Do your eyes wander when you’re in a relationship?

[Anonymous]

I know that for a majority of men, they look at other women while in a relationship but is it the same for women?

[Lliam]

Speaking for myself, I love beautiful things - landscapes, sunsets, lovely flowers, cute puppies, striking art, ... And beautiful women are no exception. They are fascinating when portrayed in paint or sculpture. And in real life, they are exquisite kinetic art. They bring joy to the world, like splashes of color in a gray cityscape or sunshine on a cloudy day. I can appreciate them without desiring them.

Sometimes my wife sees a particularly noticeable woman who maybe has a spectacular figure in a form-fitting outfit, or prominently displayed boobs. She smiles, knowing that I am admiring the view.

There have been times when walking near the beach together when a gorgeous woman in a tiny bikini roller skates/blades toward us on the sidewalk. We'll both watch her approach and then turn to watch her sashay away, then look at each other wide eyed thinking "Dang!"

One time, we were on a ferry in San Francisco Bay and a sailboat passe very close by. Two girls on the sailboat raised their bikini tops and flashed our boat.
My wife caught my arm and pointed so that I wouldn't miss it.

A while back, we stopped at a frozen yogurt shop near a lake. There were four young people ahead of us. They looked to be in their late teens or early 20s.
The girl ahead of us was wearing a beach top that only came down to the toph of her ass. She must have been wearing a thong, because is looked like her plump, round ass was completely bare.
My wife and I looked at each other in wonder. Then I reached out and motioned like I was squeezing a handful of that smooth, scrumptious booty.
Nobody else saw me, but my wife and I laughed silently at the thought.

One time we were at the Coppola winery in Napa sitting by the pool. There was a lady in the pool wearing the kind of one-piece swim suit that had a strap over one shoulder and the front went under her other arm. She was bouncing around and one of her big boobs kept flopping out (on purpose). My wife and I were highly entertained until an employee told the lady to stop.

When watching a movie, I might occasionally say "She's really cute" about an actress, meaning "She looks yummy."
My wife also knows that I have some favorite actresses. She'll jokingly say "Your girlfriend is in this movie."
There are some actors that she thinks are really hot. I tease her about them sometimes.

Also, I was always proud to be with my partners when other guys admired them. That goes for my wife.

Appreciating sights is normal. It's stupid to pretend that we don't notice.

My wife knows that I think she's sexy. We are totally loyal and adore each other. I might appreciate the sight of other women, but I'm not tempted by them. My wife is the only one I want. .

I think distrust, jealousy and sexual inhibition are unhealthy. Why be with a partner who expects you to pretend that you are blind?

[nastyb]

jealousy is healthy in relationships.
what has happened in yours is your spark is gone. This is very common in decades long marriages where the passion, spark fizzles out a bit.
Its like you both are kinda bored of each other and know you both aren't going anywhere so its safe to kinda talk about how much you want to fondle someone else.
I can't imagine anyone who is actually passionate about their partner, ever talk about such things in front of each other.

[Lliam]

@nastyb. You don't know much about reality, do you?

It's called having a mature attitude as opposed to the delusion of thinking it's disloyal if your partner is capable of seeing attractiveness in any other human form than yours.

He's thinking "Those are some nice boobs." "Wow, that ass is lush."
And you're thinking "That's emotional cheating." LOL

You will never have a lasting relationship with that silly attitude because your irrational jealousy will drive men away.

[nawtee_me]

@nastyb Jealousy is never healthy! It stems from a lack of trust and good relationships are built on trust.

[nastyb]

@Lliam

that is not a mature attitude. That just means the spark in your relationship is gone. why don't you just admit you are bored of each other?

You can definitely find other people attractive while you are out with your spouse. It is HUMAN NATURE to look at pleasant things, but OUT OF RESPECT for your partner, you never deliberately say these things of things.

Being able to think "I want to grab those boobs" can EASILY TURN INTO REALITY, if you think about it too much and if your wife has too much of a cavalier attitude towards it.

[nastyb]

@nawtee_me

Too much jealousy is not good. But a little bit of jealousy shows the relationship/ marriage is still alive. If you want your spouse enough, you wouldn't want to hear about how much your wife wants to sleep with someone else or listen to her talk about how you suck in bed compared to other men.

Sure she would never cheat on you. She is just saying those things. But those aren't nice things to hear, ain't it?

