How do I stop getting anxiety in relationships?

[Anonymous]

Seriously though? How do I stop worrying about him talking to someone else or cheating on me etc etc.

Like when my man doesn't respond for a few hours my mind goes CRAZY.

I can't help but think he's no longer interested and he's found someone else.

For reference, I was in a serious relationship 2 years ago and he was cheating on me the entire time.

I have done a LOT of work to heal and believe me, I've come a long way.

Yet I still get so scared.

[glennos89]

Thrust is the base for every good relationship. As long as there is no thrust your relationship will be doomed to fail!
Having no thrust keeping your boy away grom other will lead eventually to him searching for other female contacts. I would never cheat and have cheated before during my relationship but my ex was so extremely jealous at some point that I ruined every friendship with other females especially for her to comfort her but in the end I had only her left as female contact to talk which was unacceptable for me at some point so I started desperately searching for any female contacts again almost pushing me to the point that I really wanted to cheat on her! Her jealousy created cheating behaviour in me while it shouldn't have to be like that if she wasn't so extremely jealous. Jealousy is okay till a certain degree and is always there when you love someone and are scared to loose that person but don't let it take over control! Jealousy is 1 of the biggest relationship killers if it becomes to bad

[Asker]

I trust my boyfriend, he's such a sweet guy. I agree in that its a personal problem and I'm worried because I don't want to ruin things for myself.

[glennos89]

I don't know if the person in your profile picture is you but if it is... he should be the one being scared to loose his woman. Because finding that beauty again is nearly impossible 😂🙈

[glennos89]

If he really is the way you just told me then you shouldn't have to worry at all. Just give him the space to speak with other woman and you will see that nothing is going to happen because of it. If you have any doubts about his contact with another woman, talk about it then so he can reassure you nothing is going on but don't do it all the time because then you will push him away eventually 😇🙏

[Asker]

Thank you!
And no that’s not me lol.

[TheBootyChest]

This is a two-way street. You need to be able to trust him, but also he needs to build that trust with you.

For me, I would be letting her know why I didn't reply to her when I was gone for so long. Or I would invite her to join me to do the things I need to do.

[Asker]

I wish he was like you but he isn't. I told him before that I didn't like him ignoring me for hours but he never changed. He said he does it unintentionally and responds when he can.

[TheBootyChest]

He needs to show you with his actions that you are his priority. If he is too busy doing things you don't know of, then it's not a good sign that he wants to be with just you.

If someone is a full-time student, and you know their class schedule, then it's understandable that he isn't able to always be there for you. But in that situation, you know what he is doing.

[Asker]

So you think I have the right to feel this way?

[TheBootyChest]

How does he respond to you when he finally does get back to you? Does he try to put your mind at ease, or just reply to whatever message you sent him last?

[TheBootyChest]

In my book, you ALWAYS have the RIGHT to feel however you want to feel. No one can take that away from you.

The thing is though you need to find a gentleman who will understand how you feel and ask about why you feel that way. So that he can help you through it and can better understand how to act in those certain situations.

[Asker]

In the past it would lead to a fight because I'd stop responding and then he'd be persistant in trying to fix that. More recently he's said things like 'I've got you' or 'I'm not ignoring you'. Sometimes however he just responds normally.

[Asker]

Thanks!!

[TheBootyChest]

I hate that he says "I got you" because I would use that to reassure women. But now I understand that the bad boi uses it too. So now it has less meaning because of people like him.

But a truly genuine boyfriend would say more than 3 words to help her understand where he is coming from.

[Part2603]

NO! You're nuts. You need to get a job or get a hobby or SOMETHING, to have your own goals and life, so you aren't constantly focused on your relationship.

Clearly this has nothing to do with him, so BootChesty being all simpy and telling you feminist talking points about how emotions are always real doesn't really apply here.

If you can't wait an hour between texts, you've clearly have anxiety issues, and you should deal with them to become a more whole person. You can't love someone else until you learn to love yourself.

[Asker]

@Part2603 It's more than an hour... I don't mind him not responding for hours. But disappearing for an entire day is different.

[Ruenella_]

I think it has a lot to do with how you view yourself rather than how you view him and the relationship. I would stop to think and realize that it won't be the end of the world if he's unfaithful because I'm whole and complete without him or anyone else. I think finding peace within yourself first is the key.

[Asker]

That's also why I lowkey believe I should just be alone and never in a relationship. Being in one brings out the worst in me. Being single I am very content.

