Why is my new boyfriend so self consious because I get a lot of attention from other guys?

[Anonymous]

we were walking and a bunch of guys were whistling at me and getting looks from many others

[Anonymous]

Probably because he’s aware that there are any number of other men who would like to fuck you and compete for your attention and that it’d be very easy for you to find someone else, but he doesn’t have the same advantages you enjoy.

[Asker]

he thinks im going to leave him its such a problem and he's ignoring me now today

[Opinion Owner]

I don’t know the full situation since I wasn’t there and obviously I’m just some guy on the internet, but it could maybe be how you responded or didn’t respond to the cat calls. I’m not saying what you did was right or wrong, I’m just guessing, but like say a guy catcalls you and he expects you to tell the guy off and insult him or something, but instead you just ignore them and walk on past. He could misconstrue that as you not being that angry about their advances. Or maybe he wanted you to say “sorry but I got a man right here” or something like that. You maybe handled the situation differently than what he had expected.

Also, this is something else to consider, it’s emasculating for a man to have other men hit on their girlfriend or wife. It means they don’t really take him seriously as a man. Yes, I know this is caveman-like behavior, but this is what nature is like. Men compete for a woman’s attention and yes, body. If other men think you can’t protect your woman, or that you’re a punk, it can make you feel like less than a man.

I’ve had very attractive girlfriends in the past, and have noticed guys occasionally checking them out, but none EVER said anything to her when I was around. I’m not an enormous guy, but I’m 6’ and wrestled and kickboxed and was in the military. I carry myself well.

My point is that he’s probably also had his pride hurt a bit during this whole incident and had a loss of confidence.

I’m not saying this is right or wrong, I’m just saying this could be what he is going through somewhat.

[Opinion Owner]

I’d suggest giving him some reassurances here and there about why you enjoy being with him. Don’t be super obvious and say “oh I’d never leave you, don’t worry about what other guys say.” That would just draw attention back to his worries and it also sounds like bs. Drop little compliments here or there. Tell him he looks really hot when you’re with him, or how much you like the way he kisses you, or how you love your conversations and that you have x, y, or z in common. Make him feel valued. I’m not saying you don’t do this, but as a man who has been in several relationships and lived with two different girlfriends, women rarely compliment men. Once in a blue moon they will tell you the barber did a good job on your hair. Woo-hoo. It makes you feel VERY taken for granted. And if other guys are hollering at you? It really could mess with you.

Just give him a bit of time. He’ll eventually respond to your texts. You will hang out again. Don’t make a big deal out of what happened, just go forward from there.

[Guy13]

Possibly because you enjoy it and that makes him nervous to slightly distrustful. Who knows how you will act when he’s not around…

[SuperToad]

Lol this is a dumb question. Like if guys are whistling at you they would obviously fuck you in a heartbeat. And most girls like to get fucked so obviously any sane dude would be self conscious

[Asker]

he thinks im going to leave him. its turned into a massive problem with us now

[SuperToad]

How is that a problem? Why don’t you just tell him how you feel? I’m confused as to why this is an issue. Reassure him you want to be with him and if you don’t then tell him. It sounds like it’s a problem because you don’t communicate

[Asker]

Well I shouldn't need to keep worrying everytime we go out. He's a grown man he should have his own confidence

[1GoldTwins]

Because he's a guy and he knows how guys think.