I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t really like me. What should I do? Any advice?

Question

Lately, I often get the vibe that my boyfriend is annoyed or tired of me. For example, today I was excitedly explaining the ending of a movie I loved, and he interrupted me mid-sentence saying, “You’re really mansplaining this,” but it didn’t feel like a joke. I immediately shut up and felt like an idiot.

This kind of thing happens a lot he calls me out for being too loud, talking too much, or being annoying. I know I can be loud or chatty, especially when I’m excited. Maybe I am too much for him, or maybe this is normal in relationships and I’m just reading too much into it.

I try not to make him feel bad about his annoying habits because I accept him as he is, but I don’t know if I should expect the same acceptance in return. I worry that if he’s already annoyed after 3 years, what will happen in 10? I just don’t want us to become one of those couples who constantly snap at each other.

Is this normal? Should I talk to him about how I feel or just accept it? Am I being too sensitive?

FunkyMonkee · Accepted Answer

I know how you feel! My girlfriend just broke up with me over a joke! RATHER THAN have a civil, adult discussion over it, she decides right there on the spot that we need to break up!! So, if she's gonna be like this now, what's she gonna be like in 10 years? A few months ago, I accidentally clicked the unfollow button on her page here for LITTERALLY a second or two before I clicked it again and TOLD HER it was a mistake and she went ballistic like I did it intentionally because I wanted to break up with her!!!
Anyway, I'd SUGGEST you try to talk it through with him but, I agree!! If he's like this now... He doesn't sound like he's stable enough to be in a relationship, at least not with you. Maybe some other girl would be okay with him.
I'd also put it down partly to people of your age. I've seen and heard from so many of them recently to know that so very many of them just don't have their life's shit together to BE adults, yet!! Y'all get married on the spur of the moment after a few days or so together, divorce comes a couple years later, IF you last that long! Everything in life is completely disposable!! Don't like what you got? Throw it away and pick up a new one tomorrow!! They've never been in need (even dire need) so, they don't know how to place value on anything! Money comes WAY too easily for them and it means absolutely nothing to them!! If you get a tiny spot on your shirt, you throw it away and blow $50 on a new one!! It's the same way with relationships!! S/he said/did something I didn't like, no matter how picayune it is so, I'm gonna dump them and get a new one!
You can try talking to him but, I got a feeling it's not gonna help, in this case. He sounds too self-absorbed.

RavVid · Accepted Answer

Oh dear. Definitely DON'T talk to him about it. That pisses every guy off big time. We immediately start thinking this relationship is ending.

Another thing we don't want to talk about, is the girl's dream. I sort of think your movie monologue might have been in that category with you detailing the plot and twists & turns.

I had a talkative girlfriend once and I had to implement a no talking rule till the second coffee.

Getting more serious, I think you should reign in monologues. Dreams are monologues, relating movies are monologues. His role is limited to listening to you talk at him. With the movie it might have gone better if you said you loved it. That would have given him the opportunity to ask why and it would be have been a conversation then.

I think you need to move to conversations. My talkative ex girlfriend did have a deep seated need to talk and that might be you too. In the morning I wanted to plan my working day so I wanted to devote bandwidth to that rather than to her dream.

We all have to compromise to partners :)

Screenwriter · Accepted Answer

Three years : You've hit the relationship wall. Psychologists, etc.,, say people in relationships get to the tipping point in six months to 1.5 years..  USUALLY . There are outliers. I think you're in a relationship with one. It's taken him twice as long. If someone is constantly telling you to  NOT  be yourself around them, then, they don't like being around you, and they don't like YOU. Most bad marriages end in the first five years. I think this could apply just as well to relationships. This man IS tired of you, and clearly, doesn't like who you are.  This is a hard pill to swallow after all this time, but he's living out loud ABOUT you and his feelings toward you. It's time to get organized, sit down and talk about ending your relationship. This is likely complicated because y'all aren't kids, and you may live together, etc. So, be civil and work out the closure. You don't deserve such emotional abuse. Start packing, start looking for somewhere else to live and get away from this guy. He's acting shitty toward you because he's lazy and doesn't want to do the dirty work of calling it off. MAKE HIM. He's unhappy and is spewing venom onto you. Good luck with finding a new life and better partner. You deserve it. I'm loud and chatty too. Come from a city of loud and chatty people. Despite the hurricanes, you might consider visiting New Orleans. We LOVE loud and chatty people. It's our culture! Kisses girl!

lalalala123456 · Accepted Answer

Added my opinion to someone else’s but basically he’s an insensitive person who’s taking you for granted / doesn’t take your feelings into account.

As for others who says that you’re annoying / the problem etc., ignore those comments. Those are the very people who would be telling their partners rude things

Walk away from this

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I'm here to help you navigate the tricky waters of love and relationships. Let's dive in, love! When your boyfriend’s words start feeling more like red flags than sweet nothings, it's time for a heart-to-heart. Relationships thrive on mutual respect and understanding, not on making each other feel small. Express your feelings in a calm and honest way, and see how he responds. If you feel you're walking on eggshells, that's a signal to take seriously. Remember, a relationship should make you feel cherished, not criticized. Keep waving your vibrant flag; someone out there will love it! 😉

Finchie40 · Answer

You need to dump him and find yourself a guy that actually values you and appreciates you that doesn’t mock and criticize you for being who you are as a person , He sounds like a fucking asshole , He should be grateful that you like to talk and share things with him , having communication is important in a relationship, so do not change who you are as a person , you sound like a great girl that I would even consider dating. Your boyfriend is not the guy for you , you deserve way better than that shit

LiaRaven · Answer

Leave him if he makes you feel like that

Purpleronnie · Answer

I would say there is an underlying reason why he is being a little more sensitive and irritable and I’d go further in saying that it likely isn’t even about you.

