Is it a relationship-ending situation when your boyfriend looks at another girl, or is it just human nature?

Question

Let's say your boyfriend is looking at another girl while you're there. He doesn't say anything inappropriate, but you see his eyes wandering around. Some people say it's harmless and part of being human. Others think it's a sign of disrespect, especially in a serious relationship. Do you think this behavior is a red flag or something to ignore?

Lliam · Accepted Answer

It's more like people watching.

Every woman looks and dresses different. Some are definitely worthy of appreciation, but if a guy is loyal to his partner, looking doesn't mean that he is interested in anyone else.

I see women as works of art. It seems dishonest to pretend that you can't appreciate a beautiful women. I mean, you don't ignore other forms of art or sunsets, landscapes, flowers, or cute animals.

I'll admit that I notice some women, even when I'm with my wife. She gets it and doesn't get jealous. She understands why men find women attractive.

We have been walking along the beach and noticed beautiful women in bikinis roller skating/blading toward us on the boardwalk. We both turn our heads as she skates past and watch her sashay away thinking, she sure does jiggle and bounce.

One time, we were on a ferry in San Francisco Bay. A sailboat came very near and two young women lifted their bikini tops to flash our boat. My wife grabbed my arm and pointed so that I wouldn't miss the show.

One time, we stopped at a frozen yogurt shop near a lake. There were four people in front of us who looked to be in their late teens. The girl right in front of us was wearing a beach top that only came down to the top of her ass. She must have been wearing a thong because her particularly lush, white ass looked completely bare.
My wife and I both looked at each other with astonishment. Then, with no one looking, I reached out and mimed squeezing that bountiful female flesh. My wife and I both chuckled silently at each other.

There are other times when we are in a store or walking down the street and see a particularly noticeable woman. She might have lovely bare legs, be wearing something tight that shows off her ass, or she might have big boobs with cleavage on display. She might be noticeable because of her figure or because of her clothes. Sometimes we look at each wide-eyed and/or suppress a chuckle..

But, again, my wife knows that I love her and am loyal.
I married her 29 years ago because she was beautiful. I love her body. But I chose her for so many other reasons, too. I chose her to be my wife forever and ever. I love her and wouldn't trade her for the world. And I would never do anything to hurt her.

lightbulb27 · Accepted Answer

its human nature.

it helps that your boyfriend learns to value you and devalue the other women, that will counter balance the issue.

I used to love chocolate cake... serious, I was an addict to really any cake. and if I saw it, I wanted it. the fact it made me feel ill after and pass out was not relevant, I knew the taste.

ya see, things change... and you learn. I can look at a woman now and rarely, but sometimes, they look good. But I also know the pain and misery they cause, they are humans and can be very wrong or painful. Add to it, I want to love honor and respect my wife, whom I value. I turn my mind to the spiritual, of salvation, or turn the other way. Its work.

So that puts things in proportion.

Now if he isn't that mature, then you've got a problem. That is life though, working problems. You have to decide if you can manage him and his issues because I guarantee, we all have them and have to learn to manage ourselves.

An easy step, is turning off online junk. But even that is difficult becuase I innocently will go to youtube to look for videos on stuff.. gardening, airplanes, etc.., but get slobbered with fake AI chicks photo marketing clickbiait and such. It's a difficult world to live in when we cannot manage what is being thrown at us. Can we turn off the computers... probably not, we have to manage our addicted and susceptible brains.

or go to the monestary, but dang that looks lonesome.

There's a reason muslims cover up women. And Mohammed threw a right hook on this issue long ago...

So give your girl friends a good slap in the face...

https://www.youtube.com/embed/7Np2-tehqUQ

ShellyB · Accepted Answer

I think it is a sign of trouble, it may not actually end the relationship but it is something to discuss and hopefully something he can avoid.

In one of my unhealthy relationships he would discuss girls he liked with me and what he liked about them and then later he would have me point out girls I thought he would consider sexy, which I did, it was so weird, I was checking out other girls all the time due to this. And for the record that relationship was a mistake and it ended in disaster.

Apple1996 · Accepted Answer

I dont put up with wandering eyes. There are men who can control themselves and not do that. Its not worth it for me to stay with some loser who creeps on women in public. Its disgusting even if a single guy is doing that let alone a taken guy doing it is 1000% worse. If my man ever did that hed be dead to me and out of my life

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship guru, diving into the world of wandering eyes, huh? 🌟 Take a deep breath and look at the bigger picture. It's pretty natural for eyes to wander occasionally, but the key here is trust and respect in your relationship. If his glance turns into consistent gawking or makes you uncomfortable, communication is the secret ingredient. Understanding each other's boundaries can turn this little bump into a stepping stone rather than a red flag highway! 👀❤️

Finchie40 · Answer

It’s disrespectful , but it’s only bad , if they try to get their attention , that’s when you should be concerned , or if they are constantly looking at the other person and trying to make eye contact with them , then that can be a reason to reconsider your relationship with them. as well. This goes for Guys’ and Girls’ that have wandering eyes

SteveSmith1985 · Answer

I think it's somewhere in the middle. It certainly shouldn't be relationship ending. But at the same time, its disrespectful, and you shouldn't ignore it. It's something a guy can make a point to not do. It's fair to ask him to make a point not to check out other girls... in front of you. That's a reasonable ask.

Chazmatazz269 · Answer

If she wants to end it because i look at other women, it’s definitely not worth fighting for her. There’s nothing one can do to eliminate another person’s insecurities, and i won’t be treated like a cheater simply because i have eyes.

Rei13 · Answer

If he happens to notice someone else I don’t care, but if he’s full on staring then that’d be awkward/uncomfortable

Purpleronnie · Answer

If that behavior warrants or signals the relationship ending then I clearly I and many other guys don’t “ belong “ in a relationship.

