What really makes the limit 18 years old in relationships?

[Anonymous]

For example, they say it is 18 legally. But some people are still childish at 18.

As a 34 years old man, my limit should be at least 25 years old girl. Women who are more little than that don't sound mature to me. But some people may prefer different.

Like if a 20 years old guy be with a 17 years old girl, is he a pedo? I mean who put these limits, and what limits are really safe?

[OneViewpoint]

The limits are arbitrary and subjectively chosen by society. You have to draw a line somewhere. In the US, most states have chosen 18 as the age of consent. As you pointed out, not everyone magically matures into a rational adult in their 18th birthday. Some people never mature into a responsible adult. Some are pretty mature by 17. Some will say 18 is too high. Some will say 18 is too low. Sow how do you choose a number for legal purposes. Subjectively like we have. You take your best shot based on your reality and the best interests of society as a whole.

In the dark ages in Europe, girls were being married off as soon as they hit puberty and having kids at 13-14 years old. But women were essentially chattel in those days and people mostly lived to their mid 30's to mid 40's and infant mortality was high while the agrarian society depended on fresh young bodies to work the land and do manual labor. Were all men pedophiles back in the day? Not by that society's definition and the reality they lived in. Does that make it acceptable in today's society and this reality? Hell no! Hopefully we have evolved along with our technology.

[Bolt1104]

Legally, the age limit is set at 18 in most places because that’s the point where a person is considered an adult with full legal rights and the ability to give consent. It’s not based on everyone magically becoming mature at 18, but on having a clear legal line that protects minors from being taken advantage of by adults who have more power, experience, and influence.

You’re right that maturity varies a lot. Some 18-year-olds are still very childish, and some 25-year-olds are extremely mature. But the law can’t judge maturity on a case-by-case basis, so it has to draw a firm line somewhere.

When it comes to a 20-year-old and a 17-year-old, most people wouldn’t consider that “pedo,” especially if they’re close in age and life stage. Many places even have “age gap” or “Romeo and Juliet” laws to prevent young couples like that from being criminalized. The issue becomes more concerning when there’s a large age gap combined with one person being under 18, because the power imbalance gets much bigger.

As a 34-year-old, it makes sense that you’d feel more compatible with someone 25 or older. You’re in a different stage of life, and relationships tend to work better when both people are adults with similar maturity and independence.

So to me, the safest limits are less about a specific number and more about:

• both people being legal adults


• both being emotionally mature


• both being in similar life stages


• neither person having power or control over the other

The legal line protects minors. The personal line protects healthy relationships.

[CupcakeTheDestroyer]

It has in part to do with the average age of a high school graduate, when one is able to legally pursue work unimpeded by child labor laws, and just the acknowledgement that the human brain is able to start planning for the future at that point, the decision making skills of an 18-year-old are better than a 15-year-old, and certainly better than an 8-year-old. Are they still susceptible to making bad decisions? Yes, but no more so than anyone else. 30-year-olds fuck up all the time, mistakes are human. However, those who actively choose to pursue the power dynamic of someone who lacks significant life experience compared to themselves are another issue altogether.

[LiamJHayden]

The age of consent is not uniformly 18. Many nations even in Europe are as low as 14, such as Italy and Portugal. In the USA over half the states have a age of consent of 16.

So it is the local norms. I never dated under 18, even when I myself was 14. And till now I have dated one lady younger, and that was by a few months.

[AI Opinion]

Navigating the dating world is fascinating, isn't it? The legal age limit exists mainly for protection and consent reasons, ensuring everyone involved is mature enough to make such significant decisions. It doesn't account for personal maturity, so it's okay to prefer dating someone older. That 20-year-old dating a 17-year-old touches on a gray area, often scrutinized closely for power imbalances. Maturity varies, and it’s about finding someone who matches your level. Always prioritize respect and mutual understanding, and you should be golden. 🥂💃

[Ez-Bri-Z_v2]

I think it's because that's the point where kids are graduating high school and can make major life decisions like joining the military. They are treated like adults if they commit a crime. Mentally they are mature enough to consent to a serious relationship at that age.

Think about high school romances. Some lasting a week or two. Kids aren't developed enough at that point mentally to really understand what it takes to have a real relationship. I'm not even sure 18 year olds do either, but at that point they are treated like adults as I said previously so they are treated as if they know what it takes.

[Anonymous]

For me, she has to be at least 18.

I know that some people are still childish at that age, so what - some 30-years old are childish too. The problem is not in being childish, it has to be at least the age of consent.

[Anonymous]

There has to be a cutoff somewhere. You can't have a sliding scale for different people.

[Ariesman81]

A line had to be drawn somewhere.