How do you balance independence with being in a relationship?

Question

hahahmm · Accepted Answer

Our ancestors had it all figured out. There's a reason why relationships weren't ever considered serious unless you were married & most people didn't even date. This avoided the weird situation where you're in a relationship yet you're not REALLY committed & you have every right to jump ship at any second for ANY reason at all or just on a whim. So most relationships today are unstable by design, regardless of what you do, the other person can always just bail for any random reason.

But more to your question: you cannot have the same level of freedom in a relationship as outside of one because if you did then you could not be loyal or fully respectful to the other person. This is spelled out in marriage vows so there's no confusion (in theory). The problem is that if you get into a relationship with the wrong person or 'maybe wrong' why should you stay? Back when most people stayed married for life & the standards for how people behaved were higher it was easier to find a suitable partner and you knew the stakes. Maybe people were more careful when they knew the marriage was going to be forever. Now people actually think of marriage as 'my first of many'. It's a joke now.

MrOracle · Accepted Answer

We are both emotionally mature and we understand that we have jobs and responsibilities outside the relationship - including time for ourselves.

We schedule our days together around our work schedules, and we do our best to minimize any outside distractions when we are together, to give each other quality time. The "price" of that quality time is that we leave each other alone when we are apart as much as reasonably possible. We text if something is low priority/doesn't need an immediate response, so that we can get other work done, and if there is an emergency (a REAL emergency) or something needs a rapid response, we CALL each other. We check texts and reply when we have time, but it is often several hours between replies - which is fine.

She's old enough to be able to solve basic issues on her own - or decide to hold off until we can talk - so she's not going to lose her mind if she doesn't get an immediate answer.

Too many people prioritize their phones and not the face-to-face time they spend together, but I intentionally do the opposite, and the results are much better.

TheLovelyWoman · Accepted Answer

When I was still single, I divided my time between myself, my bfs, and my friends. When I hang with my friends by bfs shouldn’t call me.

Nikki1989 · Accepted Answer

We have no choice. We both work long hours that keep us apart, so we have to be independent of each other.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Finding the sweet spot between flying solo and being joined at the hip with your partner is more art than science, isn't it? Love is all about wanting to share your life, not feeling like you have to. Think of it like this: your relationship is a duet, not a solo performance, but you've both got to bring your own melodies to create harmony. It's about having enough trust and confidence in each other that you can do your own thing, but still come back together and sync up perfectly. Encourage each other’s goals and passions, give space when needed, and never stop dating each other. That way, you keep the spark alive, and you both grow – together and individually. It's like having the best of both worlds, really. So keep flirting with freedom and commitment; it's the secret sauce to a spicy, fulfilling relationship!

Finchie40 · Answer

By having trust and respect for each other , by choosing each other and removing selfishness for each other having honest communication with each other , basically what you want your partner not to do to you , needs to be the same boundaries you do for them , if not? Your relationship won’t last and it be pointless to even be in a relationship with them in the first place.

OlderAndWiser · Answer

I think about what is best for me, what is best for my wife, and what is best for my marriage, and i assign equal importance to all three.

imtiaz45 · Answer

Balancing independence in a relationship involves maintaining your personal identity while nurturing the partnership. It’s important to pursue your own interests, hobbies, and goals, ensuring you have time for self-growth and fulfillment. Open communication is key—discuss boundaries, needs, and expectations with your partner to avoid misunderstandings. Trust and mutual respect allow both partners to support each other’s individuality without feeling neglected. Prioritize quality time together while also valuing time apart to recharge. Healthy relationships thrive when both partners feel empowered in their independence yet connected in their shared experiences and emotional support.

Purpleronnie · Answer

I think it’s easier to think in terms of NOT being “dependent” in relationship. Spending time apart with your own interests. I have always retained areas of my life that are completely mine and separate from any relationship and will always put myself and my needs first before any relationship and expect no different in return.

Telekinetic-Potato · Answer

I just stay away from needy people. If you find a woman who truly respects you then she knows what she's signing up for. If she's mature, it shouldn't become a problem too often.

But I don't think anyone's ready for that conversation.

Tarifa · Answer

I think that as the relationship progresses, there is a need to take some time for yourself. That doesn't mean you don't want to be with your partner, it's just healthy to do other things, especially if you have interests that aren't shared.

I have never objected to my wife wanting to go out with her female friends for a late night diner. Nor does she object to me wanting to spend time with a friend. As long as you both trust each other, it's what will keep the relationship going.

