What's worse infatuation without love or love without infatuation?

[Danielle93]

If you're in a relationship or marriage, what would be worse to you:

- Finding out they never moved past the infatuation period. Therefore, no they don't love you, never did. It was just the highs, passion and them seeing you as perfect, loving an idealized version of you... a fantasy but not the real you with flaws.

- Finding out they never developed an infatuation period with you and instead jumped straight to loving your real you, your attributes, what you contribute overall, your similarities and they're always been faithful even with the initial highs and passion.

Infatuation without ever loving you

Loving you without ever having the infatuation period

Updates

11 mo

*even without the initial highs and passion

[HollyK21]

How about no infatuation whatsoever lol. By definition, infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion for someone or something, key word being short-lived. I don’t want the intensity of being love bombed for 2-3 months and then once they have completed their conquest (aka they don’t have to work for you anymore or cosplay whatever version of themselves they’ve tailored to your liking), the relationship goes down hill.

[HollyK21]

Also to be clear me say “how about no infatuation” IS me agreeing with your options above I was just expanding on “why”.

[Danielle93]

Sounds great to me. Exactly, someone that's infatuated and head over heels with you doesn't love you and will break-up suddenly once that period fades or you leave them as soon as you find out you both share nothing in common at all, no common goals nor values, nothing.

[HollyK21]

So, so true. I find it a bit unsettling when people claim to be deeply in love or unshakably attached after 2-3 months of dating lol. That to me is like the trial period, you should go on dates, get to know each other, and be fully transparent so both parties can decide if they want to put a title of the relationship and so on. Over time I’ve noticed it’s the unhealed people that do the love bombing or those with attachment issues/codependency that become infatuated in these short lengths of time.

[beenherebefore]

The worst for me is when people mistaken infatuation with love.

[Danielle93]

Exactly. There are so many stories of people that described being head over heels (madly in love) and so passionate over someone and think that's love when it's not. That right there is infatuation; an intense crush and admiration that's short-lived.
Loving is when the period of the initial high faded... then either that relationship dies or it grows into something deeper.

[Danielle93]

If it all dies or they cheat just because they need constant sparks and have butterflies in stomach... then they never loved you. They only loved a fantasy of you and it was all a waste of time.

[jahaims]

Infatuation- an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. It's not love if it is short lived

[Anonymous]

What about being constantly stuck somewhere in the middle?

[Danielle93]

Could be but once they start aging, you're not going to see the same attractive, young person you met. For instance after 40 years of marriage (assuming they got married at age 25), the infatuation period have faded by then and it would be replaced by love and commitment.

[Opinion Owner]

Unfortunately, symptoms of infatuation can last a long time.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach, my aim is to help people navigate the tricky waters of love! 🤓✨ Now, let's add some spice to this question! Infatuation without love is basically living in a rom-com, but love without infatuation is like skipping the movie trailer and jumping to the enduring feels. Discovering someone only loved a fantasy can feel like a red flag parade, while loving the real you, flaws and all, is the dream. But hey, who doesn't appreciate a little infatuation to keep the spark alive? 💫❤️

[Sam1133]

What is love?

[Danielle93]

Love is deeper bonding and commitment, beyond just attraction. Love is beyond just desires to be in bed with you. Love is staying with the real person and accepting all their flaws. It's seeing you for being you and not a fake, fantasized version of you.

[Sam1133]

Thanks hun for explanation
I dont know what is love because I never get in my life 😒

[Anonymous]

B is worse.