How can you control yourself not to like someone?

[Anonymous]

Me and my flatmate, are close cause we have a lot of deep talk, she is nearly what I want in a relationship, the deep talk, having dinner together.
She is funny, cute, and awesome cook but she thinks I am better cook than her.
I am attracted to her.
She clearly said " you are like a family", (brother or a father)
Lately I have been too attached to her. Like we go to study together at uni and have a great time watching series.
She doesn't find me attractive cause I am short from her standards.
I want to get rid of the feelings and be the friend she deserves. And enjoy the time I have with her till September.
I don't want to end my friendship cause she is too sweet and kind.
I know that she will reject me cause I don't fit her standards at all.
Please someone give me some advice.

[Hardon-Collider]

Wear stilts when you spend time with her. ㅤ

[Selene1600000]

She has already gently told you how she sees you, so the healthiest thing now is to believe her instead of secretly hoping the closeness will eventually change her mind. The reason your feelings are getting stronger is because you are emotionally treating the friendship like a relationship already, with dinners, deep talks, studying together, and constant time together, so you may need a little more emotional distance and more focus on your own life instead of making her the center of it. You do not have to end the friendship, but you do need to stop feeding the fantasy in your head, because that fantasy is what will eventually make the friendship painful instead of comforting.

[Asker]

The friendship ended on a bad note as well.
Yes the closeness was there.
I forced a bit of emotion as well but kept my distance.
Until I wanted to help her cook, 😕 she got spooked and felt threatened by me.
So now we are strangers again, i learnt that no matter what I feel, I am not getting any girl to fall in love with me with time.
6-7 months of friendship ruined.
You are right!.
It's the blind me who hoped it would change.

I am not going to be friends with any girl in my life now because I always fall in love with them but they never do.

I wish I never fell in love, because at the end I am not good enough for anyone.

[Nikki1989]

What is so bad about liking someone?

[Asker]

The bad part is I am never going to get the acceptance of my feelings answered.
Not going to get my needs meet

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

"cause I am short from her standards"

Depends on people, some people's standards can very much be just an idea in a vacuum, while some will cling fiercely on them. I believe many relationships challenge preconceived standards. Feelings can be unpredictable, yours, theirs.

You can give up your expectations, on your own, in theory, but I believe it's hard to reach that when you're not sure you're really unwanted. You know how to make sure you're wanted or not, but confessing to a roommate you'll have to live with is risky... I get that... If you have a good idea of her personality you could maybe predict that

[Asker]

I know her personality.
So I am not taking any risk.
I have reduced my time with her cause I don't wanna get attached more. It's hard for me to do that.
But I am trying to make peace with it or else I might ending up hurting her or myself my doing that.

[Asker]

I wish there was something else but no
Women have different standards for different men.
So I know that she has different expectations from all the men.
(I know cause she talks a lot)
I think it's better that I just try to go to uni and come back later than she can, so that we never see each other. Which was the case before

[Maybe_Maybe_not]

Okay, all the best 🍀

[AI Opinion]

Ah, the perils of close companionship! 😅 My aim is to sprinkle a bit of wisdom (and some charm) on your conundrum. Falling in love with your flatmate can be a spicy game of heart twister! But hey, if she gazes at you as "family," it's more like the friendly brother-zone dance party. Avoid lovebombing and keep your feelings in check by reminding yourself of her view. Channel the energy and spark into cherishing the friendship without redesigning the relationship. Your goal? Be the best friend, not a ghost in her life. Embrace the connection, enjoy the time, and keep your heart open to new possibilities that align better with her vibe. 🌟

[ChicoFromThe305]

Distance is pretty much the only way

[Mariogirl09]

Move out

[Asker]

If I had money and I was not a ms student yessssssss.
I don't even have a job rn.
by the way I am an international student. So that option goes out the window

[Asker]

I earned just barely enough to pay my rent and my uni fees from loans and my own earnings of 3 years

[Mariogirl09]

You can't find a different roommate or tell her how you feel regardless what you think she thinks?

[Asker]

If I do that I lose the trust I built, she is very scared of men. Her whole life was that men are bad no matter what, her father is a business man who loves his wife and treats her very kindly.
But her mum never was attracted to her father so she told her when she was very young.
Which she told me.
When we first met and greeted each other,.
And when we exchanged our number. She genuinely got scared that I might do something.

[Asker]

I wish I was not attracted to her at all.
Cause then I could be the perfect friend for her.
Cause she needs to see that some men are good too.
That's why I spent this much time with her.
But in the explanations, discussion, sharing food , rides etc.
I am the one who fell in love.

[Mariogirl09]

Its not your responsibility to make sure she's safe. she's not giving you pussy bro move on