I'm hesitant about leaving my workplace, home, family and friends for my boyfriend... should I refuse?

[Anonymous]

Even though I love my boyfriend of 4 years, I'm not sure about moving from Tampa, FL to Salt Lake City, Utah. I've just been promoted as supervisor last month and really love my job.

My close friends and male cousin have advised me against travelling far and moving in with him. My parents actually started hating him since last year. They keep saying "where is the ring, where are our grandkids, 4 years gone, get rid of him".

Part of me wants to but I'm having a hunch feeling that it might be a bad idea too. I would have to leave my job, sell my house and be far from my family and friends. It's like I would be making so much sacrifice and what if the relationship ends? My parents really hate him and they rarely are the type to talk bad about someone.

[Finchie40]

Utah or Florida? My ass would be staying in Florida over Utah lol it sounds like you are better off leaving him and staying where you are at , it would be one thing if you were married to him , then that would be a different story , but since he is just a boyfriend , then that’s not a big deal bf’s and gf’s come and go, if he truly loved you he would of put a ring on your finger already. Since he didn’t you are best not to go with him , I know it’s hard, I been in your shoes a few times before , but since you aren’t married you are best to focus on your life and stay where you are at with your family , when you finally get married , tank if something like this happens again , then go with your husband , but for now stick where you are at. You don’t have to be enemies with him , unless he wants to be your enemy for not going with him , but that’s his problem , not yours’ The thing is I can’t tell you what to do , but from what you wrote, it sounds like you are best not to go , especially since your family doesn’t really care for him whatsoever. and you got a promotion at your job , which is a great thing , so why piss that all away for Utah lol

[Asker]

I have to admit this made sense. You pretty much said everything my parents just said too. As much as I love him, sometimes I wonder why he won't marry me as he promised that it would happen one day. I'm already ready for kids but it's like there's always another excuse he keeps giving to postpone thing. Once in a while I cry alone in my bed. So yeah with that happening, I don't feel good about going to Utah. It's like he wants me to sacrifice so much for him and he won't do it.

[Finchie40]

Someone that truly loves you doesn’t
Make excuses , they will climb mountains to have you by their side , your boyfriend unfortunately isn’t doing that for you , so you will be doing the right thing by not going with him whatsoever , especially if you are close to your family and friends’ , you would be missing them like crazy and regret moving there. Is your boyfriend moving there for a job? If so , he is basically picking a job over picking you , something to think about , because me personally wouldn’t leave the girl I loved for a damn job period., especially if she didn’t want to go.

[slatyb]

If you are hesitant, then he's not worth moving for. There are other men, and SLC is quite different from Tampa. For one thing, it's largely Mormon. Based on what you have written, you should refuse. If you have a generally good relationship with your parents, listen carefully to them. I'm guessing they don't like the way he treats you.

[Asker]

Yes, I've always been close to my parents. Sometimes I feel as if I'm making so much effort in this relationship and he doesn't reciprocate much.

[slatyb]

Right, and your parents see that. He's not even doing the bare minimum. End it now and move on.

[Clear_Skies10]

Did you meet and date in Florida? If so it seems weird that you would have to move away to Utah. He should should be more considerate about your situation, and not take you out of your life.

[Asker]

Yes we dated in FL until he had to return home. I don't feel good about moving that far. I'm worried about giving my life up, only for the relationship to end. As much as I love him, I'm not too sure about moving that far. I've never been in another state ever.

[Clear_Skies10]

Yeah that sounds messed up. He shouldn't expect you to do that. Worst case scenario you guys would possibly get married and move someplace halfway between your family and his. Dating people who aren't local always leads to these problems. In my opinion, he travelled to Florida where he met you. He shouldn't expect to take you away from your life. He should move to Florida, or find a woman in Utah.

[Asker]

My parents actually think he's never going to propose nor marry me if I move to Utah and that I'll sacrifice it all for nothing. Ever since I told them about his suggestion of him wanting me to move that far, they hate him even more.

[Asker]

I've tried suggesting him to move to FL instead but he refused and gave me a bunch of reason why he can't do that. Yet it won't be easy for me to move that far either.

[Clear_Skies10]

I can understand their concern. You are sacrificing everything to move quite a distance away. Your family won't see you as much. You gotta weigh the pros and cons of this decision. Like you said, that relationship might not last, then you'll be stuck in Utah away from your family, possibly working in a job that you don't like as much as what you have currently.