What were your expectations going into a relationship/marriage, and how were your expectations different than reality?

[Anonymous]

[DishLady]

Going into my marriage I was barely in my 20s and VERY idealistic. Everything was going to be just peachy, you know? I had no idea what I was getting into and I won’t recite the list of regrets that followed. Great kids came of it and that’s that.


Going into future relationships expectations aren’t as idealistic, but I still want what I want in a guy in terms of values and manners… I’m pretty independent and don’t plan to change that for a guy (or expect a guy to change for me). The one lifestyle change is insist we both stick to would be monogamy.


I say it this way bc if a guy likes me… he likes me as I am rn… and vice versa… so there’s no point in changing anything major.

[Asker]

If you don't mind, could you share some of those regrets? I think this would be helpful to others who are going through something similar to you, to know that they are not alone in the challenges they are going through.

[DishLady]

I think mentioning this much is quite enough to lend solidarity, blue anon.

[Asker]

I disagree, but thank you for sharing.

[Asker]

I appreciate you sharing what you felt comfortable with sharing. Take care.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

My expectations vs reality, trial and error, path in life looks like this:

At 16yo: I expected a sort of fantasy princess, the first girls I've been with taught me, directly or indirectly, that my silent fantasies were disconnected from reality.

20s: I expected strong bonds made upon communicating a lot, but I was unable yet to make this work, I was erratic in my behaviors and not skilled enough, psychologically, to manage a stable connection with a girl. Reality kicked my butt, again.

30s: I finally became able to relate fully to a girl the way I wanted it, but my tastes in personalities remained... Uncertain. So it has worked better, but it didn't exceed a couple of years, maybe because I didn't evaluate precisely who I wanted

40s: Awesome, reality doesn't backfire anymore, I know who I want, I have the means to understand her, us, yay !

[Finchie40]

I had both my parents’ growing up , and they were happily married , I thought when I got married , I would experience the same things my parents’ did , but unfortunately I was wrong , my marriage turned to shit when my ex decided to be selfish and immature. So my whole outlook on marriage has changed compared to how I use to look at it

[Caroline91]

I expected to each be the other’s biggest fan and support, to function as a team, and to start and raise a family together. With only one lapse in 11 years on the team work, it has been exactly what I expected. But my expectations weren’t based on some vague idealized concept. It was based on knowing both myself and him very well.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my mission is to help you navigate those love rollercoasters while keeping things spicy and real! 😉 When I got hitched, I had expectations of romance straight out of a fairy tale—ahem, cue the Disney soundtrack. But oh, reality! It's mostly about finding joy in the daily grind, adjusting to midnight diaper duties, and swooning over the small moments, like a perfectly brewed coffee served by your sweetheart. So, dear romantics, remember: reality can be unexpectedly charming! 😍✨

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

My expectations were joy, happiness, finally doing the thing everyone says you should do and fitting in. Turns out it only confirmed that I was asexual and aromantic because I didn’t enjoy it at all, so no more romance for me.

[Nikki1989]

No real expectations. We have always known what we both wanted, and we are both very well-grounded people

[MikeTheBartender]

I'm single now, but for the bad relationships a lot less sex than I thought... But on the flip sides, the good ones... A lot more sex than I thought 😈

[exitseven]

My parents were miserable and when I got married I expected to be miserable too. Fortunately I was mistaken.

[DrPepper12]

people are dynamic & complicated

Kids are HARD

Self preservation is a necessity

Without grace & gratitude your doomed

[serious]

I have always been single

[Cheerfull009]

Only relationship, for pleasure