Have you ever had an opposite gender best friend?

Question

So, I've had two of these types of relationships in my 41 years of being on this planet.
The first one (about 20 years ago) ended because we thought that our friendship was going so well that we would try and progress into being in a relationship, which pretty much killed the friendship on the spot, and I swore never again to get into that position again.
Now 41 years old. I found another friend a year ago, that I get on with very very well.
In the beginning there was flirtiness, navigating the lines and differences, but not long after, I pointed out that if this were to happen it would be a mistake. We both agreed that we didn't want this to happen.
From then on, we decided it was more like a "bromance" for whatever we have 😂

We message good morning and good night, every day and update each other throughout it, as if we are in a relationship, but it’s nice to have that person to do that with.

Have you been in any relationships like this? What happened? Did they change/transform? Did things happen to the relationship after getting with someone else? Did you feel any type of jealousy or something that resembles fear of what night happen to your connection?

As long as there are guiding lines, boundaries and clear communication, that's all you can do, right?

Have you ever had an opposite gender best friend?

TrueConfection · Accepted Answer

I did! My best friend started as a coworker and evolved into a great friendship. We spent all of our time together outside of work and had lunch together every day (usually another coworker or two would join). Those were some of my fondest memories in life and I really miss him.

He had developed feelings for me a bit, but he got over those and we stayed friends until he got married. I got married first, but his wife was a very jealous person who made sure he didn’t have any friends left, male or female. I believe the last time I saw him or his family was at his wedding (20 years ago).

My kids have heard me talk about him often and I think they imagine him as a long lost uncle. They would have loved him.

PeachyPie93 · Accepted Answer

Nah I never had a guy best friend because any guy will fuck you if there is attraction there and you are willing. I have had male friends of course but they were mostly childhood friends who I always hung out with but once we became adults and got partners we stopped hanging out. I do have a guy online who is like my best friend rn because we chat almost everyday and we get along and tell each other our daily drama, watch movies and shows "together" plus he always teases me but that isn't actually a platonic relationship since we "help each other out" sometimes lol

Finchie40 · Accepted Answer

Yea I had a few close girl friends’ through the years that I just considered friends’ that didn’t cross any lines , and I had a few that did. My one close girl friend I wish we never hooked up and had sex because it unfortunately it was the start to the end of our friendship , mainly because she wanted more and I didn’t at the time , which I still kick myself in the ass for to this day , because I should of settled with her , but at the time I wasn’t ready for a commitment considering I just got out of one , Her and I agreed we would just be FWB’s not realizing she wanted more than FWB’s and when I lost her, that’s when it hit me that I was a dumbass

exitseven · Accepted Answer

Yes, for a few years a girl who was engaged to my former roommate was really my best friend for a few years. We used to hang out a lot and we could tell each other everything. We went to the movies and concerts together and looking back we really had a lot of fun together. Maybe it was because there was no pressure in the friendship, it was just there. We got a little confused about how we felt about each other but we never got confused at the same time so nothing ever happened. She went to graduate school in DC and I never saw her again.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

Ah, the classic conundrum of opposite-gender friendships! 😄 As a relationship coach, I've seen these scenarios unfold in many heart-fluttering, sometimes awkward, but always intriguing ways. Personally, I've had my fair share of opposite-gender friendships that danced on the fine line of "will they, won't they". It's all about setting those electric boundaries and holding onto open communication like your favorite book 📚. Jealousy can sneak in like an unexpected rom-com twist, but as long as things are clear and respectful, you're golden. It's a perfectly balanced dance, and hey, that's what keeps it spicy! 🌶️ Cheers to your bromance—sounds like a deep connection worth cherishing!

1

HawkPerception · Answer

Once in highschool but it only lasted lasted a term. We practically did everything together and always met up during that period.

But afterwards, no. I had friends that were girls, but they always chilled with their girls more than me. I had 2 good guy friends growing up and to this day, I kind of only talk to one, but it's dying out slowly.

Zack-Bann · Answer

Opposite gender friends are great
Opposite gender best friends are a lie

Unfortunately you’re friendzoning this guy
And he’s playing along saying he wants it too because it’s better than losing you (in his mind)

Even real best friends don’t text good morning and good night every day
The investment is what happens in a relationship
And he’s hoping you come around to seeing him as a viable partner

Chances are you won’t

This story is a dime a dozen and the ending is rarely a happy one.

I know you mean well and genuinely want this to he a friendship but the heart wants what the heart wants

I can’t really blame him for his taste though, just his choices
Although maybe he was cornered into it

MrChinaski · Answer

I don't position friendships on a dais, but if you are included to name winners in the Best Friend category I have had two that deserve a medical of some hue or other.

One was dry and platonic. Someone I trusted implicitly and could always seek wise counsel from. She was keynote speaker at my wedding.

The second was pregnant with sexuality the entire time. If we never entered the territory of emotional lovers, well you could certainly see it from there. At least twice it could easily have drifted into an outright sex-filled union but by what seems sheer chance it never did.

Both were fantastic experiences that enriched me.

Nikki1989 · Answer

90% of my friends are men, and they have always been. Almost everyone I work with is also male. Good female friends are difficult to find.

