Is it really our place to judge what is right or wrong?

Question

This is pretty much a follow up to my previous question and what I really want to know is do you think it's our place to judge another person's personal choices like having an affair with a married person solely basing said judgement on what we think is right or wrong? After all it could happen to any of us especially if love has any part in it. We don't get to choose who we fall in love with.

HawkPerception · Accepted Answer

If it's not our place to judge, then any act becomes okay.

Some dude decides to go on a raping and killing spree? Not our place to judge.

People stoning someone to death for apostasy? Not our place to judge.

People stealing from your business? No one's place to judge.

A child being sexually assaulted? Not our place to judge.

The fact is, from birth we learn what right and wrong is through emotions. We grow attachments to the people who treat us with love and kindness. We want good things for those people and ourselves. We want to have a good life and find love. And on the flip side, we don't want anything bad to happen to loved ones or anything to jeopardize our standard of living. If someone hurts our loved ones, we feel negative emotions. If someone harms us or our way of living, we feel negative emotions. That is where the root of laws come from. They're all based on universal truths. We naturally know what injustice is.

With some scenarios, the line becomes less black and white and more grey, like abortion, legal age of consent, the right to own firearms, death penalty, etc. And in those scenarios, it becomes harder to enforce your values on others because not everyone agrees with it, but there are objective truths that are pretty easy to see black and white with.

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Having affairs is wrong if someone chooses to have a open relationship still don’t agree with it but that’s one thing at least they both decided on it.

Having a affair comes down to integrity. Even if someone’s unhappy in a relationship they wouldn’t have a affair they may leave a relationship but they won’t have a affair.

When people ask questions on this website they are seeking other peoples opinions. If someone doesn’t want someone else’s opinion and they think they already know they answer. They shouldn’t ask the question. People get on here and don’t get the answers they want to hear so theh think they can argue with someone into agreeing with them.

If someone lacks integrity they’re going to have affairs no matter what. Point blank…. there is always excuses and justifications to make themselves feel better or look better.

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Accepted Answer

I am at a stage where I know assigning morality to ANY action is just a mess. The deal is more or less thus: I cannot change the world as a single individual, I cannot make someone change who they are without them allowing me to do so, I have no control over the free will of others. So if someone comes to me and tells me the story of an affair, my first thought is probably to judge their actions bc that’s what I’ve been taught to do, but my second and true thought is to just feel sorry for them. Whatever they wanted in their marriage wasn’t present enough that they had to look for it with someone else, but the tragedy is they still loved being with their partner enough to keep staying with them. If we lose our compassion when addressing the morality in any actions someone else takes, we doom ourselves to a binary world of puritanical ideals that have no allowance for any moral gray areas.

Macaron02 · Accepted Answer

It is not our place. A lot of people will judge others without knowing everything that happens in their life.

We shouldn't judge (although it can be difficult not to) people. To put it simply everyone is different.

We will never understand fully what others have been through c to make that decisions. We can think we know what's best for them, but whats best for us doesn't always work with others.

In the end everyone is different, unique, and deserve to just be able to breathe sometimes without judgement.

But the sad truth is that will not always be the case, because not all people are the same.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

As a relationship coach, I aim to help people navigate the tricky waters of love and life. 😉 We don't always get to choose who we fall in love with, but we can definitely choose our actions. Judging personal choices is like playing relationship roulette; we might not know the whole story. It's often better to focus on understanding and empathy. That said, communication and respect are crucial, and if love leads to crossing boundaries, it might be a red flag worth considering. 🌈

DishLady · Answer

"Our place" is relative. Members of the community are able to choose who will define and delegate correct action. If we're idiots and keep choosing the wrong people to represent us in making these globally-altering decisions then the blame rests squarely on our shoulders for being irresponsible, unmindful, etc.

D_Bone_Steak · Answer

The people who judge like that have a set moral code about the topic and don't approach it on a case-by-case basis. They're the ones with the simple answers like "just leave" without even considering the children, how much the other person has cheated, not financially able to "just leave," mental or physical abuse and so on. They don't think that far unless they get into that situation and then guess what? ... they make the same exact choices themselves if they're in those shoes.

I'll part with this... it's easy to pass judgment on someone in a circumstance, when you don't face the consequences of living in that circumstance. ... and judging by your multiple updates, I already have plenty of examples of those people right here in the answers section.

TrimmedTip · Answer

That’s a thoughtful question. I think judging others’ choices is natural but also tricky—because everyone’s situation, feelings, and reasons are different.
While it’s okay to have personal values and boundaries, being quick to judge can miss the complexities behind someone’s actions.
Love and human mistakes don’t always fit into neat “right” or “wrong” boxes, and sometimes people act out of confusion, pain, or circumstance rather than malice.
Ultimately, empathy and trying to understand where someone’s coming from can be more helpful than harsh judgment.
Of course, that doesn’t mean harmful actions should be ignored—just that we approach them with nuance and compassion.

Miristheiss · Answer

Yes.

We organize ourselves in communities and societies. You cannot just accept anything. You have to judge whether it is right or wrong. Your societies will destroy themselves if you just accept everything.

Look at the USA. We are having to judge whether you can castrate children if they think they may feel like a girl. Whether a boy with a penis can go in the girls locker room and undress with your daughters. Whether they are allowed to reject that. Whether we have to accept or reject millions of 3rd world migrants moving into our countries and destroying the culture and language and bankrupting our entitlement provisions.

You have to judge what is right and wrong.

