What is the difference between love and infatuation?

[brain5000]

[SammyGurl]

Infatuation to me is like when you dwell on the feelings the other person gives you. It's a whole lot about that butterflies feeling you get when you see him. It's a lot about not having any real accountability to him. It's more about emotions. Love is when you choose to commit yourself to him. It's every bit about having and being voluntarily accountable to him. Love is every bit about being exclusive to him only. Love is totally about doing what it takes to stay together. Love is when you choose to lose yourself in him. Love is when you both put 100% into your relationship, often expecting nothing in return but getting everything you put into the relationship and sometimes more. Love is about having him being your best friend you've ever had and probably ever will. It's wanting to please him, because you get more out of it than he does! Love is about just being satisfied with him as my partner through life, without any need to ever look any farther, because in your heart you know there isn't anyone better for you than he is!!

[WBOTB]

Lots of other great opinions here, but I especially like the way you broke this down.

[WBOTB]

Infatuation has to do with how you see the other person and the feelings (the rush) that they give you when you're with them or think about them. When you are infatuated, you think about how crazy their body makes you. There's more objectification. It doesn't necessarily mean you don't care about them, but it's not love.

When you love someone, you make sacrifices for the betterment of the relationship and your partner's well being. That person is a priority. It is possible though to go from infatuation to love depending on how things evolve.

Now let's not confuse making someone a priority with choosing to spend time with that person over your friends. If a woman leaves her friends early to go to a guys house for some fun, her priority was to have some fun. Not to put his needs over the needs of her friends. It's more about HER OWN needs. When she ditches her friends to be with a guy because he's going through a hard time, that's her sacrificing being with her friends to help her lover.

[Fitness-Fanatic]

Personally, my definition is that infatuation is only superficial. People can crush on someone who they don't really know as a person. They don't know them on a deeper level. They tend to create an image of what that person is like , and how their life could be together. So they become infatuated with the illusion they've created. They desire them and lust after them , without knowing who they really are as a person

Love develops over time after you get to know a person's true character.. their qualities and flaws. You gradually get to know them on a deeper level, so feelings grow stronger over time. Therefore , you fall in love with their personality... their good side and " bad" side. It's not superficial unlike infatuation

[aleigh14]

I think of it like this:

Loving someone is loving the person. Infatuation is loving the idea of the person.

When you love someone, you love them as an entire entity, as a human being, flaws and all. When you're infatuated with someone, you're more in love with an image of them in your mind than anything else. You're obsessed with a certain idea you have of them that isn't really them.

[Aizou]

Seconding this. You explained it in a similar fashion to how I'd have done it.

[brain5000]

This is a good explanation, and others have posted it in this thread, but I'm a bit skeptical because at what point do you know the difference? It seems one could be in love with a concept of a person for decades. In fact that's probably how it usually goes. You just overlook the flaws, or they aren't dealbreaker flaws, their insignificant.

[brain5000]

It reads like something you say when you don't realize you're with a douchebag. "Oh I LOVE him!" and then you find out he slept with your best friend. "That was just infatuation!" You know? Like, something you say when you're no longer in love to trivialize the very real feeling of true love you once had.

[aleigh14]

Well sure, you might SAY it was only infatuation in order to help get over it, even if it was love. That doesn't make actual infatuation any less real.

As for the flaws thing: when you're in love, it's not so much that you overlook a person's flaws as you love them for their flaws. Imperfections are what make us human, and no one, despite what you might think, wants to date a "perfect" person. So in a world of imperfect people, we find people whose flaws we can love along with everything else about them. You love the small flaws, like how they can't stand when two foods on their plate touch, or how they always forget to check the mail before coming in from work. You also come to love the bigger flaws, like how they get frequent anxiety attacks, or how they have a rocky relationship with their parents. These things make them a whole person. Love persists despite these things, and infatuation can be instantly shattered by them.

[ak666]

I've seen people trying to distinguish these like so:

image.slidesharecdn.com/.../...fatuation-2-638.jpg

Sounds like bollocks to me. In that case, even the girls I was crushing on in my past were not "infatuations" exactly, but more "love", since I cared about them and became attracted to them on a deeper level.

Then I see other distinctions like "infatuation" is conditional, "love" is unconditional. In that case I'm not in "love" with my wife, I'm "infatuated" with her, since I'll most likely stop loving her if she becomes a serial killer and defies everything I came to dream and expect about her.

I see these distinctions as silly for the most part. As I see it, "infatuations" are usually the terms people use for people who fall for another person very quickly without knowing them very well or without mutual participation on their part. "Love" requires more mutual participation and knowledge of the other person in the most intimate contexts (possibly even sexual) to develop.

[ak666]

It's all in the realm of practical experience to me with the other person. But in my case even the love I have for my wife is a love for the dream I built around her, not unlike someone who is crushing. The only difference is that my dream has evolved and adapted and grown considerably over the years of being together in a most intimate context. With my crushes, I only knew them in a friendly context and my imagination filled in many gaps about who I thought they were and what it would be like for us to be together.

