How do you prevent someone from liking you?

Question

this might sound like a strange question but. I'm the type of girl that hangs out with guys as much as girls. and in my experience every time I've had a close guy friend (4 of them that were really close) they start to like me. its really sweet but I just really want to be friends and it always changes things after. its never the same again once he's told me.

i know I'm not leading them on because I'm careful about that.. I never even flirt with them. becuase they're my friends.

is it something I can't do anything about? as in is it something that happens to all guy that are in close friendships with girls and can't be helped?

ilovelegs · Accepted Answer

I know this is kinda late to answer this but here goes anyway.  It's all in your actions and body language. Some girls feel they have to be "nice" to everyone including any guy that talks with them or wants to hang out with them.  That's where the trouble starts.  You need to not have the same kind of fun with your guy friends as you do your girls.  Watch what you say to these guy friends so that it never implies that you like them more than a friend. Like don't confide anything personal things in them.  Don't be laughing at everything they say or do as if they're the greatest ever.   If you're not interested in any particular guy then as SOON as get a clue he's being a little overly nice to you slow down with him.  That includes eye contact, hanging out with him alone, talking with him alone, being too interested in his affairs. You have to keep aware that guys are guys and they get attracted to a girl that seems to be attracted to them or seems available and they might even be available to them. When one of these guys call or text you don't answer fast and when you do keep it on a completely friend basis.  Guys that find a girl attractive to them will obviously look for an opening to get closer to them and start being nicer and more friendly.  So, yes most guys are like that to a girl they'd consider.  If you wouldn't consider them, then you have to say NO or ignore their advances or sweet talk and NOT feel guilty.  After all, you have a right to live your life guy free if you choose.  Just don't tease them or tempt them or make it look to them that you find them really cool or hot and that you're actually available. Make it look to them that you're not available by everthing you do or say other than as a casual friend.

TheDigitalSaint · Accepted Answer

You seem like a decent girl, one that would make alright girlfriend material. It sounds like your guy pals have caught on to this fact. Biologically and emotionally, you must be attracting them and there's not a lot you can do to prevent that. The best thing you can do is just let them all know that you're not looking to be in a relationship right now with anyone and it is nothing personal WITH THE GUY YOU ARE LETTING DOWN.

No matter what, it will bruise him. Rejection in relationships is amongst the hardest things that a guy can feel in life. He'll appreciate you being honest with him though in the long run. Afterward, always make sure to let him know with a hug that you still love spending time with him and you value his friendship.

Want to do your guy friends some favors? Find them a nice girl or two that you know and let your gal pals know of these great guys. They'll still be sad that you couldn't be their girlfriend, but at the same time they can see that you want them to be happy!

Honesty is key! Tell them straight up. The answer is not the "right" one, but it is better than leaving them wondering if you have feelings for them.

babybluangel · Accepted Answer

Oh, I've got the same problem... I think it really is teh you want what you can't have thing. Guys like the chase.

i know what you mean by the friendship doesn;t feel the same afterwards, tehre's always abit of tension.

i guess, only thing you can do is tell them that you;re not interested and you care for them a lot as a friend and wish to stay just good friends, and if they can't accept it, then it's their lost, you will meet plenty of new friends for each friend you have lost. everyone comes into our lives for a reason, and we may not realise it, but yeh, we learn from each and every person who comes and leaves.

I guess there's not really anything you can do to prevent them from falling for. I guess when you start to get close to someone and be good friends, you start to feel some kind of connection to them.

i would suggest giving them space though, after they have confessed their feelings to you, cause they will need time to get over their feelings with you, before they can go into a friendship with you again

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

lol I wana no the answer to this to, I sware the more you make it like there "just friends" the more persistant they are! I think it has to do with the whole notion of you want what you can't have, they can't have us therefore they want us more! =) haha I've tried everything, setting them up with girls, sayin "oh she's cute for u", asking for advice about guys, and they don't get the point!

ivarei · Accepted Answer

it's happened to me a few times, but I've noticed that if pretend that you don't notice, they'll move on and you can stay friends =]  I love my homeboys <3  they're there for me when girls are all into drama, it's so nice to be able to be with people who always have your back and don't stab it like some girls do.

