Should I cut off contact with my parents before dating someone?

[Anonymous]

Both of them were verbally and physically abusive. Also, my dad was convicted of a federal crime and he claimed he was just negligent, but it doesn’t matter because the conviction papers will say it was his fault.

I want to explain to a girl I’m dating, or anyone for that matter, that I’m not spoiled, but I try to rise above my challenges. Plus, it’s better to cut someone out of your life if their role as an in-law would make life difficult for someone you’d want to marry.

My sister was also traumatized in a similar way. She got arrested for theft and struggled with alcohol addiction and drug use. So both of us were screwed.

[DishLady]

Um… I’m pretty sure the two things aren’t mutually exclusive.

[lostinthis]

thats sad. is there a reason why your parents did that? u ok now? and i believe your partner will understand u, if you guys get close. theyll know you aren't like your parents, if you treat ur partner well.

[Asker]

I think they were raised in a similar abusive environment. Some more details: When I was 4, my dad left the house for a week to live with his mom after an argument, and my parents divorced when I was 8 but got back together two years later. They almost never slept in the same room.

They never went to counseling for anger issues. Like one time when my mom was mad at me and my sister for messing up her appointment at the salon, she said “you both come from hell”. It’s hard, but I’m going my best to move past that.

[lostinthis]

i see so thats why theyre like that.. i hope you're ok now. i guess its better tomove on and improve yourself just dont let the negativity get to you. if you need anymore help you can always ask me or anyone. anyways its the best if you can break the toxic generational chain