[ak666]

Yet my imagination still fills in some gaps about my wife. I love the "idea" of her. She sometimes defies my expectations and surprises me with how she acts (not so often these days) which shows that my dream is never entirely accurate. It's only much more accurate than the dreams I built when I was crushing. Either way I don't see these distinctions as so useful.

[Aizou]

Okay, to not bombard her with notifications; Infatuation or crushing on someone, is a/the shallow feeling of attraction, mostly towards their appearance or immediate exterior behaviorisms. Love is what develops after we get to know the depths of the person, when you're pretty much willing to put them before yourself, almost like nothing else matters when you're with them.

Infatuation and crushing can make you nervous and/or shy around the person, while love will make you relaxed and calm, able to be yourself.

[brain5000]

You are the first person to equate infatuation with a crush. But.. okay. Thumbs up! :)

[Aizou]

Up voted your question too, as this topic is one I find fascinating. Love and what it is/means, is something I enjoy discussing. Even if we can't fully put it in words. :3

[brain5000]

I find it fascinating too. by the way I don't understand the beginning of your post - "Okay, to not bombard her with notifications..." What notifications? I don't get it.

[Aizou]

The little orange circle with a number. It notifies us when someone replied to us here. If we kept commenting on her post, she'd be drowning in them. :3

https://oi63.tinypic.com/261yxrr.jpg

[UsernameCreator]

To me, infatuation is a feeling and love is an action.

Infatuation is one sided, completely from your perspective, you see who you want to see and what you want from them, the glorious romantic gestures are all for your prize, it is defined by how that person makes you feel and thus can end the second your feelings change.

Love is two sided, you are actively thinking of that person first and how to be the best partner you can be and they are doing the same for you, you are not loving for what you can get you are simply loving to give, you see them for what they are but focus on the positive though you encourage them to be their best, it is secured by how invested each person is in working through the obstacles even in moments you don't feel like it.

[danyalovettie44]

Infatuation..."omg that guy is sooo hot."
Love..."Damn, I love that idiot!"

[brain5000]

I am afraid your answer made me more confused than I was when we started. :)

[danyalovettie44]

When you're in love, you're appreciate and even love a person's flaws.

[danyalovettie44]

you *

[danyalovettie44]

When you're infatuated, you see the other person as a perfect physical human being.

[brain5000]

That was better. :)

[brain5000]

Of course as soon as I posted "that was better," I thought "how can you love a flaw?" it flies in the face of logic. I can see loving someone so much you are willing to overlook their flaws, but I am not going to say "I love you so much, go ahead and talk all the way through my favorite shows."

[JDavid25]

Love is when somebody got into a bad accident, and you are there with them until they are back to full health... Infatuation is when you are smitten with somebody and it's so powerful that it last for a few months.. It can be simply just a crush, or it can be full of lust..

[Analinda1999]

so far it seems to be time. they produce similar feelings but one has endurance the other is temporary. i don't think we can prove love is more altruistic bc it feels good to do things for people we are infatuated with as well.

[shyramarie1]

infatuation just get you wet, love means you care deeply for him or her

[brain5000]

You are the first person to equate infatuation with lust. But.. okay. Thumbs up! :)

[shyramarie1]

welcome

[OpenWine]

lots of infatuation here

[kamfani1]

Infatuation is short while love is more longer
Infatuation usually occurs at the beginning of relationship when sexual attraction is central. Love can be described as feeling of intense affection for another person. It is most often talked about as an emotion between two persons. Hence is also sometimes referred to as interpersonal love

[JustChris]

Infatuation is an intense but short-lived passion or admiration for someone or something. It's lust. Love is an intense feeling of deep affection like a deep romantic or sexual attachment. It's deeper than lust. It goes beyond that.

[Anonymous]

https://www.dictionary.com/browse/infatuation
https://www.dictionary.com/browse/love

[brain5000]

I was expecting this to settle the question. It sort of does, except it explains "infatuation" as a kind of foolish preoccupation. That's subjective or objective, or even a sort of love.

Maybe all of the people out there who say "it isn't love, it's just infatuation" don't know what they're talking about?

[Kibbity_Kabbit]

Love is the choice made to continue being with a person. Whereas infatuation usually is felt even before you begin dating.

[wrish09]

Infatuation is temporary so it does not lasts for a long time but love is long lasting. Basically infatuation is when you are attracted physically towards somebody but love is a feeling where you are attracted emotionally towards someone.

[MaverickNick1]

When you love someone, you think more about wanting to spend time with them and help them achieve their dreams and desires.

[elly91]

love=no other person is enough then the person we love. .
infatuation=your in love with the thought of being in love nothing more nothing less...
😊

[Hispanic-Cool-Guy]

Infatuation= Amazing feelings of passion and love, but fade after a period of time or when that person starts to piss you off a lot.

Love= A decision to love that person even when it's not convenient for you to do so anymore.

[Anonymous]

love is being in love with the person infatuation is being in love with the idea of the person... very different and most people have fallen into infatuation at one point or another.

[ADFSDF1996]

Infatuation is temporary, love can be permanent.

[jman46241]

One sounds better than the other..