How do you deal with unwanted advice/commentary on your relationship?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I simply grey-rock the little I receive regarding our current separation.

I don't mind talking with the few people I confide in, but I just plainly ignore people who talk or comment just because they feel they have to, or plainly just want to gossip - people who say stuff like "Surely you and/or her must have done something" "Think of the children"; and even someone who's seemingly taken grave offense at the fact there's no drama and now is spinning the gossip that we were having a "sham marriage" just to get our money and inheritances from our families.

I just say it's a moment of transition but whatever will happen will be for the best.

Updates

1 y

Pretty much the only person I discuss my situation with and take advice from is my sister - we've never been close growing up, but she went through a separation and almost divorce from her husband before giving it another shot so I value her experience.

[ChristianMaeTorres]

Omg this is so frustrating for me. Especially since now a days it comes via a girl "best friend" or someone close to your s/o so it should be trusted advice but you just never know.

There is nothing more irritating than knowing that there is another woman, whom you don't know her true intentions towards your partner, and could be giving terrible advice or covertly under mining her while attempting to win a guy over.

First of all if your a man dealing with me in any sort of relations, do not confide in another woman about the inter workings of our relationship only exception being related females who are in favor of the relationship and whom sex is never a possibility between the two of you. But never give another woman an opportunity to know more about you than your s/o. That's just the reality. I always know when a man I'm dealing with is doing this because the thing about women is that they can't wait to let the other woman know of their presence and that's never a wanted behavior.

[DishLady]

Unsolicited advice is usually well intended so just smile, thank the person and move on. The more you try to explain or tell them to shove off the more of an issue you create.

[MrChinaski]

That is not my experience. But I value your posts and I am glad you have had better experiences.

[Chazmatazz269]

If i didn’t ask and you bring it up, i will 100% tell you to shut the f*ck up. If you don’t, i will physically hurt you until you beg forgiveness or someone powerful enough to stop me steps in to do just that.
There are those who think that’s rude or over the top. I think offering unsolicited advice is rude and continuing to do so despite being warned to stop is over the top. If you don’t want to fight, shut the f*ck up. Otherwise we’re fighting. That is 100% of your choice in the matter.

[HawkPerception]

I don't deal with it well. I walk away when I can, but sigh and roll my eyes when I can't. And if they continue to go on and on about it, I can get pretty easily triggered and start raising my voice.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating unwanted advice during a relationship transition can be like dodging raindrops in a storm, but you've got your umbrella of wisdom ready! 🌂 Your approach to grey-rocking is solid gold. People often project their own insecurities or misunderstandings onto others, so keep focusing on your growth and well-being. It's your relationship, your story, not anyone else's business. Gossip? Let's turn the drama dial to zero and dance to your own tune. Keep shining, superstar! ✨

[LiaRaven]

I wouldn’t listen and keep thinking about unicorns 🦄

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Depends on who is giving them, if it's a friend, they know I'm not into unsolicited advice, so they won't be offended if I don't really listen. If this is family or random, well, I really don't listen lol. But I might pretend I did, just to get rid of them

[ItsJill]

I just ignore it.

Seems to me you are handling this gracefully and withou being bitter unlike most guys

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Thank you

[Nikki1989]

Avoid advice coming from people or trolls online that obviously have an axe to grind. Their advice is worthless and only do more harm than good.

[jshm2]

You don't. If they want to talk, let them.

You just engage in active listening to ensure you can find out who the real source is - and bury them.

[OneViewpoint]

STFU, nunya business. Is my usual response to unwanted opinions from the peanut gallery of life.

[Jamie05rhs]

Well, I'm sure you don't care what we think. But I care about you. Because I'm your friend.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Don't worry, I wasn't complaining about you or others here, I know you care and are sincere, and I wholeheartedly appreciate it my friend.

I mean people I know IRL who just gossip or butt in without any real advice/care (my mother chief among them).

[Jamie05rhs]

Okay. Thanks. :)

Ah- I see.

[Jamie05rhs]

I wish you wouldn't throw away your relationship, though. I would gladly help you if you would allow me to try. 💙

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Thank you.
As of now ball's in her court. I have to leave for the US next week, she didn't even start with the Visa process to at least come visit me.

[Sirenboobzilla]

Unless it's coming from someone who KNOWS us well, I brush it off.

[MrChinaski]

Tell them to go xxxx themselves. Unless you care about them, in which case just try and avoid them.

Your relationship, your choice.

[slatyb]

That sounds about right. All my friends are too polite for that.

[Shiprex]

Never been given any apart from she who must be obeyed so all's well

[LiamJHayden]

My friends have my back and know I have a broken picker, so to them I listen. Others I ignore.

[Valdemort]

"Sometimes I share things just to get it off my chest, not do get advice"

tell them that

[ProbablyClueless]

I most just don't ask people's opinions. And if they do give me an opinion, I just listen to what they have to say and think if I hear anything useful.

[WhitneySnow]

Same as you. I just ignore it. I hope your current situation works out the way you want it to.

[NicholasRedone]

@Sun_Kim-Ai I open GAG 📱 👀 scroll scroll scroll 📜

[Anonymous]

I never actually had a relationship, so I don't have to worry about that.

[AviatorTom]

I ignore it, simple.

[RedInnocent69]

Usually ignore it, sometimes to my detriment