Have you ever had to tell your SO "you don't talk to me like that"?

[BCRanger10]

Have you ever had to tell you SO "you don't speak to me like that" if you've had a fight? What did they say and how did they respond?

[Genie23]

Once. He raised his voice and started taking out his stress/anger on me because he was frustrated with others and stressed about other things especially work. I told him to "Stop it. Don't ever raise your voice when even when you're angry and don't take it out on me. I will listen and be supportive and understanding only if you lower your voice and share what's exactly bothering you tell me without snapping at me. We can discuss but I won't be your punching bag. So, you can't do that again."

He went quite for a moment and really felt had. He apologised and never did that again. In fact he brought it up later and said he really felt bad about it and never meant to treat me that way.

[Genie23]

Don't raise your voice even when you're angry*

Quiet**

Stupid keyboard 😭

[Grond21]

That was REALLY well handled

[Genie23]

@Grond21 Thank you! I believe in setting boundaries even when you love someone. It’s necessary to be firm at times, but also to show empathy and recognise when something deeper might be going on. When someone acts out of character, it usually means they’re under stress. So I tried to be firm while also showing understanding- because that’s what I felt he truly needed in that moment.

[Grond21]

What a gift you were to him! That is a truly healthy perspective and it doesn't get better than that. I completely agree with you. sometimes great people need a boundary because they weren't raised in the best conditions and it helps them reorient. Which sounds like it's what happened with your boyfriend.

[Genie23]

@Grond21 Really appreciate it 😊 So true. He’s a really great guy, he just didn’t know how to navigate his anger. Honestly, most of the time I feel lucky because he treats me with so much respect and love, and he’s usually the patient, mature one in our relationship. So, I feel blessed.

Now, whenever he’s stressed about something, he takes a moment to calm down before coming to me and sharing. We talk about it and I show him affection.. He always feels much better after our conversation.

[Grond21]

I LOVE that!! You sound like a wonderful couple and that you bring out the best in each other.

Amazing

[Genie23]

@Grond21 😊

[midnightmoon05]

No. Not like that.
we don’t communicate that way.
even when with ex hubby during the time of divorce.. wasn’t good but not that phrase.
now even more calm with hubby. We did go through some difficult times in the beginning… now we communicate effective and lovingly.
To the kids, we may say things like, in our house, we respect one another and we use the golden rules. It’s a process but kids are much better. 😊

[molonski2]

I have said that many many times over the years , I will not be spoken down to in a personal circumstance like this.

There are numerous examples that I don't wish to reflect on by giving examples , but for the most part ( maybe 80 % ) they reacted with reason and apologised.

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

During one relationship yes, I was younger, she was quite the fiery temper. I was relatively new with such situation. With relationships and profile assessment. Well, not new anymore lol

[DishLady]

Yeah. It was disappointing.

[RavVid]

Yes I have had to. It has usually started another fight. If it happens a lot I think it is better to dump.

[worldscolide]

With my wife, never. With my ex I've had to use that, and another phrase "this stops immediately" when she was acting like a child.

But no, never my wife.

[sage2021]

No! They never called me names, never yelled at me and they were always very respectful towards me.

[Nikki1989]

Not once in almost 15 years of marriage.

[Anonymous]

Many times but my husband is loud and wild in general so he just has a mouth on him especially during a fight

[DrPepper12]

I've heard it & said it. My dignity isn't negotiable. My temper needed tempering.

[Bloodparadise]

Yeah something of the sort happened to me just recently, truth be told i learned a lesson of not disrespecting my crush..

[EmmaMary]

@BCRanger10

Thankfully Never.

[Iron_Man]

All woman if mad will cuss you out no matter how much they care for you

[EmmaMary]

@Iron_Man

Very much the same as All Men then... Touché

[Iron_Man]

@EmmaMary Yeah

[LazerBean]

Nope.

[MemeSupreme]

yeah they stop or walk away

[MemeSupreme]

they do apologize tho

[NathanDavis]

nope...

not that I could remember

[red-lipstick-girl]

I've experienced this many times.

[fonduegirl]

More people should. It fixed yellow flags

[WonderingManII]

No cause I don't have one.

[Miah06]

No..

[Anonymous]

No, I'm single, always have been.

[queenofcardio]

Never had to