Should I allow absent mother to contact my kids between her new Boyfriends?

[ricp321]

Should I, single father of 3, allow the mother of my kids to contact my kids when she is between boyfriends? Ok, so their mother doesn't contact my kids while she is dating new men. I do mean no contact what so ever. The only time they hear from her is when she is having problems with current boyfriend, or when she is between BFs. Even then she only contacts them at minimal a few days a week. So should I continue to let her contact the kids. Mind you, I have full custody, I have all decision making rights, yet I know my kids miss her. I don't know what to do...

[ohsheeT]

If she is a good mother yes she needs to be in her child's life. And you need to treat there mother with respect. Remember your children are always listening watching your always trying to teach your children the best people to be and it starts from you

[ricp321]

I understand that's y I don't track to her crazy, but after 9 hrs of her jumping in and it the kids lives, I am tired of watching my kids be disappointed..

[ohsheeT]

Understandable . And I know it's hard to be a single parent

A few things you can't do. Is talk bad about there mother or her new boy friend. You can't fight in front of your kids. Your kids will end up hating you

If there mother tells them she is going to do something and she doesn't follow through it's on her. .. and only her. Don't make it worse by talking crap about her to your kids

[ricp321]

I don't, it's bad enough she isn't there for my kids like she should be, so i choose not to talk down about her at all. If I have to deal with her I try to do it without the kids around cause 90% of the time it gets into an argument. But thank you very much this has been helpful.

[ohsheeT]

Well try to remember she doesn't want to look like the bad guy so she going to try and push every button you have to get you to snap get loud or out of control. The best thing to do is not say a word dont feed in to anything. .. you have to understand it's over with.. you have the kids. She's never going to do what you want her to do. So dont even try. if you can't control yourself she wins your kids loose you dont even have to say anything about her seeing the kids. The less you say the better. That way she is the one who has to do it on her own let her prove how much she misses the kids on her own the less you say to her the better remember what your kids see or hear. You are teaching them if they are girls teaching them how a man is supposed to treat a women when the get in to a relationship. If you have a son the same thing now matter how much anger you have in side let it go your kids are more important

[ricp321]

Wiser words have never been spoken!! Thank you very much my friend. Seriously thank u

[Anonymous]

Co-parent you may hate her for ehat she's done but it's important for your kids that you find a way to co-parent with her and when thry get older they'll realize what she's like

[ricp321]

Thank you.

[YayaArias]

I don’t think you should allow her to. Allowing her to may mess with the kids emotions because they just will never know when they become “important” to her again. For your kids mental health I think she should be kept away from them.

[ricp321]

Thank you...

[Nikki1989]

Could you please clarify the seriousness of this question?

She is their mother!

[ricp321]

She left in May of last year, didn't speak to the kids until Nov, spoke to them fir 2 days and we haven't heard from her until a week ago, and now she hasn't contacted them since. She's been doing this fir years,

[AI Opinion]

Oh, being stuck in this emotional maze isn't easy, and kids missing their mom is the real deal. Here's the thing, love: consistency and stability are key for those precious kiddos. If she's playing hide-and-seek with their feelings, that's a red flag bigger than a bullfighter's cape! 🏳️ Trust your instincts, and always have the kids' best interests at heart. Maybe set some boundaries, and chat with a counselor if needed. It's all about creating a loving environment for those little ones, where they feel safe and cherished. ❤️ You've got this!

[In_Trance]

I don't know why you wouldn't

[ricp321]

Because she goes months with out contacting the kids then pops up like there isn't an issue.

[In_Trance]

With respect I don't think it's your place to say.
That's between the children and her.
Put yourself in your children's shoes. Imagine if one of your parents kept you from contacting the other.

[ricp321]

Im not keeping her from contacting them. I do understand ur point, but I'm the one who has to see the heartbreak and tears when she doesn't contact them. Now should I let them to continue to feel that disappointment?