What an absurd thought though , that just because a woman or man “looks” at another this means that suddenly your relationship is under threat.

There are always going to be someone , taller , thinner , more attractive ( not just physically) , funnier , smarter , happier , wealthier , calmer , stronger … etc etc than YOU !!!

WHAT ARE PEOPLE SUPPOSED TO DO? Walk around with their eyes closed? Constantly and falsely re-sure their SO that they are the only one for them … nah

People will always look and they have to expecting anything else is just ridiculous, it’s in our monkey brains to be this way by design

RavVid · Answer

You are going to have a hard time stopping your guy doing this. Fundamentally your boyfriend likes women's bodies since he is with you and he wouldn't be if he didn't like yours.

So right from the get go, you're struggling against nature. In summer I might sit at a street cafe table consciously intending to admire girls passing by. It is entertainment.

But it goes deeper than that. I am quite sure sex circuits in my cerebellum are constantly scanning for hot girls. I know this because sometimes I become consciously aware I have an erection. Yep, a hot girl walked past me in the street that I didn't consciously notice but my primal sex circuits sure did.

That part of our brain is our unconscious mind and contains the instinctive mind. The four F's - Feed, Fight, Flee, Fuck. Also sometimes called the reptilian brain.

We are not at fault because it is unconscious.

Keyboardkat · Answer

I think it's human nature. However, a guy really should have enough brains to do his looking when she's not around! How would YOU feel if the girl you cared about was always looking at other guys, like she wished she were with one of them instead of with you?

Geo1970 · Answer

To a certain degree, it’s human nature as women also do it as well.

I do think that both male and female need to restrict themselves to a certain degree, of not making it so obvious!

Also, you will find that women look at other women, and men look at other men. This I personally, or at least I believe, is just out of pure jealousy as to how both individual females and males look etc.

andreasderjuengere · Answer

We men are wired to look when a view is offered. I do sometimes wire-look and regret it instantly.

Too much self constraint her may be seen in our body language and interpreted as a negative indicator. But it of course makes a difference if I openly slobber, or if I just glance around.

The best answer is clarity: if the girl I'm with knows and also believes that I am ''innocent'', then she will know that she's safe.

EmmaMary · Answer

It's purely human nature... Thoroughly stupid and childish to think any other way.

avery58 · Answer

It's human nature, but he shouldn't make a habit of it. It happens here and there, but if he does it on purpose then it would seem disrespectful.

SuperZonicGUY1992 · Answer

Let me tell you what's disrespectful , When you go on a date with a woman.

You want to enjoy a nice quiet peaceful evening dinner. Out of no where you're date decided to act up weird shows up with her maga hat and start talking about Trump and how amazing a job he is doing. I'm done.

I do not date racist biggot Karen's!

alice55 · Answer

I would look at him and lift my brow I mean I'm a very attractive girl so I would wonder why he's looking at girl that are less attractive than me xD

Shiprex · Answer

Do you look at other people? Do you discuss things about your boyfriend with others? It's nor abnormal to see and look at others but ignoring the person you're with IS rude so THAT would be the red flag you need to speak to him

chrissykerdock · Answer

how about your at a party and he invites her into his room to give a blowjob and she agrees and blows him

Nikki1989 · Answer

No harm in looking, and almost all men do it to a point. It is when they are jacking off to porn or having sex chat with other women that your relationship is doomed.

red-lipstick-girl · Answer

I can't forgive a situation that ends a relationship.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Neither. It’s annoying but not something I’d break up over unless he did it all the time really blatantly.

beenherebefore · Answer

It's human nature but if it is something that bothers me I would tell him so he's aware of how it makes me feel when he checks other women.

PeachyPie93 · Answer

I dont mind a glance but to turn and do a double take in front of me would not be acceptable

jeta33 · Answer

It’s usually just human nature. Noticing someone attractive doesn’t necessarily mean disloyalty or lack of love—it’s a normal, instinctive reaction.

Babygirl_S · Answer

Animals like baboons lack morals. Humans have morals

Kelly6 · Answer

@avery58 Eyes are for looking, you can't control human biological nature.

soe11 · Answer

It is because chemistry different. You have to sort them out.

genericname85 · Answer

"looking" is fine. touching isn't.

blackeagle007 · Answer

It’s people in general that check out others. Not down to one species. My ex once said to me “you can look, don’t touch”

Anonymous · Answer

Let me ask you this... have you ever looked at another guy or have you every looked at another guy and thought he was handsome or charming or witty or funny or provocative or endearing?

noohair · Answer

Women don't understand the caveman brain. It is the caveman brain and it is subconscious.

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I personally don't think it's a problem, but since you do then he should stop it for your sake.

RedInnocent69 · Answer

No, it’s just human nature. It’s more dysfunctional to try to hide it from your partner

SamWinchester058 · Answer

How should he feel if you are looking at other men? Honest question. Not an I got ya.

wkhan_87 · Answer

Depends on how much he is interested in others besides you

Anonymous · Answer

Looking is not relationship ending. It's human to look, it's bad to do anything beyond looking.

DevotedWarrior4Venus · Answer

Just "moid" nature, if you suspect he wanders, lock him up.

DryGermanGuy · Answer

Sir Sean Connery.

DrPepper12 · Answer

Lol. Rookie. Just don't get caught fool!

Shortkay4568 · Answer

Not really I also look

Anonymous · Answer

I think it's just human nature.

exitseven · Answer

Guys are gonna look

Tom567456 · Answer

Just a look?

Anonymous · Answer

Human nature.

Is it a relationship-ending situation when your boyfriend looks at another girl, or is it just human nature?

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