[Ruenella_]

A season of singleness (coupled with therapy) would be the wisest thing to do in your case. It would allow you to grow more comfortable in your skin and wouldn't bring any more uncomfortable feelings toward you or your partner.

[Asker]

I was single for 2 years. I think the therapy thing though is for sure..

[RealMarek]

There is no foolproof way to build trust, but I think the best approach is to find a man who is a rock of emotional stability and who is extremely consistent, who will be understanding of how you feel and go out of his way to reassure you. My SO had similar issues in the past, so I set my phone so she could track my location. I don’t mind if she can see where I am 24/7. It helped.

[Asker]

She's very lucky to have you. I am too shy to open up to my boyfriend. He knows I have issues and he has reassured me that I can call him any time I need to talk, but I don't feel comfortable opening up to him like that.

[RealMarek]

I know it can be tough to open up about sensitive topics. I was very shy when I was your age. And sometimes things are just too difficult to dwell on. Would it be easier if, instead of talking about the past, you can simply say something like “it would really help with my anxiety if you did X...”? This way you might be able to avoid delving into things that are difficult to talk through, and still be able to ask for what you need. I don’t know if that might work or not... just an idea.

[Asker]

Thank you, I will definitely take that into consideration.

[HighValue]

Don't post pictures online like your current profile picture. You know that it makes you look like you want attention from other guys and makes it so you will only attract the kind of guys that will cheat on you. You need to be good quality if you want to attract a good quality mate.

If you were a good quality mate with a good past, and only accepted a guy that has a good past and is good quality, you wouldn't be worrying about that so much.

[Friendlybro79]

If you're not speaking to a therapist you should. Based on your question it doesn't sound like unqualified strangers are the one you should seek advice from.

You're asking for help. My help is to suggest you speak to a trained professional because they can actually help you. It's definitely normal to need this kind of help and I hope you will get it if you're not already.

Good luck and I wish you well.

[baserunner611]

There no guarantee, I understand but there no guarantee

[Asker]

No guarantee what?

[baserunner611]

There no guarantee in life, but a guy known 3 to 5 months in the relationship if he going to married.
Ever if he spent twenty years with you he would never married

[baserunner611]

Sometimes every before on one date

[baserunner611]

He tell his brother, and tell mom be nice to you because she go to been her daughter in law

[baserunner611]

But be careful; some guy will be going to tell you, mom, he loves and marries you but never will. His sister or brother may know how he feels about who he want to married

[baserunner611]

If his dad asks, he tells him the true

[baserunner611]

I hope 🙏 that help 🆘 from Knoxville Tennessee bye any questions ask

[baserunner611]

Or favourite uncle or grandfather

[baserunner611]

But he is very protective of you around his mom ask questions
He like you, may be fear you leave mom make you mad 😡

[Asker]

Well I know he likes me because we’re not having sex until marriage

[baserunner611]

Unfortunately not so, more in long-term engagement 💍 and in 6 months to 10 months, you DON'T KNOW SOMEONE TO MARRIAGE. In Church counseling which wife I know engagement 💍 going with 4 husband to be never married. She waste her twenty.
Good luck

[baserunner611]

I also you say cheaper allway throwing tiger don't change
The past history will return with a revenge

[baserunner611]

It Not cheaper is cheating

[baserunner611]

You not every in the marriage

[baserunner611]

There is one way to find out, Monday county court married license see how he reaction?

[baserunner611]

One question
If you want to get married and do desire to match, then demand married.
You can hold a wedding ceremony on a later day

[Tstrbrainer]

See your therapist?

By the way why did you break up with him again?

[Asker]

I dont have a therapist. No I didn't but he texted me again and said he misses me.

[Tstrbrainer]

I think you should fix your anxiety by seeing a therapist

[Asker]

You're right...

[Jamie05rhs]

@Tstrbrainer She's broken up with him 3 times so far.

[Asker]

Loool twice actually can we please not point that out

[Jamie05rhs]

@itsalyssaagain Lol.
So this was just a bluff? You didn't actually go through with it?
"Guys he texted me back and I’m gonna break up with him again 😂😂"

[Asker]

Yeah I didn’t break up with him lol

[Jamie05rhs]

Lol okay

[Waldoe]

"Grow-up" being suspicious will Drive him away... and that will 'prove' that you were right to be suspicious... and you will do it over and over and over and over... and never be happy

[IsoUser]

Im not Gay so I couldn't honestly answer your questions

[Jamie05rhs]

Stop dating assholes!

[RuthlessAggression]

Don't worry about the small stuff

[Anonymous]

life lol