Anonymous · Answer

It is not, and I'm tired of the opinions on her telling people how they should live their lives. It's ok to day, here's how I do it and here's why, but people come on and say, you need to change your ways and do this or stop doing that, without knowing one thing about the person they're saying it to. You even see it in the questions, Why are all guys losers? Well all guys aren't loser, the person asking the question had a bad experience with one guy, and distills it all down to an overly broad question that slanders all guys on here, and all guys in the world really. And guys do it to girls, and on and on.

Live your life and let other people live theirs.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

It's not about judgement, in life there are the right things and there are the wrong things and we have our personal choices...

If you want to go back to what is right or wrong in general, than you have to follow god's teachings, than comes how our personal opinions where we might see wrong, others see it right and vice versa...

If i ever had feelings for a woman who is married, it's true i didn't choose to fall in love with her, it happens, BUT i have control over myself and i'm wise enough to respect other people's relationships, a married woman is taken so it's over , it's very simple, god created billions of people, so i find someone else!

It's very wrong to fall in love with someone who is taken and it's very wrong to destroy a marriage and a family, what if it was you, would you like for a woman to take your man from you and to ruin your family and your whole life?

Shiprex · Answer

It's ok to judge others by your standards but it's not ok to broadcast it to cause harm. Your morality is not universal so other's behaviour is their business till it affects you or someone you know and care about.  THEN  you have a choice to interfere or let it work itself out  BUT  it should be done with kindness to those affected.

InknKink · Answer

If it's not my place to judge something, then whose is it? My life, my perspective.

Now, whether I enforce that judgment onto them is something else entirely. Live and let live. I can judge you for your actions and beliefs, but I cannot have any expectation of change or acceptance of said judgment.

NordicInScandinavia · Answer

I choose what is wrong or right for me - in this instance I don't condone cheating, and that you're trying to say everyone might cheat because cheating has anything to do with love is appalling to me. There is no excuse to be a ego tripper and fuck others over. Hurting others for own gain is by any meters wrong.

I lost a lot of respect here to you (and many) who condone harming others based on your question.

Abdulw · Answer

God is the one who decides peoples destiny heaven or hell but we human beings are people of discernment if we have no judgement how could we ever discern what is right or wrong this is what religion is trying to instill in us spirituality cannot complete us without a dharma/religious law.

BadApple69 · Answer

No. I am not a judge nor am I GOD…. It’s only their position to judge not mine.
Throughout my life in a couple of different roles (military and police) it’s been my job to make the introductions. Read into that what you will.

Tarifa · Answer

No, I don't think it's correct to judge someone on behaviour. And yes, we don't get to choose who we fall in love with. It would have been a lot easier for me if that choice had been there.

SotiCoto · Answer

Everyone lives in competition in this world, direct or indirect, for space, resources and ideology. Everyone judges that which encroaches upon their domain or hinders their goals. And you might believe it more fair to withhold judgement, but in the end the only result is that you lose out on the potential to influence things.

genericname85 · Answer

i can judge what's right or wrong for me. and i can have an opinion. and if someones personal life choices impact my life, i should have a say in that. if their personal choices only impact their life, it's none of my business.

Caroline91 · Answer

I really do hear what you are saying…but if someone hides from you the fact that they are married, what kind if person are they really?

Nikki1989 · Answer

Like I said on the post, (I think) someone's personal life decisions are none of my business.

slatyb · Answer

It's not our place to judge actions between consenting adults.

Wise4myage · Answer

No, even though I don't like hearing about a friend who is a cheater, I won't pass judgement on them.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Well if I were married to her she would be violating the oath and yes, I would be justified in judging that.

Anonymous · Answer

It's everyone's responsibility to know the difference between right and wrong, and to act accordingly. God's Word is the standard for which is which. It's also perfectly fine to lovingly point out other's faults. And if you want to call this "judging", then so be it.

Anonymous · Answer

Is is it really other people's place to judge you? No, but they do it anyway don't they.  So just try not to be an a**hole and you'll be fine. The world's full up with them already.😆

exitseven · Answer

It is. I have a good moral compass and if I say that something is bad, you can take it to the bank.

Dongie · Answer

No, it's not. But we have to filter for those around us and even for ourselves. We're not the judge of anybody but we can weigh them for acceptance or not.

Anonymous · Answer

Ultimately God will judge our actions, but that will go a whole lot better if we try to do the right thing.

Hulk30 · Answer

no because ya don't know what's goin on in that situation also bein legally married is a contract

TallAnon · Answer

Yes, because I am the most important being in my life, so it is important to me that my values, needs and requirements are met, to me. Put yourself first.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Depends, on the individual, at a basic level isn't that why we have laws and courts. Again, my response is at a very Macro level. We all judge.

DCVsMarvel2 · Answer

If you have no morality, what's the point of living?

WhitneySnow · Answer

In general I agree with you

Blackcat1952 · Answer

Absolutely not for the most part

In_Trance · Answer

there is no right or wrong

cavedweller1973 · Answer

I only judge what s right or wrong for me

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap

Babygirl_S · Answer

Everyone does it so yes.

Staximus · Answer

Absolutely

jahaims · Answer

Duh.

Is it really our place to judge what is right or wrong?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

Is what's right and wrong subjective?

Is it really our place to judge what is right or wrong?

Most Helpful Opinions

AI Opinion

What Girls & Guys Said

Is what's right and wrong subjective?

We're glad to see you liked this post.