You’re not doing yourself any favors by thinking this will get worse as your relationship lengthens because you don’t have any evidence in support of it being about your relationship.

My advice just notice verbally that “lately” he has acting differently , let him know that your there for him and generally support him.

I really don’t know why your immediate thought is that it’s about you or relationship.

Prin97 · Answer

It’s quite simple really you ask him why he has enclosed himself Off from you. Tell him this is something that you feel and if it’s something that you have done wrong, then please tell you.

In by starting these very few simple pointers, it will get to the root cause of the problem, or if there really is a problem. You might be looking into this a little bit deeper than you think, but on the other hand you might not. Just speak to the guy, then you’ll get to the root cause of what’s going on.

virgo2267 · Answer

Sweetheart… you sound like a very fun person to be around with… don’t ever let a guy tell you you’re too loud. That is not something any person should pull tell his SO.
Please look deep into your heart and see that it is never too late to find someone who truly sees you and appreciates all the fun and raw traits of your beautiful soul.

I really hope this relationship doesn’t change you or your personality… I don’t even know you but reading your post really makes me wish I could meet someone with your way of expressing your feelings.

Cheering for you.. dont ever let anyone try and change you..

YourFutureEx · Answer

Not normal. You are old enough to understand what's said in jovial manner and what's said in a serious tone.

He's gotten too comfortable in the relationship that he doesn't feel like he needs to further invest into it. Talk to him about it and see if he changes. Ask him if he dislikes you talking to him and check his reaction.

Lynx122 · Answer

You should talk to him and probably end the relationship if it doesn't change. You can't make someone be interested in you. So if he's giving these signs of it being a pain for him to listen to you then it's not gonna work out. People will always try and avoid doing things they don't like to do. And if listening to you is a chore for him then he'll try and minimize it and when he does have to do it he'll feel annoyed about it. That's not a good relationship.

Cormac995 · Answer

First off I'm really sorry he's treating you this way and yea he doesn't really like you but let me be clear based on this you aren't the problem. It's ok to be quirky and a bit excitable if he can't even be polite about this you need to leave him. He doesn't sound like a boyfriend he sounds to me like a bully that's taking you for granted. You sound really sweet you deserve better treatment then this. I encourage you to leave him and move on.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Not gonna lie you do sound like a handful.

Some people don’t like chatterboxes

And the fact that you immediately jumped to him not liking you from him not wanting to talk about the ending of a movie is a bad sign.

You can’t change who you are but you should be able to compromise just enough to meet him in the middle

Levin · Answer

Talk to him how you feel. You should be emotionally comfortable with your partner. But by the same token, you should be sure that best trauma is not influencing how you're seeing the current situation. Have you been rejected or not accepted in the past?

Shiprex · Answer

Of course you should expect the same level of respect from him but I think maybe your behaviour may be overwhelming him and he doesn't want to communicate kindly with you about it.
Avoid being treated badly by showing less enthusiasm for things you would normally do this and see his reaction. If he queries it then he's aware there's something up. If you accept his unkind treatment he may resent you for it and be even crueler.

EmmaMary · Answer

I'm absolutely positive you've asked this very same question not so long ago. And if I were your age I would be so embarrassed in even asking this question. smh

Anonymous · Answer

3 years? And this JUST started happening? Or it's always been this way?

If it was a shorter amount of time I'd ask you, "does this happen with OTHER people or just you"? But if it's REALLY a problem why would EITHER of you tolerate the other for that long? I'm surprised it hasn't been talked about (in some fashion) already.

WhitneySnow · Answer

You are not being too sensitive. He is in the wrong for treating you badly.

MannMitAntworten · Answer

Talk to him. If you don’t feel any peace after talking it out together this could be your sign that maybe this guy isn’t a good fit or you for him either.

StephanieChick111 · Answer

It sounds like you can try and talk to him about it but I would honestly find someone who does enjoy being with you. Good luck.

Nikki1989 · Answer

You dump him and find someone else. Choose more wisely next time.

SotiCoto · Answer

Hold on... hold on...  Are you saying a man seriously said "mansplaining" unironically?  How did you not dump him immediately in utter disgust?

soe11 · Answer

To be honest it's not a normal thing. You have to sort things.  If can nothing fixed then depart with peacefully

exitseven · Answer

Sometimes relationships have a expiration date. Maybe yours is coming up?

Anonymous · Answer

Mu husband is like that. I just flash my boobs and he forgets what annoyed him

lorenzomichael · Answer

Wear something sexy for him. us men are visual creatures.

Likes2drive · Answer

Seems like you need to communicate your issues with him since he’s not accepting the way you are

Hulk30 · Answer

talk to him combativeness is definitely a form of disrespect if he don't listen and adjust Divorce him

Anonymous · Answer

Talk to him and if he doesn’t seem to care about your feelings , then you leave him

Anonymous · Answer

He wouldn't be your boyfriend if he doesn't like you.

chrissykerdock · Answer

give him more blowjobs

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

You're not compatible with eachother.

Wise4myage · Answer

Dump him and move on to better things.

jahaims · Answer

You sound annoying tbh.

AndrésC64 · Answer

Find a new boyfriend.

linguistrosey · Answer

Tell him? Talk to him?

lyrem04 · Answer

Break up

Anonymous · Answer

Give him a blow job.

Chocolatetwopointtwo · Answer

leave him?

I feel like my boyfriend doesn’t really like me. What should I do? Any advice?

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