How do you get rid of having anxious attachment style in a relationship or in dating?

Question

How do you become secure?

Purpleronnie · Accepted Answer

Well from my understanding it would start from simply knowing , I’m thinking a great many people don’t realize that they suffer that fear of abandonment and reelection. I think a person like that should attempt to work on their self confidence and worth whilst trying to understand what specifically triggers those feelings.
I would speculate that dealing with it all whilst IN a relationship would need an understanding and patient partner , someone that would use their obvious influence over you for good rather than to manipulate or control.

I’m told that often these feels of anxious attachment stem from childhood , parenting style or trauma so they would likely never truly disappear but their impact lessened through understanding of the thought process that causes the anxiety / trigger and the communication skills to let those that love you understand and support you.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Accepted Answer

I wouldn't say getting rid of that since it's not a disease nor a virus, it's you, your life, your story. It's most probably related to how you were loved and cared for as a kid, and well, this is the never-ending mission of therapy here. All around the world, at least in countries where it exists.

Experiencing relations based on mutual care, in romance and/or friendship, would also help a lot. It's very easy to say though, I know...

IslaTheWitch · Accepted Answer

work on your insecurities... like... you have to remove the cause... to change the effect :D

PrincessC16 · Accepted Answer

You need to do inner child work. This stems from childhood trauma. Check out CPTSD.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, anxious attachment style can be a tricky little beast in relationships, can't it? Trust me, I've seen it all. 😅 The key here is self-awareness and communication. Learn to recognize your triggers and practice self-soothing techniques. Talk openly with your partner about your needs and boundaries. It's all about building trust and reinforcing positive interactions, you know? Falling in love with yourself first is a game-changer! 💖 Remember, love's journey is as much about understanding yourself as it is about connecting with others. Stay fabulous! 💫

ohsheeT · Answer

You don't want to get rid of it all the way because it keeps you on your toe listening to his every word and what he's saying or not saying

AaronKrieger · Answer

Through experience, time in the relationship, and being aware of bad habits that feed that attachment style.

For example, for the first girl I seriously dated, I was exhaustingly codependent on her. Eventually, I turned off my social media notifications and that way I wasn't stuck to my phone waiting for her to respond. Now, when I date people, I am careful about that and never let myself get hooked like that.

10bear · Answer

As others have said, you have to soul search which having a therapist help you through it is a good idea.

If you are in a relatuonship, It helps to have a open conversation with your partner about your anxieties. Their understanding and cooperation will go a looooong way. And before you lash out for any reason ask yourself how you would react to what you are about to say (manage expectations) if they said it to you.

NathanDavis · Answer

I would suggest therapy, introspection... and group therapy as well

NicholasRedone · Answer

@simslover92 I thrive on it as it gives me clarity and perspective - you know. How most people are just users, fakes, and run in cliques - I'd rather stay an outcast 🤪😈🤭

sage2021 · Answer

Can you Google it and see if there are videos on YouTube about it?

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

Find the source, address it, learn how to calm your own thoughts

Account · Answer

Not sure, since I am able to recognize that I have the opposite problem.

WhitneySnow · Answer

It only goes away when you get really comfortable with your partner

KittygosMeoWW · Answer

I had to learn to enjoy solitude to get over that

PeterLegg91 · Answer

Work on dealing with it better and change your mind set

Spencer10 · Answer

I love it when a woman looks me right in the eye... that kind of confidence and strength is uber hot.

Anonymous · Answer

I wonder the same, because I was never in a relationship, and I'm anxious.

Ariesman81 · Answer

I'd never tell you

Valdemort · Answer

Tell me when you've found an answer.

Jennz6 · Answer

I’m not really sure

msc545 · Answer

A lot of very epensive therapy.

Anonymous · Answer

That's easy. Don't get attached.

MoonFace2 · Answer

Therapy.

How do you get rid of having anxious attachment style in a relationship or in dating?

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