[nastyb]

@nawtee_me

Too much jealousy is not good. But a little bit of jealousy shows the relationship/ marriage is still alive. If you want your spouse enough, you wouldn't want to hear about how much your wife wants to sleep with someone else or listen to her talk about how you suck in bed compared to other men.

she would never cheat on you. She is just saying those things. But those aren't nice things to hear, ain't it?

[Purpleronnie]

Don’t know exactly what is meant by “wander” so let me do my best to answer.


I am a red-blooded virile man , my eyes see things , it’s their purpose. Sometimes while going about their daily duties as eyes they will fall upon and rest for a split second longer than they may otherwise … this may be a nice smile or a shapely figure or it maybe mutton dressed as lamb or someone who clearly doesn’t own a mirror.


This is how I’m made , whether in a relationship or not … to pretend otherwise would be ridiculous.

[Caroline91]

My husband and I give each other the leeway to look because we both have eyes and we are human. What we don't do is disrespect each other or other people by staring or leering or drooling. That's just rude and hurtful. We also tell each other regularly what we like and appreciate about the other. There's no point in being jealous... I'm the one he picked to spend his life with.

[Grond21]

This is evidence of a high trust relationship. To have a nuanced approach like this can't be done without a lot of trust between you two. I love it.

[Caroline91]

@Grond21 Yes, and I am lucky to have a very good friend who listens, reflects back to me and helps me correct course when I need to. I think you would really like him…he likes starfish, too!

[Grond21]

That is lucky indeed! Most of us can't claim we have friends like that. As a complete coincidence, I also have a friend who is wise and insightful and always gives the best advice. And starfish never leave her alone!

[DishLady]

They shouldn’t… as we’ve all mentioned a million times whenever anyone posts this question….


But they do from time to time and tbh just innocently looking without any intent to act simply isn’t something to worry about.

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the wandering eyes dilemma! As a relationship coach, I'm all about enhancing connections and understanding human behaviors. Both men and women might notice attractive people, and that's totally normal as long as it's just a glance and not a lingering gaze. The key is to focus on your partner and ensure your attention makes them feel valued and secure. Creating deeper emotional bonds is way more thrilling than a wandering eye game. Stay flirtatious, attentive, and keep that spark alive! 🔥😊

[Finchie40]

Sometimes I might see an attractive girl walk by but out of respect for my partner I don't make it obvious , Some of the girls’ I was in relationships with , would spot out another girl assuming I already spotted her , and she will say Oh, I know you are looking , when really I wasn’t , so I immediately say Who are you talking about? And then she would point out the girl , so I’d say thanks for showing me , Damn she is hot lol

[Genie23]

Never. I might think oh, they're cute but not exactly check them out of you know what I mean?

[Bklynbadboy12]

How do you know if they are cute if you dont check them out? 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Genie23]

You don't need to check them out to tell they're cute. You notice they're cute just by looking at their face. The way we do with kids and even puppies 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Bklynbadboy12]

Mmm hmmm! 🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣🤣

[Genie23]

@Bklynbadboy12 If you were my neighbour you'd have heard how often I call guys "bro" because I simply am not interested in any other guy rather than my partner. I mean, why would I? My partner is a great guy. He's smart, funny, sweet, considerate, romantic, treats me special and he's also very good looking. I have no reason to look anywhere else

[Genie23]

I'm lucky 😊

[Bklynbadboy12]

I get that but your in a relationship not dead if some is attractive to you your gonna notice. They'll always be temptation but when your in a relationship you just can't act on it

[Genie23]

@Bklynbadboy12 I don't get tempted. Maybe you feel that way because you're a guy but I'm a woman who don't find anyone attractive until I'm emotionally attached to someone

[Bklynbadboy12]

No he's the lucky one

[Anonymous]

The vast majority of people most likely do and they're probably lying to themselves if they say they don't.

What's important though is not acting on your urges. There's no such thing as thought crimes. But actually acting out on your urges is wrong and therefore a real crime, at least morally.

Most straight men and lesbian women are attracted to boobs. And most straight women and gay men are attracted to dicks. So of course they're gonna look.

The most important thing though is to be loyal to your partner no matter what regardless of any temptations.

Sometimes I do see a hot piece of ass I'd definitely have sex with if I were single, but since I'm not single and have my girlfriend, out of respect and loyalty to her, I never, not once, act out on those urges. And I couldn't be happier.

