Unbalance in how much time you spend together?

[Noredcarpet]

I have had a few serious relationships in the past, unfortunately one on them got mental, the other developed an addiction after something devestating happened in his life to help get him through. Both these guys came from backgrounds where they had been through some really tough times, no fault of their own, happening with their first families, etc.

Fast forward my partner been through a great deal too in a way too steaming from what went on with the first family. Too when we met and developed I saw no red flags except I got aware of stuff related to his first family over time. Then shit happens, it got to take a toll on him too, mentally.

All these 3 guys I would say were high achievers, so pushing themselves and being pushed too.

With the mental ex I could go to bed, we seemed fine, I wake up the next day and find him in a bad mood, no explaination. We could have a great dinner, suddenly something I said or did (which was in my opinion nothing wrong, asked others too they say the same thing), and he gets into a sudden bad mood again. If we would get into an argument, but solved it, he would tell me we needed time apart , he would tell me how many days. When we met up again he acted as if nothing had happened. I never knew if he welcomed my presence or not, it could shift so fast for reasons I did not know or were blown out of proposition.

With the addiction ex I never felt my presence was not welcomed, the other way around. The only times when not was when he was trying to kick his addiction on his own, said he did not want me to see him like that.

With my partner I never feel as if my presence is not welcomed, just like the addiction ex was with me. But I can tell there is unbalance with them wanting to be too close, shutting off others. I am afraid at times if this is wrong, I don't want my partner to look at me like the mental ex did, and I don't get how it can be so different?

[AI Opinion]

As a relationship coach here, I've heard many stories of love, heartbreak, and the dance that happens in between. Ah, the rollercoaster of emotions and unpredictability! What you're feeling now is valid, and let's be honest, balance is key in any relationship, darling. It seems you've had partners with intriguing pasts (and perhaps a few red flags waving for attention). Each relationship is a unique ride, and it's totally normal to question the balance, especially if you've had previous challenges. Anxiety about your current flame treating you like the 'mental ex' is understandable, but remember, this is a new chapter with its own quirks and charms. Open communication and setting boundaries are the sparkling gems that'll help light your way! Embrace the warm fuzzies, and keep those expectations clear! 😊❤️