When do you tell someone you're busy?

[DishLady]

Hey Guys and Gals!

Hope you're all having a great week!

I was chatting with a friend to coordinate our next meet up and we kept looking at calendar dates and sighing at one another, "I can't meet that day, I'm busy." Of course this was a genuine "I'm busy" however there are a number of people who use the "I'm busy" as a catch-all excuse to brush someone off as well. It sort of looks like this:

• (Blanket claim prior to invites.) I'm a really busy guy/gal...
• (When meeting a person and asking their availability.) I work late (with no end in sight for the foreseeable future)...
• (When meeting a person and asking their availability.) I tend to get really busy...
• (When a meetup is suggested.) I'll check my schedule and get back to you...
• (Last minute cancellation of a meetup.) Oooh. I can't. Next time...
• (When a meetup is suggested.) Sure. We'll talk...
• (My personal fave...) I'm a busy person (when you already know the person well and know they're not busy).

Obviously in the case of these and similar brush offs the person is just saying they can't be bothered to spend time with YOU. So I then feel bad when I do use the expression "I'm busy" (or it's equivalent) even though I genuinely AM very occupied with some project or client! (Sigh... )

So now I'll put it out to the group (and please be honest):

1. Do you use the "I'm busy" copout?

2. How often?

3. With whom?

Yes, I do use the "I'm busy" copout (VERY OFTEN) with anyone who is unappealing to me.

Yes, I do use the "I'm busy" copout (FAIRLY OFTEN) with anyone who is unappealing to me.

Yes, I do use the "I'm busy" copout (OCCASIONALLY) with anyone who is unappealing to me.

Yes, I do use the expression "I'm busy" but only if I am sincerely extremely busy and I do try to schedule a specific later date for a meetup/chat.

No, I never use the "I'm busy" copout at all. It's insulting to the person receiving that comment.

[Summeroflove]

Be direct. Be respectful. Be honest. Most people will understand show interest in making plans when you have the time and are able. But if someone keeps pushing you have to be more blunt.

[DishLady]

Like, for example?

[Summeroflove]

Use your own words. Explain what you’re doing and that you don’t have time you're sorry.

[DeeDeeDeVour]

This morning, I did.

My husband & I were "getting busy" on the backyard lawn while one of my secretaries was repeatedly calling my phone.

After so many unanswered calls, I finally answered my phone.

I ask him why couldn't he just leave me detailed voicemail instead of repeatedly trying to connect with me.

When he couldn't give me a cohesive sentence, I (quite angrily) told him to "wait for my return call in a bit as I'm busy right now!"

While I was on the phone, hubby was getting really busy on me. <3

[DishLady]

🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️🤦🏻‍♀️

[AvaRay]

I tell the truth.. when I m busy say yeah I m busy, if not then I say I m not

Why should I lie? This world already contain so many liar, should I make myself as a add on too?

[DishLady]

That's like me. There's no reason to lie. You just say what you mean.

[WindAtMyBack]

Usually when I say I'm busy, it means I'm busy. But if I really want to do something with the person, I'll do it even if I'm busy. I'm an expert procrastinator. Whatever I'm busy with can be done anther time.

Only very rarely do I lie and say I'm busy when I'm not. Like almost never, but it's been known to happen.

[HawkPerception]

I'm too much of a "yes man". I almost never say I'm busy unless I have something that I need to do right at that second or I'm already engaged in an event.

[HawkPerception]

The people who want you in their life will make the time for you. And honestly, if someone puts effort in to reach out to me, I almost always give them my time.

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

I use it both genuinely; and when I don't have the mental energy to deal with someone, especially if it's someone I don't really like.

[DishLady]

Hmm... Moreso genuinely or moreso when you're just trying to distance yourself from the person?

[Sun_Kim-Ai]

Moreso genuinely. As of late I got the luck of having people around me that respect my boundaries.

[DishLady]

Nice. Good for you. :)

[RavVid]

I clearly do this all wrong.

"Any time is good for beer. You pick"

Not with girls though.

[DishLady]

Why not with girls?

[RavVid]

They'll take 10 years to get back if ever if you give them that amount of rope :)

[DishLady]

🤨🤨🤨

[spartan55]

If it's someone your indifferent towards then you are always busy. Every single day.

[DishLady]

Hmm. We used to joke about saying “I’m watching my hair that day” but I never thought to use it.

[spartan55]

Washing, conditioning, coloring, hot oil treatments... that's four days covered

[DishLady]

Indeed!

[exitseven]

if I am really busy I would say so. If I do not want to meet with somebody I will fake an amputation.

[DishLady]

Well you already have the cast….

[exitseven]

@DishLady hahahhah You are on a roll tonite.

[DishLady]

It happens, but only for folks I like. The rest get that weird “wrath of god 😒🤨💩” tone for asking the ridiculous or offensive.

[exitseven]

@DishLady 😊😊😊😊😊

[DishLady]

☀️☀️☀️

[Valdemort]

It's dumb to use if it's not the case.
Either I'll say I'll come back to them later, or explain the situation briefly. No need to use an excuse.

[queenofcardio]

Sometimes I don't wanna hang out with certain people. It's easier to say I'm busy then explain my true feelings.

[tfan1]

I actually give the reason if I’m busy on that day - I guess I give out info too easily.

[WhitneySnow]

I only do it occasionally

[slatyb]

You tell them when you are free.

[mrshooiser]

I tell people im busy even when im not busy. Lpl

[Anonymous]

Fairly often when they are being annoying.