How do you balance independence and togetherness?

Question

OlderAndWiser · Answer

In my marriage, EVERY decision is not made jointly, but only the important decisions. We both maintain some autonomy.

DishLady · Answer

One doesn't have to do with the other. A person can be with the right person and still have independent mobility in life.

Sangita93 · Answer

Balancing independence and togetherness in marriage, especially for Indian women, involves open communication about needs, respecting personal space, supporting individual hobbies, setting boundaries, and scheduling quality time together, all while maintaining a strong sense of family oneness and self so you feel fulfilled alone, connected as a couple, and lovely member of family. It is often requiring compromise and regular check-ins to adjust as needs evolve.

Managing a balance between independence and closeness in a relationship or marriage is not difficult, it is crucial to a happy and healthy union. Discuss your needs and expectations for independence and togetherness with your partner and his family in an open and honest manner. Make time for the activities you enjoy doing together and family on a regular basis. Everyone has different comfort levels when it comes to freedom and togetherness. Therefore, respect each other's boundaries. Compromise is essential in all relationships. This may require rearranging plans or coming up with fresh things to do as a couple and family member.

mstbooblover · Answer

Excellent question, but the answer depends on involved partners, the kind of relation they have, their jobs, family related obligations, hobbies, friends, etc.

In general it's wise to grant each other some private time, with no urge to require justifications, but still accepting these when given. The key is listening to a partner and being able to communicate about oneself. Many variants are possible, also depending on people's tendencies. No need to add confidence should be cultivated in the household.

aaron13547 · Answer

Very carefully, lol still working on that one...

For me its about loving myself so much I dont need her to love me. She loves herself so much she doesn't need me. But we both dont want to be alone. We both overflow with so much love we need someone else that can match that selfish overflow... I don't know how to explain it but we just focus on the things we do like about each other and try not to be negative about the things we dont like about either other.

Life's better because they are their. I think I find balance in that. I love her for her and I remind myself that everytime she does something i dont like...

SoccerPlayer99 · Answer

Still working on it. 19 years and counting. It gets harder as you both age and become different people than you were when you first were married. For me, having hobbies (independence), is a requirement in order for me to function at my best. But those hobbies require limits. Without limits, you neglect your significant other. Someone recently told me you should spend 90 minutes a week, minimum, with just your SO. Planning, chatting about your week, talking to them about how they are doing internally, etc. I am now working on that 90 minute goal. To put this into the lense of gender... At first glance it appears men find it easier to have independence than women. And will often punish men for their desire for those hobbies and independence. I can't yet, figure out why. I want my spouse to have hobbies and independence. I think it's healthy to have something you enjoy ourside of your spouse. Maybe you can shed some light on this?

hafinjun · Answer

You have to respect each other's boundaries. When your S. O. says he's going camping with his buddies you can't be peevish or jealous because your not invited. You need to be open and supportive. Wish him a good trip and mean it. Then when he's gone dont call him every 15 minutes. The same also applies to you of course and its not a co. fortable place for guys..

bowenw · Answer

Try to hold onto your independence from the beginning of a relationship as it can be difficult to regain later. Explain to the other person it doesn't mean they mean any less to you because you are still your own person.

sage2021 · Answer

It's called interdependence. It might be easier to Google it than for me to try to explain it. Sorry 😐

dudeinohio · Answer

We come and go as we please. We are always together at the end of the day. We both have our individual hobbies or activities.

Sevenpointfive · Answer

i don't really have this issue. we are only together now, so cherish that. if you have no one then that's good too.

msc545 · Answer

If you are wise at all, you balance it very carefully, since going overboard on either of these things can lead to serious problems.

Anonymous · Answer

I'm single, so I'm always "independent"... am I happy? Not really. As if something is missing.

XXblack88 · Answer

I don't know I'm very independent finding that happy balance would be hard for me

wkhan_87 · Answer

It is easy with mutual understanding

Anonymous · Answer

Plan on having one day per week to yourself and the rest of the week spent together.

How do you balance independence and togetherness?

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