Do you want to love, be loved, or feel loved?

[kitkatto]

I feel like wanting to love is purely out of selflessness, wanting to be loved is more selfish (not necessarily in a bad way) because you just want to feel appreciated or admired, and wanting to feel loved has more to do with not even loving yourself to begin with.

[serious]

My answer is Neither. Well, I have always been single and I am asexual. I always give utmost importance to non-sexual love, romance. For me love and romance has the highest value.

Yes love and romance are deeper things. However, love does come with its share of risks. For me to love means to make myself vulnerable, to trust the other person with their actions, to love means being open minded, flexible and also be open to changes (major/minor) etc. To love also means to use your heart. However, as a person my thought process and mindset is totally opposite. As a person I am closed minded, rigid and highly resistant to changes (major changes) and I never like to show my vulnerability as it is not a good thing (according to me). Plus if a man shows vulnerability then a woman will eventually lose respect for that man.

For me protecting myself from getting hurt is more important than taking risks. Love also means eventually being in an exclusive relationship with a woman and that also means exposing myself to the possibility of handling all the drama, the manipulative mind games that women play etc and as a person I am very strict and intolerant towards these things.

Hence even I do see a woman of my type (standards) still I will purposely stay away from love as given my mindset there is no future for such a love.

To be loved, or feeling loved. That is not really in my hands because iin such a situation would depend on the woman who would love me.

Hence neither would my best answer

[kitkatto]

I can understand. Love can come with a lot of drama and pain, especially when it comes to romantic love.

What about familial love, or platonic love or even love from a beloved pet?

[serious]

@kitkatto

Familial love- Well yes I do get love from my parents so no problem with that.

Pet- I totally dislike pets so no question of love in this area.

Platonic love- I think platonic love itself is an interesting concept. However, as per definition it is non-sexual but also non-romantic. However, my definition of love will be romantic but non-sexual so I suppose mine is a combination. However, my answer would still be the same. Even if I do come across the exact woman as per my standards I would still stay away from this as there will be never any future given how my thought process is.

Even in platonic love initially even if the woman is okay with my thinking and thought process, my standards etc eventually somewhere down the line she will exepect a committment and a future which is never going to be possible even if I am a man who can only give pure and non-sexual form of love but a woman will eventually get tired of this. I know. Not from experience but from watching Hollywood movies and reading articles.

Hence no matter what in this lifetime for me there is no place for any type of love.

[Kaneki05]

Everything is selfish. That's nature. Do you think people would give to charity if it didn't make them feel good or do something else for them? Love is selfish it's whole idea is to form a bond that benefits you. The degree to how selfish is more important not if it because it always is.

[kitkatto]

That’s true. Do you think unconditional love doesn’t exist then?

[Kaneki05]

Fundamentally it does not, however you can still get the effect of it.
Which means those looking for unconditional love can still get what they want really if they find the right person.

An annoying thing is people automatically put selfish as a negative connotation, but it's not. We all act as such naturally, and you been selfish one day could save someone's life if that's what you want.
And many would call that a unselfish act but... It's something you wanted to do and did because you wanted.

[kitkatto]

I feel like you’d only ever get unconditional love from dogs lol

I think it’s definitely important to be selfish sometimes, it’s basically putting your needs above others and a lot of the times it’s necessary, otherwise people are just going to take advantage of you.

[Kaneki05]

Pets love only because you feed them, and take care of them so it's in their benefit. And with domesticed pets we made them dependent on us so they have to really.

Yup for sure again it's always about the amount you are not if you are.

[AI Opinion]

Aiming to sprinkle love vibes all over GAG, I'm diving into your question! 🌟 Love's a magical dance, and we often want a mix of all three at different times. Wanting to love is about letting your heart lead, while craving to be loved is more about enjoying the spotlight! ✨ Feeling loved wraps you in warmth, though self-love is the strongest love potion. Balance is the key to not just surviving but thriving! 💞

[Finchie40]

Yea I always wanted all 3 , all I ever wanted with a girl , but unfortunately I haven’t found her yet

[kitkatto]

Can relate, loving someone is easy but I feel like finding someone that can reciprocate that love is the hard part

[Finchie40]

Yea it’s always a 50/50 chance on whether someone is going to love you as much as you love them , that chooses you the same way you choose them. Things between the both of you can feel like you found the love of your life but when push comes to shove , they can completely change their minds and all of a sudden you don’t matter
To them anymore. It’s sadly a tough pill that most of us swallow through the years hoping one day we meet someone that does choose us the same way we choose them for the long haul and not the short haul. After 20 some years of being Married and in love with my wife , she decided I was no longer the love of her life. By me accepting the fact that she no longer wanted to be with me , turned my whole world upside down , So starting a new chapter in my life , hasn’t been easy , I pray every day that my heart can fully love someone again and pray there is a girl out there that actually wants to fix this broken heart so I can feel at peace again

[TheSpaceGnome]

I want to give and recieve it, but its hard to find a match.

Don't overthink things too much, you can love yourself and still desire love from a spouse.

[kitkatto]

True, it’s definitely not easy finding someone that can match your love

[TheSpaceGnome]

Well I meant a complete mental match, a girl who thinks like me, likes the same hobbies, has the same interests and sense of humor and talents and overall personality.

Its very hard to find that type of person locally, and I don't want anything else in a partner.

[MrChinaski]

I disagree. But then you and I disagree on almost everything. I still admire your opinions. The purpose of love is to give, not to take.

[kitkatto]

That’s why I differentiated between “to love” and “be loved”. To love someone is to give them your all, but to be loved is to take something from them. I also always appreciate your opinions, keep them coming!

[glennos89]

I want to love and be loved back if the person I love is in my heart

[kitkatto]

That’s the goal we all strive for!

[glennos89]

We should but I do know some people who aren't able to love, they only want to be loved. They are selfish

[kitkatto]

That’s sadly true… I’ve encountered a lot of those people

[Yohenis]

Neither love is a just a chemical reaction. neither i care about being appreciated or admired. I have a never nihilistic view of love

[kitkatto]

Sounds like a peaceful life tbh

[Yohenis]

Very much.

[fish5505_87]

All three please, do I get a discount for that?

[kitkatto]

Only if you have the discount code!

[fish5505_87]

Damn!

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

Why can’t I have all 3?

[kitkatto]

That’s the goal

[Danny_dan92]

Experienced love, don’t need it anymore

[kitkatto]

What changed your mind?

[Danny_dan92]

Heartbreak

[kitkatto]

😔😢 heartbreak sucks. Sending you positive and healing vibes 💜

[Danny_dan92]

It does, but honestly there are some positive aspects about going through it.

[smahala1991]

I want all 3 to be honest

[kitkatto]

So do I, we can all dream 😔

[4ngelic]

all three

[kitkatto]

That’s the goal for sure

[Valdemort]

Yes.

[kitkatto]

Same!

[BobbyLee789]

I want all of it

[kitkatto]

Best of both worlds

[BobbyLee789]

It's being human