Miristheiss · Answer

Independence? That is modern, sexual revolution, feminist bullshit.

Do you ever hear men walking around saying "I'm strong and independent"? If you want to be independent than don't get into serious, long-term relationships or marry. People don't marry and have kids and start family units so they can be independent.

If you are worried about being independent than just sleep around and stay single.

genericname85 · Answer

well you still have your independend self or your independend character. doesn't mean you never "depend" on your partner in any way shape or form. that's actually the entire point of having a partner. to have someone you can depend on.

molonski2 · Answer

Definition of Independence = ?

And how far does it gp? That's more the question I guess , you certainly will give up some freedoms by definition that's just a fact , suppose it all depends on what Indepence one requires.

ChicoFromThe305 · Answer

I guess that depends what you consider independence now doesn't it?

Ladsin2 · Answer

Everyone has to give up independence in a relationship, particularly a significant one like marriage. Women perhaps moreso, but both have to sacrifice. Men have to be willing to sacrifice their resources and lives should the worst come to pass. Women have to sacrifice independence. It's the trade people have made for all of time. It just was in the case that in antiquity that women didn't have that much independence to give up.

lightbulb27 · Answer

I aim to prioritize time with my wife and kids, but I do take time for myself to do what I want, since they don't share some of my interests and have plenty.

It should work without much stress, and be fun, secure, recharging.

YevgenyMikhail · Answer

What does independence have to do with a romantic relationship? He is not your daddy he is your partner. Unless you're talking about the relationship with your dad.

ManInChains · Answer

You can't because a relationship is supposed to be a partnership. If you want independence stay single

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

Independence isn't a synonym for being alone or doing everything by yourself. It just means you have control over your life to the extent that you can survive when aid is scarce.

seth900 · Answer

If you feel that your not happy that your boyfriend is around than not sure should you even than be in relationship. Thats the thing you must feel you want to share every experience with someone not to feel like want to escape them

Hispanic-Cool-Guy · Answer

I'm a firmly believer one doesn't have to lose their independence while being in a relationship or marriage.

Both are adults and should act like it.

You shouldn't have someone hounding you around as if you are a child.

Anonymous · Answer

You have your own friends, job, money, and do your own thing (some of the time).
Then you come home, give your loved one lots of attention and time, wrap them in your arms, and tell them all about your day.

SugarSugarplum · Answer

Independence is the opposite of being in a relationship.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I do it by not trying to oppose laws of physics, because they always win

jahaims · Answer

You can do the same things in a relationship as out of a relationship other than being a slut or attention whore so there isn't really much to balance.

Likes2drive · Answer

We are all individuals even in a relationship so you just have to prioritize and ask what they think about certain decisions involving both of you

Jamie05rhs · Answer

Be aware of how much "me time" you need, and protect your "me time.". Communicate to your partner when your "me time" is so that they can respect that.

Anonymous · Answer

Lol, how to say "I need attention" by putting a unnecessary pic in your questions.

Phoenix98 · Answer

I don’t think there’s really anything to balance out honestly.

Ramithefitnessbear · Answer

Everything comes down to communication between each other. Otherwise everything falls. If you know each other well on the level were you are comfortable with having “your own time” then there’s no issue. Just communicate. Best regards.

the29thhuman · Answer

You be yourself. If they don’t like it, break up. Make sure you don’t have skeletons in the closet of codependency

Unit1 · Answer

You don't really have to. Just don't be a neglectful ass towards your partner

Danny_dan92 · Answer

Do what makes you happy, but that also won’t disappoint your partner

Staximus · Answer

All you have to do is not fuck other people and you should be fine

DextroShade · Answer

You are going to be lonely for a long time, probably the rest of your life.

Mati91 · Answer

Time with friends away from the partner with communication.

LiamJHayden · Answer

No idea, but if you figure it out let me know.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

You don't really. Your gonna always spend more time with your significant other than you do getting some me time. You just make it work

Anonymous · Answer

This question was just an excuse to post a selfie hoping for attention and validation. Sorry, not going to give it to you.

Anonymous · Answer

You dont you are too pretty I would never give you personal space :D

exitseven · Answer

I do a poor job of doing this.

paledreams · Answer

Very difficult I would say in reality :P

Crazzyyworld · Answer

Being a trasshhh

grega239 · Answer

With mental gymnastics

disappoint3d · Answer

I'm starting to think you are a bot.

MasterKS · Answer

Relationship is big burden! I am away from it!

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Sometimes poorly

How do you balance independence with being in a relationship?

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How do you balance independence with being in a relationship?

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