not what traditional is Like

[VIVANT]

It’s creepy whatever you want to call it. Run. sheesh 👀

[MrChinaski]

Run. Don't walk.

[14gurlz2gagonit]

His expectations of a woman seems to be traditional instead of some grandiose speech about equity in the work place... probably conservative. Values his parents is also a good indicator of that. That in group or family oriented preference would also be an indicator of that... the opposite generally hates their own, and will eat their own.

I'm not a mind reader so I don't know if he's being genuine.

[236color]

It doesn't sound like a joke to me, if it was he hasn't got much of a sense of humor. Other clues are if he asks about your body count, ever uses the word virgin in your presence, or invites you to church. If he wears a MAGA hat. Any of those things are clear indicators he's looking for June Cleaver, not a real life 21st century woman.

[WhitneySnow]

That guy is really conservative and patriarchal. Stuff like that is a pretty big clue.

[OneViewpoint]

Typically these guys are low IQ, unable to cope with chang of any kind, angry, and religious. They like a static world where they don’t have to think much. Low effort.

[TheSpaceGnome]

I dunno whats weirder, your distain for being family oriented, or his lack of mentioning common interests/hobbies.

Both of you don't seem ready for a relationship.

[Anonymous]

Cooking is a basic survival skill that everyone, regardless of their gender, should have.. The guy sounds like a time traveler from the 50's.. Run girl, run for the hills. Unless you want to be his personal slave, maid and cook

[Douglas1180]

Surely there must be other clues. Does he believe in the American dream or would he rather sit around complaining about how he's a victim?

[Anonymous]

Why would she take care of his parents? Isn’t that his responsibility? I mean I wouldn’t wanna have to babysit my in laws 24/7 even if ya do get along with them.

[Anonymous]

When they are dumber than a box of rocks and uneducated, they are most likely a right-winger.

[Asker]

Well, in this case he’s educated, i asked the question based on our conversation given above.

[DrPepper12]

Hope he was joking. Does he come from a very conservative culture? If I was a woman... 🚩🚩🚩🚨🚨🚨☠️☠️☠️❌❌❌🚫🚫🚫🛑🛑🛑👎🏻👎🏻👎🏻

[beefcakebradybatson]

If he has traditional (some such as I would say antidiluvian) ideas about female and male gender roles, as well as unprogressive opinions about POC, queer folk, immigrants, etc.

[Anonymous]

what's wrong with him being conservative? even liberals benefit off conservatives by leeching off them

[Ariesman81]

Sounds like he has a firm grasp of gender roles. Typically a conservative mindset. Not sure about the parents thing though.

[Anonymous]

He views and treats you as a accessory more than as a human.

[Anonymous]

Well you're not going to learn it from one question.

"Take care of his parents"😆 what a maroon!😆

[standardguy]

He seems to be sort of Christian if he has the right values.

[seeyounexttuesday]

He seems like a guy who would take care of his wife.

[Staximus]

That is a pretty low list of demands

[noohair]

What country are you in?

[EmmiL]

Ask him questions about gender

[Anonymous]

Such guys are usually religious.

[jahaims]

Wtf lol

[DCVsMarvel]

He's lazy