Relationship can face significant challenges when two people hold completely different political ideas and core values. Differences in beliefs about society, morality, or the environment can influence everyday decisions, priorities, and even how conflicts are approached. For example, a person who strongly supports social equality and environmental responsibility might struggle to relate to a partner who dismisses these issues or actively opposes them. Over time, these differences can lead to frustration, misunderstandings, and a sense of disconnection, even if there is mutual affection. While some couples might find ways to compromise or focus on shared interests, fundamental disagreements on values often create ongoing tension that is difficult to overcome. This raises a broader question about compatibility: is it truly possible to maintain a fulfilling and harmonious relationship when core beliefs and worldviews are in direct opposition?
I would never be able to date someone who has ideas that are completely different from mine, what about you? Have you ever dated someone with comoletely opposite ideas from yours?
Would you be able to date someone whose core beliefs or values are completely different from yours?
Absolutely not. I've tried to before and the conflicts always build up. I'm agnostic and cannot date someone who's religious. One religion I'm okay with is Buddhism because they do not believe in a god either. So the person would have to be atheist, agnostic, or Buddhist. I'm okay with them being Catholic too, as long as they don't care to raise their kids Catholic and don't make me go to church.
Secondly, political views. I never used to be into politics. I used to never want anything to do with it, thinking that it was a waste of time to think about or get involved in. I used to think if you get involved in politics, it just makes you a sheep of society, because most people don't make much of a difference in society.
However, nowadays I realize politics directly affects your life through the society you live in. And society is built on the foundation of the majority's views.
I get along with people who have similar values and don't get along with those who have different views. If I tell someone I think death penalty is appropriate for criminals who kill and rape, I don't want them gasping in horror or thinking I'm some kind of unforgiving monster. If I say that religion is for sheep, I don't want them thinking I'm stupid and uneducated, or not raised correctly. If I say I think humans are better off without technology, I don't want them saying "Then go be a hermit in the woods. You're still free to do that!"
My partner should agree with me on fundamental values and views because conflict arises when there are differences in those. The more views you have in common, the less conflict there will be in a relationship.
That is a relationship that will never work. If they are only a little different, that is fine. But if they are "completely" or very different it will always fail. You can't be happy with someone who not only believes things you consider evil are good, but that chooses to do them despite you thinking they are evil.
I could date (and have dated) people with different political or religious beliefs than mine as long as they shared my core values (beliefs that women and men are equal, that everyone deserves to be treated with dignity, that close friends, your kids and other close family are equal to your SO in your life and deserve to be treated as such). If they didn’t share my core values, we would fight a lot and it almost certainly wouldn’t last.
I'm sort of going through this now. While I am deeply spiritual and somewhat religious, the guy I'm dating is extremely religious and wants me to be as well. While I want to eventually walk down the path of being in a church and getting baptized, I'm not at that point in my life. I want to do it when I'm ready and not for a guy.
This is the main difference between us that I feel might cause a rift.
Ah, the spicy topic of mismatched beliefs! 🌶️ My aim on Girls Ask Guys is to help navigate these stormy relationship waters. Dating someone with totally different core values can be like trying to salsa dance with two left feet. It's tricky but doable if the chemistry is amazing and the patience infinite. Personally, I love a good challenge, but keeping shared respect and understanding, especially when fireworks flare, is key. Otherwise, a constant storm of ghosting and emotional whirlwinds might just leave both partners exhausted. 💃🌪️
Not if their core values are completely different. If we agree on some core values and disagree on others, a relationship might work, depending on the specifics.
No. You can be in a serious relationship with someone who has values and ethics that are other than yours, but to be in a long-term relationship, both partners really need to share the same beliefs.
Me and my husband had quite a bit different core beliefs and values when we first met. I've always been very conservative.
He's become quite conservative and he's become a lot better and smarter of a person since I met him. He now has many of the same beliefs and values as I do.
Different political views might be fine because I avoid politics as much as possible. Different culture is also fine if we come from different countries. Different religions? If she believes in Jesus/Christian/Jews/Muslim then sure I'm fine with that too.
It would be a challenge so I would prefer to date someone who has somewhat similar core values and political beliefs. They do not have to perfectly match up with mine but someone with the opposite values would be a no go for me. What have been your experiences with current or past boyfriends?
Probably not. I consider that people with different core beliefs than I have are people that have some qualities that I find completely unacceptable, such as a lack of empathy, or a lack of decency, or a lack of belief in justice. Those are all problems I'm not willing to tolerate, no matter what else is going on.
Of course, the differences truly make a sense prodided that you both are able to get unified beneath the same ideas and look at the same direction together. If both of us were completely same, the things would be kinda boring and nothing could be shared
No that's basically the most important part of maintaining the relationship.. I've tried dating women who's core values don't align with mine and most of them were short lived little relationships..
I wouldn’t want to. I did that for 2 years with my exes and they had me bursting a vessel in my nose from their bullshit and their denial when it comes to mental health research.
We do not need to agree. She is unlikely to change my mind. If she is combative about it, she's gone. I value respect, cooperation, stability and faithfulness. If she can't manage that, she's gone.
core beliefs no. so things like empathy, communication, not looking down on others especially less privileged than you etc. if you are against all that, we aren't dating. and i probably wouldn't even want to be friends with them
No there’s no point in dating someone who has totally different views from you…. that’s not the prerequisite for a lasting relationship and would be a total waste of time for me
I don't know I guess it would depend on what exactly those beliefs/values were.
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Anonymous
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Maybe, but I'm willing to bet that they wouldn't be able to date me. Respect is paramount in a relationship. She doesn't have to share my views, but she would need to respect them.
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