Why do people always want opposite of what they already have?

[Finchie40]

I always hear people bitch and complain about their partners’ behind their backs ,, and some of them will cheat or eventually or leave their partner for someone else , instead of fixing what is wrong in the relationship, thinking the other person is going to bring them happiness and love , not realizing the only reason the other person is better , is because they don’t live with them ,

[Noredcarpet]

I think they start talking behind their partners back when they have tried to talk to their partner first, so when that connection fails, could be the partners fault, could be the one turning to others fault, could be both faults, could be they got something wrong and something right, anyways when that fails they turn to others because everyone wants to be understood and "home". If they then eventually leave to be with someone else then yes they do think that partner got them, get that void. I did not turn to anyone, especially not my family who would advice me to get the hell away from my ex and fight for me, or friends, but the one time I did confide to a friend she was in disbelief. After that, after I got out, I broke off my friendship with her as I had been there for her many times and the one time I was so afraid to say something to break the silence but still did she didn't show up. To me the whole don't talk to friends or anyone else except your partner is the right thing to do in some cases, but in others it is not. It depend on the situation I think. I mean I have turned to you all on here and you have helped me out, it can be the right thing to do, it all depends in my opinion.

[Noredcarpet]

Wanna add: there are those people. Maybe these are those you refer to that are raised in families where the parents teach their children to do this so everyone is stabbing everyone in the back basically and they don't think twice sbout it as this is what they grew up with. They end up with partners that are just like them who too don't see anything wrong with it. I have been around those types. They do love each other but there has always been a lack of intimacy, trust, vulnerability but as they are the same way they don't know anything else.

[CherryLove007]

Good observations however it's the delusion of having blinders over your eyes and the fairy dream.

A Healthy Relationship Means Two Healthy Individuals

NEVER talk shit about your partner or complain about them to your friends. If you have a problem with your partner, you should be having that conversation with them, not with anyone else.

The relationship is a living, breathing thing. Much like the body and muscles, it cannot get stronger without stress and challenge. You have to fight. You have to hash things out.

[Finchie40]

Unfortunately not everyone thinks that way , and sadly a lot of people are selfish thinking grass is greener on the other side , but once they realize it isn’t , then they try to come back to you acting like they loved you the whole time , but the truth is , they just loved the convenience of
You , every ex I have a second chance too was a waste of time , why I no longer take exes back period

[Angelo75]

Cuz stupid beings that we are, we always think that the grass is greener at the other side.
You give someone a ham-cheese sandwich for a year, and he'll start craving to have a sandwich with only lettuce in it.

The harsh reality is that we ALL have our negative/downsides. The sad thing is that usually the cheater finds out after a lot of damage has already been done. And then the regrets come.

I know a song where the singer says: "You have a diamond in your hands, but you're walking around picking rocks."

[OneViewpoint]

It's a story as old as the human race.

• We get bored. We crave something new.
• Years of small offenses become big deals in our heads. It creates resentment.
• We believe something new will be better. More exciting.
• We change. Our partners change. We fall out of love.
• We settled way back when. "What if" plagues us.
• Opportunity presents itself and it's tempting.
• We're tired, weary. A new beginning sounds like an easy solution.
• Sex with someone new is exhilarating in the short term.
• Etc. etc. etc.

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach here to sprinkle a little love science on GAG, it's normal for people to get caught in the grass-is-greener trap. The thrill of the new can feel alluring, especially if things at home aren't as spicy as one might like. 🚀 Improving communication with your partner is key! Don't let daydreams of mysterious strangers kickstart the lovebombing cycle of destruction. Remember, when we put effort into our existing relationship, it can turn out to be much more fulfilling than we'd imagined! 😘

[AviatorTom]

That's a non-sequitor. One cannot want what one already has!

[Bitter_Sweet94]

People chase the opposite because familiarity gets quiet.

What we already have stops surprising us, so our mind starts looking for contrast, something that wakes us up again.

It’s not greed, it’s human psychology.

We romanticize what’s missing and underestimate what’s present.

But the truth is, wanting “the opposite” usually says more about our restlessness than about the thing we already have.

Most people don’t actually need the opposite.

They just need to appreciate what’s real in front of them.

[sage2021]

Maybe that saying "Opposites Attract" isn't true after all. But I never believed it anyway.
If you happen to find someone who is more like you are, you don't have to "work" at your relationship. You enjoy it.
You get each other!
People change as time changes and they meet new people along the way. But if you are with someone who you get along pretty well with, why would you want someone else?
My relationship with my late boyfriend was a blast! We didn't even have to go somewhere - just being at home we still had so much fun together.
When you have mutual respect, a great sense of humor, and love each other, have fun together, you actually can't wait to do it again the next day, and the next day, until one of you passes away.

[Screenwriter]

Humans also love the novel and new. When you've been with someone a long time, they are no longer novel and new. Successful longtime couples realize renewal is within each of us. Switching outward issues doesn't solve inside troubles. They'll resurface again in a new relationship.

So self-work and couple work can solve most of these issues. But that word, "work" means it won't magically happen. Poof! So, some relationships go poof!

[HawkPerception]

Well said. Really well said. Think you hit the nail on the head with that one.

[Crimsyjo]

Hahaha yeah I guess if you keep getting the same toxic behaviours in relationships maybe one has yo look at oneself as a cause too lol. Not just type and bad luck 😂

[lightbulb27]

grass always seems greener somewhere else.

it's not sometimes, it's way worse.

perfectionist mentality and redirection. some hard heads cannot flex.

[HawkPerception]

Ha I was literally gonna say "Grass is greener syndrome". Guess I'll refrain from stating an opinion on this question now 😂

[lightbulb27]

@HawkPerception great minds think alike. Or maybe we spent a lot of time lawn mowing...

[HawkPerception]

I definitely have spent a lot of time doing the lawn

[beenherebefore]

Because they think the grass is greener on the other side.

[MrChinaski]

Many people will do anything to avoid accepting that they alone are responsible for their own happiness, success and meaning.

[Anonymous]

Not all the people, I bet Elon Musk don't want opposite of what he has... if I were him, I definitely wound't want something opposite of what I would have.

[Aiko_E_Lara]

I mean you'd get bored of eating pizza everyday and wanted something else

[Eleni9]

They probably do, then they realize that it is not what they thought it was.

[Finchie40]

Yea , then sometimes they try coming back, thinking they can be forgiven for their selfish actions and behavior , that shit doesn’t roll with me , Once an ex always an ex

[chucktheduck]

Because they are not accepting

[Nonamez]

Never enough