If you are going to break up with someone, would you tell them or let them find out on their own?

I've ghosted a lot of people, might as well say most of them. Some were mutual splits, others we just didn't keep in contact so technically we ghosted each other. Some were so persistent that no matter how many times I said no they kept coming and just ignored what I said. Others got so possessive that it actually freaked me out and scared me a little.
But yes I would tell him as long as we were fully dating.
I can see persistent people can be a bother, or those that stalk you, or even tell you if they can't have you no one will. Yeah, they can be scary as those are the guys you have to worry about.
As a person who has been lied to for 6 fucking years. Definitely tell them from the very beginning what your intentions are. Do not waist peoples precious time, because you are too afraid of admitting you don't want to be with them anymore. I would rather someone tell me it as soon as they feel like they want out.
After the 2nd lie I would have been out of there. Why do some people put up with that?
Well the main lie was about loving me and I didn't realize it was a lie until he finally admitted it 6 Years later. Small white lies I can live with though.
we... with the girlfriends I had, we always talked through about these things... they were mutual decisions and it was for the best, we came to terms with things and ended in good terms as well...
but, it takes two grown ups to do that kind of stuff, and not everyone is.. . and sometimes, situations get way more complicated so it's pretty much impossible to do something about it
There can be several reasons why someone would break up with someone else with out telling them. I have noticed that one of the most common reasons someone does it that way is that they are not good at handling conflict, and thus try to avoid it at all costs.
No, it's not a good way to handle that situation, and yes, it is cowardly.
I can see that some people try to avoid conflict at all costs, even when it's to their detriment not to do so.
I have seen that happen too. They basically end up letting themselves be treated like a door mat. It is really quite sad honestly. People with that issue should seek out a good therapist, and get some CBT.
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19Opinion
Tell them straight up. People who fade out/ghost often end up hurting the person far worse and it's a cowardly thing to do. Depending on dumpee's mental state, they can tell themselves all kinds of terrible stories when they're filling the gaps as to the reason why it ended. It's best to break up to their face, give a GENTLE reason and let them go so that they can improve themselves (if necessary, and if you gave a reason in a gentle way they will be more inclined to do so) and then find someone better for them.
My piece of advise: If you are planning to break with up someone, no matter the reason: Tell them as soon as possible. Don't let it get past the point where the other person starts to realize something's off and you are not capable of coming up with a good lie. If you wanna leave them in July, do not wait until October to do it, don't tell them ''I didn't say it before because you were so happy and i didn't want to make you suffer'' you ARE making them suffer if you don't let them know soon enough. Don't waste people's time.
Tell them. Method of delivery depends on the woman since most girls react to breakups very emotionally. I had one even change the subject to avoid the conversation so that it won't happen. I've broken up by phone, in person, and, for the case described here; by a hand written letter.
Why not find out where the ex-boyfriend will be on a specific night and show up with with your new boyfriend.
There would bound to be a fight.
Depends on the person. Most people do not want put any work for the true good relationship. One way or other they take their partner for granted to the point where one want to leave other now you tell me if one person tells other what's likely to happen? There is no such thing as clean break up. Somebody is left hurt, somebody is left unheard, unfunushed emotional business is guaranteed, got closure?
Thanks for like!
Unfinished *
I would just tell them, ghosting is cowardly in my opinion and just wastes the other person's time.
I don't know if it's cowardly, some just don't like conflict. I have also read numerous times in the news where some guy lured his girlfriend that was breaking up with him to meet him to discuss it and she wound up dead. So I guess you would have to gauge the other's mental health to know if you would be ok doing it in person or by text/email. Best solution, don't get involved with these losers to begin with.
True safety is important so if someone was worried about theit safety they wouldn’t have to do it in person. I just thinking ghosting isn’t very nice, maybe just phone to say “hey it’s just not going to work.”
That is definitely better than ghosting. :)
Tell them and then tell them why. I'd I initiated a break up you've really done something messed up tbh
I have always told them, because if I don't... they may not understand and still think we are together.
@t-8900 Exactly!
it probably hurts less if you don't catch them cheating on you, so they should do it themselves
It is honest and noble to do it urself. Thus you show respect and have a chance to say on good terms with one another long-term.
Because we live in a time where people don't care how their actions effect others
I would break up with them face to face. why would I want to be an asshole and not give them any closure?
When I break up with somebody I tell them straight up
If I was going to break up with someone I'd just tell them. It's the manly and responsible thing to do. Not saying anything is being a coward
Win, lose or draw, do it person. Gently but in person.
Social media allows for anti-social behavior.
Not all new technology is good for society.
Because they are cowards and don’t care about someone’s feelings , instead of just telling you
You tell them. nicely.
Id just tell them. Why play games?
Absolutely tell them, and preferably in person
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