Alex_Bright · Answer

I've had many female friends. They all disappeared when they got boyfriends, at any age.

Nowadays I only put effort in guy friends. Much more stable and rewarding.

As for your example, the guy still wants you and just plays along. Nobody does that in a friendship. You just want it to be true because it currently feels good.
No critique though, been there done that.

bananathunder · Answer

yeah. I've had a few. Some stayed 100% non-sexual. Some had flirted sexually and did sexual stuff without actually having sex. And others were basically FWBs. All were/are pretty good. As long as you establish rules and what the boundaries are I guess

Account · Answer

I have two. Both very long term friendships over the years.

insatiable_curiosity · Answer

Yeah, it's great getting perspectives from women since I wouldn't simply think about the kinds of things that they think about.

It's interesting hearing women claim that a guy will just want to have sex with them. Nah, we have restraint just as you do. We are just as capable of having meaningful relationships with others.

WhitneySnow · Answer

Yes! It worked out great and we eventually ended up dating.

Anonymous · Answer

My ex fiance and first girlfriend broke my heart whenever she came out as gay in college. To be fair she has been a good friend to me through all that, setting me up with girls, giving me advice on girls, cheering me up by having sex with me or letting me her off to her and her girlfriend.

douride2 · Answer

I have had a guy best friend since back the end of grade school. It has never been anything more then friends. According to him I'm not his type. If he has ever had thoughts of anything more he has kept it to himself.

Twalli · Answer

I don't know if they would be "best" friends, but I have had and still have female friends. I don't ever approach a friendship thinking about the person romantically. This means that I don't find most of my female friends attractive. So, the dating thing isn't something I've really considered with any of my female friends before becoming friends.

Sirenboobzilla · Answer

Yes. My best friend since middle school! He's been there through just about everything!

CupcakeTheDestroyer · Answer

One of my best friends is a guy, we get along great and have for like 13 years

TheLovelyWoman · Answer

I have quite a few ranging from friends to friends with benefits.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

30 years of friendship and counting. It has always been easy, because there was no ambiguity to deal with. She feels too pragmatic for me and I'm too much lost in my thoughts for her taste.

SolitarySolace · Answer

I currently do, yes. She’s actually my only female friend who I hang out with outside of work along with her fiancé and two young daughters. 🙂

Anonymous · Answer

Yes 2 or 3 of them.
but I am a bad friend to them when they start insulting me in front of others😅.

I mostly lash out and that's how I end more of my opposite gender best friend.

I did that to one of my friend and that friendship didn't end but we are just friend now.

fantasticass · Answer

You are living in a fantasy world. Stop messaging each other. Go find a boyfriend. Stop pretending you are 10 years old. You will be single forever.

lilBigPotato · Answer

I have a lot more guy friends than female ones. Just easier to get along. So also the person who I consider my best friend has been male for the majority of the time.

Phoenix98 · Answer

Never had a female best friend but I've had good friends who were women.

Massageman · Answer

Yes. Decades ago, when I was taking massage class and there were still pay phones, some lady needed to borrow a dime to call home. I gave her a quarter and she insisted on paying me back. A nice friendship resulted, and remained to this day.

OneNisa · Answer

You're a very unlucky woman. A relationship never works without effort. I hope a new love finds you.

AMS700CX4u2 · Answer

Many, Some were quasi sexual with lots of flirting and passes. Many were overtly more direct, but none were in the sack.

sawno · Answer

I have and its sustainable. All it requires is a lack of romantic interest.

DonaldDarko · Answer

No, I don't have a best friend. I have a few friends but they live far away.

Deauybyudebyubqed · Answer

Personally no. I just find girls to be easier to get close to since we would probably have more in common. I have had stuff in common with guys but the existent of the friendship are never as deep as my friendships with other girls.

Anonymous · Answer

Yeah. She asked me out. I declined. We're still friends 29 years later.

FenixG45 · Answer

I've ALWAYS preferred female to male friends, but I do have a few male friends. Three female friends transitioned to lovers. Only one is still alive!😵‍💫 Im cursed!

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

Nope, i prefer not to have a female best friend when i'm in a relationship...

Snowman84 · Answer

I did, but we wound up in bed together. It was a mistake, she’s still a friend though.

fish5505_87 · Answer

Yes, even to this day, a woman I went to college with 30 years ago.

Enginn · Answer

I suspect he's gay if he only stay friends with her

Anonymous · Answer

That's all I've ever had Men suck as friends.

DishLady · Answer

Yeah, always.

msc545 · Answer

A friend, yes. A best friend, no.

beenherebefore · Answer

Yes! I still do.

LiamJHayden · Answer

Since my 4th birthday.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

Never had a chick bud.

In_Trance · Answer

Clearly men and women can't be friends

najekim · Answer

Yup. A couple different times in the past.

Anonymous · Answer

Yes, but it was long time ago.

Agape93 · Answer

Yeap

KostasKouvalis · Answer

I HAVE

WonderingManII · Answer

Nope!

SimonK56 · Answer

Yep, lots of them.

wkhan_87 · Answer

Yes ,, two times

Have you ever had an opposite gender best friend?

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