I love my boyfriend but I don't like him anymore. how should I behave?

[Anonymous]

So my boyfriend and I have been dating already for a year and in the beginning, I really used to like him. He was always texting me first, asking me out, partying together, but after becoming a couple everything changed. He started going to parties without me more than 3 times a week, he stopped being the initiator in the relationship. He is always saying that loves me and wants to be only with me and even in the clubs if someone hits up on him he doesn;t even pay attention, but the thing is I am getting annoyed. I started disliking his friends very much. At this moment, I don't even like my boyfriend. I am not breaking up with him because I am afraid that I will have no come back if I regret. Plus, at the moment I am away for 2 months and since I left he is partying 4 times a week at least. I can't manage my anger anymore, I am getting pissed whenever he says that he is going to clubs. I understand that he isn;t going there to cheat or something but come on... I am always joking with him like when you will grow up and have fun like adult people do and he answered:"why are you so against of people having fun?". This really made me feel like the most boring person ever.
So, tell me guys what should I do?

[MadeInAmerica]

I can understand if he is going out too much if you are there (even though 3 times a week isn't that bad) but now your not even there. What else do you want him to be doing?

If its not effecting your time together and its just what "the boys do" and you dont like it you will have a tough time getting him to stop.

[artie1983]

It sounds like you want to become more committed and start adulting more than he does to be honest. Maybe it is time for a chat about where your relationship goes next. Is it long term leading marriage etc or less so for him

[Asker]

according to what he says he is thinking of long term serious relationship. But i don;t even want to imagine me being his wife and he still partying somewehere.

[artie1983]

If he feels that way but you are uncomfortable with the idea whilst he is acting like he is, it sounds like choices need to be made. He either needs to cut back (or stop) the partying or as much as I hate to say it you may have to go your separate ways. Just have a really good long chat about what you both expect from the relationship and what needs to happen to make it occur

[speedzy]

He changed and isn't the same anymore... i think its not worth it to keep him... i know what you are talking about... it happend to me..

[Asker]

i feel like if i didn;t want to it would never work out to be together

[speedzy]

with him or in general?

[speedzy]

i think he is someone who Brake up uf you not accept his Kind of Life... but its not okay!
you can only be together with someone who takes time for you... in friendship and relationship..

[Asker]

yes actually, once when we had discussion he said that we were very different from each other and that is hif lifestyle and we should better break up, cause we dont understand each other.

[speedzy]

Omg thats it... and now he hurts you... Love , boys all that stuff should make fun , Happy and easy... i Know give him up hurts too... but than there is free place for someone new , better who fit to you :)

[Asker]

I dont know actually what to do, i am too connected with him and it hurts very much giving up on him, but i am also tired of being afraid of losing him, it's like being in a constant fear of losing something really precious

[speedzy]

stay he precious if you met another Nice Guy or friend and has a Nice time with him... Not sexuall but maybe a bit romantic to taste how it feels with someone who behaves hisself way better

[Kaushik8694]

Why not have a proper discussion with him? Breaking up will be a stupid thing to do. Maybe he is not insecure because he trusts that you will be with him no matter what. That is very healthy in his end. Since you are away, why don't you go partying too, and see how he reacts? You are not boring. You just want him badly. You are missing him.

[Asker]

he has no reaction if i go out. Like, when i was there with him sometimes we were going out seperately in different clubs which are near. he always wants to be with his friends whom i actually consider unserious. he is 26 and i think more about his future than he does. when i told him he said that what else he should do , stay home and get depressed? and then he said that i am always ruining his mood trying to find reasons to fight. it's like impossible to have different opinion with him

[Kaushik8694]

I know things get difficult like this. Doesn't he ever get jealous? What happens if you try to go with him on your own demand?

[Asker]

He never gets jealous, when we go out together we come at home within one hour, he is saying that he gets tired.

[Kaushik8694]

Is there anyhow that you can ask him where he wants to take the relationship to? He might be irritated by the question. But try and demand an honest answer from him.
If he is interested totally, please state your demands. You have the right to, if something is bothering you. So that, both of you can work it out together.

[Asker]

He is always saying that i can ask whatever i want he will do it for me because i am special for him, and he really did some stuff because of me. But he is a way older than me and i think about future more than he does, like he lost job and i was applying for him and writing motivation letters while he was resting after a night of partying

[Kaushik8694]

Please try leaving things to his hands a bit. He is not too at par with the present day situation it seems.

[Asker]

I don't know probably you are right

[Kaushik8694]

Please take care.

[EternalSilver]

Why didn't you guys go out more?

[Asker]

because he spends his free time with his precious friends

[EternalSilver]

Then tell him what's on the line if he doesn't stop.

[Chris1979]

find someone who is into u 100%