[Account]

I need to have a strong emotional and mental connection formed with someone in order to be attracted to them, people who are deemed as objectively attractive by others don't do it for me because that is not how I function. I have never been instantly attracted to anyone.
So far in my almost 34 years I have never been attracted to more than one person at the time. Heck it is pretty difficult for me to be attracted to someone in the first place.

[Anonymous]

from my experience, if your husband or boyfriend has the BALLS to stare at someone else while he is with you. It means he does not respect you. No, he does not love you.

Any man who cares about his wife or girlfriend will never stare at another woman while he is on a date.

[godfatherfan]

Possibly the stupidest comment ever. Just because he is with you, does not stop him from being a human being with all the same desires as he had before he met you. Looking isn't cheating. As long as he only acts with you, there shouldn't be an issue. Same with your looking at guys.

[Opinion Owner]

@godfatherfan

He can control who he looks at. Dont make excuses.

[Anonymous]

It's different for guys than for girls. Guys are designed by nature to be the hunters and be the ones to make the first move. That means they have to scope out the girls. So they are more into looks and girls are. And it's completely natural for them to stare because girls are made to be noticed that way. That's the reason we're here today because if it wasn't for that we wouldn't be.

[Nikki1989]

I have never paid attention to men. I am very happily married, so obviously I like some men, but I am just rarely ever attracted to any of them.

[dustybiker2]

I talk to everyone. But never stare or even compare. Happy people simply don't think about it. Needs met.

[Sugar100]

Yesterday my eyes wandered while I was with the guy on a date. I did that as I’m not into the guy and he is controlling so it made me lose interest. When I’m info someone my eyes don’t wander

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Since some comments are contradictory, what do YOU mean with wandering eyes, in practice, concretely?

[Ms_Facesitter]

As in "oh he's cute", sure. He's not the only attractive man out there. But It's not like I'm looking for someone else.

[LiamJHayden]

A straight male will notice a woman he finds attractive, but staring, especially while in a relationship, is disrespectful to both the unknown woman and his partner.

[SotiCoto]

It is reflexive. It isn't a matter of whether you look or not, but how quickly you catch yourself and reassert control.

[Babygirl_S]

No they don’t even when I’m single. He has to be very stunning for me to think his face is like art

[Bklynbadboy12]

I've looked at other woman but not while I was in the presence of my girl. But everybody looks there is nothing wrong with that you just can't act on it

[Shortkay4568]

It did while at the beach. No man was bigger than him

[blackeagle007]

Watch a clip of Pat Robertson from 700 club. He says it’s normal for married men ti run around with other women. His words, not mine

[Anonymous]

Do I notice other women? Sure. Do I care about them? Nope. Same as for women. Any woman who says otherwise is a liar.

[FlipFlop2]

Yes but train wrecks also catch my eyes. Not necessarily want to be with them.

[robocop666]

Women check me out while on dates with their boyfriends all the time.

[Agape93]

Sure, but it doesn't translate to action.

[Bklynbadboy12]

Well said and thats the key to this whole thing. Thank you for being honest

[Agape93]

@Bklynbadboy12 Anytime

[fonduegirl]

Yes I'm not blind lawl

[soe11]

• I don't on that way.

[DrPepper12]

I'm married not dead

[Anonymous]

It does often but I'm never caught.

[Anonymous]

So your eyes wander?

[Asker]

Yes they do

[Opinion Owner]

Your dads eyes wonder?

[Asker]

Ha yes I’m pretty sure

[Opinion Owner]

Damn u don’t come from a decent family do u

[Asker]

No I definitely don’t. Dad left my mom for another woman when I was a kid

[Opinion Owner]

lol 😂. No wonder u are so messed up

[PrettyCrumblBb]

No, we're loyal.

[jahaims]

My wife and I rate People together

[Saramad_Hill]

This is proof that what matters is knowing your partner.

Would they be mad if you looked for too long? Notice, but don't stare and ogle.

Some men and women are simply comfortable enough. They know their partner isn't about to cheat, and they can both be like "Damn, that's a fat ass."

What matters is knowing your partner, and always having what they're okay with in mind while you're out and about. It's natural to notice people, but it's rude to offend the person you're supposed to be dating/married to.

[Anonymous]

I've never been in a relationship.

[WhitneySnow]

No. Never.

[kavakava]

Only a time or two.