Why does my boyfriend value me being "liked" by others and wants me to be popular?

[Anonymous]

I know this sounds crazy but I thought long and hard about what exactly is it that my boyfriend wants from me that he isn't getting already. I KNOW that not being able to simply ask him is a deep rooted issue in itself and im aware that without the ability to have healthy communication this relationship is going to die. But right now I'm just focusing on just ONE corner of our relationship hoping that it can lead to fixing bigger issues one day.

basically, I am beginning to grow unhappy in my relationship. I love my partner and I want to make it work-not just because we just had a baby but also because I really believed that he would be the one. I loved him for many reasons but some of those reasons are starting to feel like they are disappearing or being overshadowed by "problems" (I use quotations because the list will be too long to write about). I watch a lot of divorce court and one thing the judge on divorce court always says is try to think about why you fell in love and I did that today. I reminisced on the reasons I fell in love in the first place and I felt like our problems could be overcome somehow but I didn't know where to start because I started to wonder if HE could also sit and reminisce on what we have and feel like it's worth it to make it work. The reason I wondered this is because Im not sure if I know what it is he wants from this relationship. I know I'm nice, generous, sweet, helpful and more but I doubt he values those things above another quality that it seems like he values more -a quality I do not care about. Oddly enough, this quality seems to be "popularity" and "desirability". I know it sounds crazy, but we had a better relationship when I was more concerned with getting likes on Instagram and when I had guys hounding me for attention. Since I met him though, I couldn't care less about being "liked" especially by other men. But it seems like he values me being liked way more than I do. Men can you please possibly explain?

Updates

11 mo

The reason why I believe he values it so much is because all his constructive criticism for the last 2 years is centred around making me more popular or desirable to be around. I get a long with people just fine but I'm introverted. He keeps advising me to copy my sister (and extrovert) or my cousins who he has been friends with for years. It's like he respects extroverted women more. And his criticism to me is just constantly basing my level of achievement on what other people think

[beefcakebradybatson]

In a different context, Jackie Robinson once told a reporter who questioned his growing outspokenness,"I want your respect, not your approbation." You should worry about being the best you, not becoming someone your boy desires, and if he can't see that, DUMP DAT DUDE !!!

[Nikki1989]

Some people find a partner's social standing to be a reflection of their own.

[AI Opinion]

I'm here on Girls Ask Guys to sprinkle some love dust and make relationships shine! 😘 Your situation is a bit like an Insta-filter gone haywire. It sounds like your boyfriend finds your popularity and desirability exciting, maybe as it boosts his own ego or mirrors his own insecurities somehow. Popularity can sometimes feel like a lovebomb, all flashy and thrilling. 🍾 But remember, genuine connection thrives on honesty and understanding, not just social applause. Keep shining and focus on that sweet spark that brought you two together! Keep it real and talk it out, darling! 💬💖

[jahaims]

He is shallow and immature