What should I do to be a good girlfriend to my ex elementary school classmate instead?

[Anonymous]

I’m a newbie to relationships and I wonder what should I do to please him emotionally instead of physically. I need help

Updates

8 mo

I have met him and he’s quite hot IRL which is not what I expected. The problem is, one of his best buddies told him he’s not that hot and he will never get a girlfriend if he doesn’t put in effort to look a certain way and choosing to be shy a week ago or two but as long as I find him attractive that’s all that matters. I’m sure he’s a great guy I just have this gut feeling. I will go out on dates with him for a couple of months and see if we are compatible.

[NoOneEver]

Spend time with him doing some of his interests even if it bored you, it will mean the world to him if you end playing a video game he likes, or a sport, or if he’s into puzzles or tabletop games, or watching certain series or movies that are his favorites.

Make an effort towards his personal interests and showing him how much he matters really makes an impact.

The downside to this is that there’s no other feeling like it in the world. So he’ll end up wishing he could do those things all the time with you even if you only want to do it more sparingly.

[Asker]

I’m willing to do that but the problem is one of my favourite series contains a ton of s** scenes because it’s meant for adults to watch I’m not sure if it’s a good idea watching together with him… I’m afraid when those scenes appear he will be tempted to want to do it with me. It’s a highly erotic action series that could possibly arouse men easily… So…

[NoOneEver]

We’ll try to divert to a hobby or interest that isn’t as erotic in nature? I’m sure you have more than just a singular option.

[Asker]

I love gaming but it’s more of time management games in early 2000s. I’m not sure if he plays those during his childhood days if he does it will be great. I have watched other types of series like anime, documentaries, action and horror. I’m someone who loves visiting museums and libraries way more than just going to the mall because window shopping is a freaking waste of time in my opinion. Libraries tend to be in larger shopping malls so I just went there, borrow books on history then I went straight out of the mall to go home. Is it a good idea to tell him what I want to do to him when it comes to love making but only when I’m married to him? I will also let him know I lacked experience in those kind of thing but I’m willing to try to give him ultimate pleasure.

[NoOneEver]

I think you mentioned something about your relationship not being official yet. I’d wait until then to mention the other stuff. After all, you don’t want someone to start thinking about you with their other head instead of thinking clearly on whether they truly want you or not and plan on testing you right.

Hormones can often middle things for people until the common phrase of “post but clarity” kicks in and then they end up feeling way different afterwards. So I think you putting erotic displays to the side works best, while focusing on more activities that get you to know one another better and enjoy time in each other’s company.

Sometimes taking a simple walk in a park and holding hands as you laugh and talk can do wonders. Look for picnic ideas or other date ideas as well. Keep it wholesome at the beginning until you feel that you’ve assessed how he truly feels and that it’s not just about a crash and burn, ended as quick as it started, sexual romance..

[Asker]

Thank you. I will work on myself and ensure this relationship I’m having with him doesn’t give him the impression I’m with him for s** but more of a long term loving relationship. Maybe a date at a museum can work too as an additional date idea.

[NoOneEver]

Good luck

[Asker]

Thank you ☺️

[Finchie40]

Just be yourself and be his friend , stay loyal and respectful , treat him how you want to be treated in return

[Anonymous]

Loyalty in every way. Being loyal when no one sees u

[Asker]

Agreed. I hope he can be loyal to me too just like I’m willing to.

[Opinion Owner]

Why do u want him so bad

[Asker]

It’s because I have difficulty finding a boyfriend and for some reason I created a Facebook account to try to connect with all of my elementary school classmates and I found his account. His post states ‘Having difficulty finding true love…’ I know what he looks like IRL although that was when I knew him when I was 10. He’s an extremely shy guy. He always talks to his 2 best buddies but made no effort to talk to girls that’s probably why his shyness didn’t change till now making him unable to get a girlfriend. I don’t date him out of pity, I want him because we both want the same thing which is true love. As of now I’m his date not his girlfriend yet and I’m confident we could be suitable for each other and eventually married. At first it was hard getting him to reply to my messages but my last attempt managed to make him come out of hiding.

[Opinion Owner]

U don’t like him

[Opinion Owner]

How he looks

[AI Opinion]

Helping people connect emotionally is my thing 😉! Focus on understanding and supporting him. Be a good listener, show genuine interest in his life, and encourage his passions. Also, share your thoughts and feelings openly; communication is key! Little surprises or heartfelt gestures can strengthen your connection, too. Just be yourself and let things flow naturally—no need to force it. Keep it fun and light! 💕

[slatyb]

Be your usual considerate self. That's all.

Is he in need of support now? Why?

[Anonymous]

Loyalty is the most important in my opinion.

[Alex-Snow]

Start off just by being a friend and see where it goes

[Celticwolf78]

Don't try and rush it let it just happen