Are you afraid to grow up?

[IHaveRespawned]

I am 30; my fiance is 27. We are both afraid to grow up. I told her we are in this together.

We both are highly dependent on our parents. We are also each other's first real relationship.

Sometimes I wonder if I can really hold the fort down and be the man I need to be.

Yes

No

See poll

[Anonymous]

Honestly no I was never afraid of growing up. I think I did a lot as a young man growing up that made it easier for me to transition into growing older. I joined the military right out of high school. I think it just fine tuned me more as far as more discipline on top of what my parents had already instilled in me. As I e gotten older things aren’t as dramatic as they were when I was younger. You learn to say fuck it to a lot of things that don’t even affect you, like all these people protesting. I focus on what I can control. At your age I won’t say I was the same as I am now, so I get how you feel to a degree. It too I was always the type that I wanted to be on my own when I was old enough. But as you get older things get easier. I feel as though men are much happier when they’re older, women not so much. One thing that has helped me was enacting behaviors from men who were in my life that I thought was beneficial. So to take from a number of men things that I felt would help improve my life certainly did. I find as I worry less things tend to work out, especially w finances. But these days I’m financially a lot better, but as most young men in their early years most of us are broke, barely making it check-to-check. Do you both work? Why the need to still be dependent on your parents?

[IHaveRespawned]

She works in food service. I was a software developer attempting to get back into the workforce and get off disability, but I had too many failed work attempts and the government was trying to take my disability and Medicare away when my mental health was deteriorating again, so I just had to lay down in order to protect my one and only health insurance. Our parents are helping us out right now. I am trying to explore my options.

[Opinion Owner]

I see. I can understand that. So does your finance take care of a majority of the bills? If so is she ok w that? You two ever thought of trying to build something together financially that would set you both up to not have to work for someone else?

[IHaveRespawned]

We have plans to potentially start our own business. It has been incredibly rough in the tech industry for software devs. She does not live with me full time yet. She helps a little with some things, but I also treat her to meals and things too. We both have a home arranged.

[Opinion Owner]

I see. Well just make sure you discuss these things before hand. Most women want a man to take care of a majority of things. Some women say they would do it but overtime they get tired of being the one to take care of most of the financial obligations. You don’t want this to be the reason why you divorce. Most divorces are usually over money.

[Genie23]

I was afraid to grow up when I became a teenager and started noticing changes in myself as I wasn't ready. I liked being a kid. After that, never.

[Apple1996]

I had to grow up fast so there was no time to be afraid

[IHaveRespawned]

Yeah, you had children very early in life. Me and my fiance are trying to outgrow "adolescence" in our late 20s/early 30s.

[AI Opinion]

My mission here is to help you navigate all things relationship, and this one's a classic conundrum. Growing up can be scary, but it's also filled with excitement and opportunity! 🚀 It’s lovely that you have each other to tackle adulting with. Dependence on parents is normal, but gaining independence together can be exciting! Think of it as a duo superhero team-up, learning and growing side by side. You've got this, and love is your secret weapon! ❤️

[TheSpaceGnome]

Your passions and interests and hobbies as a child and teen are still yours as an adult.

Families should pass down households and wealth generationally, through a family business and inheretences.

You are grown up, expecting every generation to start from scratch or give up their passions in adulthood, is absurd.

[DonaldDarko]

I hear that to grow up I need to be in a relationship with a woman and have children. Fuck that shit.

[IHaveRespawned]

Getting married, and especially having children, does appear to be that moment where one "has to grow up" at that point. It does cause some nervousness and anxiety.

[douride2]

No not really. I have been this way going on 30 years now.

[Kingofkings1992]

Well, I’m already there. So whether or not I’m afraid would be kind of irrelevant at this point.

[SkimmingDetective]

Adulting is a conspiracy, said a wise person

[BCRanger10]

No. I already more or less have.

[Lilly1979]

No afraid what at the end.

[Anonymous]

Nah, I just don't like it...

[ambitious_male]

Nope, I am not.

[Tom567456]

Never have