obligations · Accepted Answer

This is what I did when a guy I wasn't interested in...acted like he was interested...i wasn't sure but I did this jsut in case he did. I started to talk to him less and less.

jojowriter · Answer

this goes for both sexes, if you find some one attractive and start developing feelings for them, they need to know that too cause if not you are doing it alone inside your own little head. then, if you are communicating with them on some regular basis and they actually do not consider you as relationship material, you need to know that too so you can make better choices for your self.  And, if that is the case, either you need to stop seeing them to protect yourself from getting too emotionally connected to someone that will not want you and start to focus your attentions to someone that will.  Or you must disconnect your emotions and desires from them and direct those energies towards someone else, while at the same time staying friends to some extent. My experience with women is that not one of them could actually be a friend without wanting some emotional connection that would go outside the line of just 'friends.' sexual tensions come on strong and fast and guys will always look for that with most any women they find somewhat attractive. And, I think women are similar to that also - thus all of the cat fights and bitches attitudes towards women from women.

boi818 · Answer

Here's the truth.. NO matter how much you feel like you're one of the boys.. the fact is you're not.. and never will be.

Let me take a line from the kid on Kindergarten COP "boys have penises, Girls have a vagina!"

LOL..

well what I'm trying to say is guys always want something more from a female..it's very rare when a guy can have any type of relationship with a girl without having some kind of attraction or sexual tension towards her.. even if they claim to be "Friends"

Trust me I know, I've had a girl be part of the guys and the truth is any of my friends would've done something with her if they got the chance even if she thought she was "one of the boys" and eventually one of my boys hooked up with her.. and that just gave all the other guys the green light.

Umm.. I'd say the best thing for you to get them off of you is ..hook them up with other girls.. act as a wingman/woman. =]

heathrob89 · Answer

I actually believe that it can't be helped. You are obviously very attractive, so most straight guys will develop some kind of romantic connection to you, bottom line. This may come off as blunt, but any kind of close friendship can be taken as "leading on." Guys have egos, when we get rejected, we lose our rationality and feel personality insulted. Even if girls only reject us romantically, we take it as a personal insult, hence the friendship also goes out the window.

If you're really trying to be one of the guys, get a boyfriend, and hang out with his friends as much as possible, this way leading on isn't possible, limitations are clearly set, and egos don't get involved.

EasyEC · Answer

Easy, don't treat them like a sexless boyfriend (you might not know you're doing this). Don't use them for "target practice" or with the primary intent of understanding guys better. Also, refer to them as "friend" or "brother" so that they get the point. Talk to them about things like guys you like or ask them how you can help them find girls they like. When you hang out, don't doll yourself up.

emzy-89 · Answer

just tell them straight up that you just want to keep things as they are and just be friends. its good that you don't want to string them along. tell them as soon as possible, it'll b less awkward for the two of you and you won't lose a perfectly good friendship.

Anonymous · Answer

I am so sorry.
But I am one of those guys.
It's not your fault, it's just how many of us are wired. Sometimes we like someone even without flirting or anything.

It's just a part of comfort which comes from you to them, the kindness you show or support.
Or just being a listener, deep talks.
Or simply exist.
Feelings about love are sometimes men can't control and lie about.
We are bad when it comes to lying about who we like or love, so we just ask head on.
The easiest way to avoid to tell them you are in a relationship or something else along that line.

4u2nv · Answer

haha. That happens to me and both my sister. Tell them early on. Oh you're such a good friend. And emphasize to them somehow tht they are good friends. Tell them who you like, because it discourages them. &Talk about boys in front of them

KingSoc · Answer

Its not you...its that thing they call ...ummmm...human nature, it can't be fixed or reasoned with but there is a way to fix your problem but I would think you would want the guys to still be you're friends...

Marrryyyyy · Answer

be mean to them and always talk about other guys with them

Anonymous · Answer

i would just stop talking to them or make sure that when I don't look good I'm around them to scare them away

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