Relationships

To me, friends and relationships are the song Nutshell by Alive in Chains. Where do I go from here?

If you haven't heard the song, I recommend giving it a listen, in my humble opinion it's the saddest song ever recorded. Anyways, I've opened up and given my heart to 3 women. All of them have broken it. The 1st one, my first real love and relationship was the worst. Cheated on me after a year together, I moved to be with her and gave up a good job on top of that. I gave everything I had... and it wasn't enough. I've moved 14 times in my life, I'm 27 and a dude, so not only have relationships been difficult but friendships too. My best friend who I knew for 13 years cut me out of his life after his sister expressed feelings for me and I kissed her. It was something I said I wouldn't do, I tried to apologize and bury the hatchet and try to move on but he said I either "fight him (30 yr old dude with a wife he cheated on the week he was getting married, a secret I'm ashamed I knew for so long and didn't tell her , and a daughter with another on the way... at the time) for 3 minutes... or we never speak again." I thought that was juvenile and dumb so I said to contact me after a month if he wanted to calm down and speak like grown men. Welp, never heard from him again. All the friends I've made through my life have mostly all but vanished, even the ones from high school I thought would last a lifetime. Now I live in the middle of nowhere Missouri with my parents, just a guy trying to land back on his feet after a solid 5 years (2018 - 2023) of shit sandwiches from my old hometown I had to get away or that desert town of vice and sin was gonna kill me. But now I'm just so... isolated. I have no close friends. I work a job I've told everyone there that I'm gone once I've saved up enough money to move away and in fairness they all understand, ain't no need for fire protection in the middle of nowhere. I'm sad I don't have love when it seems everyone around me has loved ones and kids and friends... what's the point of letting people in when most people just hurt you?

To me, friends and relationships are the song Nutshell by Alive in Chains. Where do I go from here?
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