I would only place a man ahead of my family if he were my husband, not a boyfriend... what do you think?

[Danielle93]

I got inspired by an older, married female poster. She explained in her post that her mother always came first until she got married and then had a child. She changed the order and actually placed her husband in 2nd place (one seat ahead of her mother) and obviously her child takes the first seat.

I think that makes sense. For a man to be ahead of my own parents, he would have become my husband. If he's just a boyfriend, then I'm not choosing him over my family. I don't view a boyfriend the same as a husband. So yeah until that boyfriend status changes, he'll always come behind my parents, siblings and close friends.

[Summeroflove]

Yeah I agree with this too especially because just generic relationships may or may not last. I can put a woman ahead of my own family just to break up with her.

Obviously, my kids would come first and foremost. But yes my wife would be my number 1 until then. I see people do this and for nothing sometimes where they put especially a new girlfriend or boyfriend ahead of their parents.

Okay, maybe being engaged would start the process but at that point you pretty much are getting married.

[Danielle93]

Exactly it makes no sense. A boyfriend/girlfriend isn't your family.

[Summeroflove]

Well…. They better not be LMAO

[Summeroflove]

But seriously I agree. There are people who get too wrapped up in someone sacrifice everything and they never last

[OlderAndWiser]

Ideally, the husband and grandmother would agree that the child comes first, and neither the husband nor the grandmother would expect to be placed above the other. This should be a non-issue.

[OlderAndWiser]

Thanks for MHO!

[NordicInScandinavia]

I'm creating a life with my partner not my parents. A ring on my finger isn't going to change that the slightest. (It's ME who's dragging it out - marriage not be free and I think there's more important shit to spend money on)

[AI Opinion]

Ah, you've got the love hierarchy figured out! 😄 It's important to establish those priorities where they make sense to you. A boyfriend is like auditioning for the part, whereas a husband is the real deal! Marriage is that lifetime commitment where shifting priorities is a natural progression. Prioritizing family while dating can keep things grounded and realistic. You do you, love! 🥰

[DonaldDarko]

Children will always take first place they are the reason human sexuality even exists. It's just an evolved trait. We can conceal it behind all the romantic notions we want but women are something that evolved to breed. They probably have an instinctive drive to secure their genetic immortality through their children. I remember reading about a woman who was steril and couldn't be in a room with a pregnant woman because she "couldn't breathe". The pregnant woman had secured her immortality and for the sterile woman it was over. She looked at the pregnant woman and saw her own death. That is obsession on an animal level. Obsession on a primal level going back to the Precambrian era You're never going to have the romance, the "happily ever after" because that's not what the thing evolved for. Its to do the brutal work of perpetuating the species. nothing more. All else is mere illusion.

[NathanDavis]

if you have to fight this... maybe don't marry or stay close to any of them...

[Danielle93]

Then he (if he's a boyfriend) shouldn't be upset when I don't consider him as top priority, don't share my email passwords nor go out of my way of putting him on a pedestal.

[Danielle93]

If were to ask why he isn't as important as my family, my simple answer would be:
"We're not married so therefore you're not my family".

[NathanDavis]

but why would you even need to say that... lol

[Danielle93]

That's only if he asks.

[NathanDavis]

would you be okay if he cared more about his dog than you?

pets are family... girlfriends are not

[Danielle93]

Actually that makes sense too. If still unmarried, I would also place a loyal dog above him too. Bfs and gfs aren't family. A boyfriend/girlfriend is someone you're dating and romantically involved with but aren't bonded by public (verbal, written and signed) vows.

[NathanDavis]

well... isn't that romantic, lol

[fish5505_87]

I would say that sounds practical for the most part!

[Nikki1989]

Makes sense.

[wkhan_87]

Great thinking

[Danielle93]

Indeed. I've seen several posts about some women idealizing a boyfriend too much, doing so much for him and even going against her own family to the point he takes the spot... only for the man to either break up eventually or continue dating her for years without a wedding date.

[Danielle93]

Makes no sense.

[wkhan_87]

You are absolutely right, best of luck

[MasterKS]

logical!

[Danielle93]

Exactly. Too many women nowadays do too much for a boyfriend that isn't proposing after 5 years.

[MasterKS]

@Danielle93 boyfriend is actually a sex provider only.

[Danielle93]

Indeed. Too many failed to notice that.

[MasterKS]

@Danielle93 I dont mind to be boyfriend if i get sex, but to be husband i may think 100 times.