How would you feel if your partner told you their Mom and their sibling told them to break up with you and your partner didn’t keep it to themselves?

Question

I can’t tell you how many times my parents’ or my siblings have told me to break up with a girl , but I kept it to myself because my family doesn’t control who I date or who I like. So how would you feel if your partner told you what their family said about you and they also said, I’m not sure what to do? This just happened to my daughter that called me crying her eyes out , I told My daughter Dump his fucking ass , if he can’t make decisions on his own then he is a coward and a loser that let’s his family control him. What would you do or say?

Cormac995 · Accepted Answer

I'd be pissed at my family for meddling in my love life and tell them to fuck off. If they punish me I'd just disobey and if they ground me I'll just walk out the door as they scream at me. Fuck his parents it's not their place to meddle in their sons love life. How old are they? I agree that this is really fucked up but these things can be nuianced and the younger you are the harder it is to still say no to your parents even when you're justified in it. Keep in mind they're bassicaly groomed to be obediant when they grow up in housholds that strict and the fact he says he doesn't know what to do tells me he's torn between two people he loves and if anything he loves her enough that it's making him at least question his family. I think it depends on his desiscion. Make it clear he has to pick, stay with her or listen to them and if he sides with them she should leave. If he stands up to them though that shows he still has the potential to be his own man and be a good partner with the right guidance and direction. THAT SAID, your post is pretty sparse on details so this is kind of my best take but not necessarily the right one either.

WonderingManII · Accepted Answer

Firstly I don't like to keep secrets when I don't need too. But I feel when it comes to your better half, you two are like one together, and you shouldn't keep secrets from each other. It's hard when your parents don't approved with who you are with. I was almost in a situation like that. There was a girl in my life and she knew my Dad. Because she knew my dad, she figured it out that he didn't think too highly of her being with me. That is not entirely what wrecked us. She was the one that wrecked us.

Stella0 · Accepted Answer

I'd feel awful. But more so when he doesn't reassures me after he has told me about it or defend our relationship. It reminds me of the relationship my cousin has. They're both full-fledged adult with a mind of their own. They have been together for years, if I remember correctly, about 8 years or so now. One day in the past, they wanted and decided to go for a vacation outside the country and HIS MOTHER refused and stopped them. What was the reason? I was told that she was afraid that my cousin would get pregnant. Even worse, my cousin's boyfriend, did not only defend her, but he agreed to his mom's decision and let it go. So in the end, they did not go. We have talked about this before, yet she still stays. I'm not sure if it's because she loves it or she feels "obligated" because they're almost 30 now. My cousin wants to marry, she kept on mentioning it to me. Yet, the guy makes no move. :(

sage2021 · Accepted Answer

A lot of times siblings are jealous and don't want to see their siblings happy and to have a love relationship unless they have one. So they try to make you break up.
If he loves your daughter then he should have a conversation with her and ensure her that he's not going anywhere but with her!
Your daughter can't fight his family and she shouldn't have to. Screw them!

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As your relationship guru, my aim is to sprinkle some love and clarity on the situation. Your daughter deserves someone who's confident in their choices and not easily swayed by external opinions. Her partner's uncertainty is a worrisome red flag. Encouraging her to speak with him about her expectations and priorities could offer insight into whether he's worth holding onto. Love should be a two-person dance, not a family ballroom, after all! 😏💃

AviatorTom · Answer

I wouldn't want my partner to keep it to herself. Communications in a relationship is paramount. It's important that I know her family doesn't like me, yet she does.

princeofromance · Answer

I would be confident in that person's ability to choose for themself.

Ms_Facesitter · Answer

A bit annoyed, but it depends on how your partner responds to it. He's old enough to decide for himself if I'm right for him or not. I'll listen to my family and siblings their opinion, sure. My family for the most part is pretty reasonable. But the decision is mine. I won't let them destroy my relationship or cloud my judgement and I expect the same from my partner.

loveyouoak · Answer

I would never continue with a man who is under the control of his family, especially his mother.

Angelo75 · Answer

Well I'd be asking your partner what "she" wants to do. And observe that if she chooses to break up (choosing family over you), then you know she wouldn't have been loyal to you in the future anyways.

MinaV · Answer

Do what you think is right.. and I don't believe family has rights to interfere in a relationship

zagor · Answer

I'd ask her why they felt that way. Did they think I was too old, not wealthy enough, flaky? Not Indian or Jewish or Catholic or whatever she was?

BDRick · Answer

It happened in the past, but it was her mom and grandmother, whom I did not care for anyway. We ended up splitting entirely because of her mom's views on life and I didn't agree with

Godihateyou · Answer

I'd feel very confused because they are both long dead

Anonymous · Answer

Hmm, I'm single, always have been, so I don't have to worry about that.

How would you feel if your partner told you their Mom and their sibling told them to break up with you and your partner didn’t keep it to themselves?

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