Why don’t I feel beautiful like I used to?

[Anonymous]

I’m honestly trying so hard, but for some reason, I just can’t convince my brain that my boyfriend actually finds me attractive. I know I’m a beautiful girl; in fact, before we started dating, he used to say things like, 'How did I even get a chance with you?'

Before this relationship—which is my first, by the way—I was incredibly confident. I loved the way I looked, felt like I could pull off anything I wore, and generally felt beautiful in my own skin. But since getting into this relationship, everything changed. I’m in a constant state of self-doubt, even though my boyfriend showers me with compliments and constantly praises my beauty.

There’s one thing, though... my boyfriend has some deep-seated heartbreak from his past. He had a 6-year relationship that started in high school. While going through his phone, I saw old messages to his ex where he said things like, 'I can't take my eyes off your breasts.' I have a smaller chest, and seeing that just triggered this endless loop of comparison. I keep thinking, 'Why would he even like me?'

I’m exhausted from putting myself through this, and I hate that it’s hurting our relationship, but I just can’t seem to snap out of it. I’ve fallen into such a deep hole of insecurity. What should I do? If anyone has gone through something similar, I’d just love to talk.

[aaron13547]

You have to love yourself before you can love anyone else. You just found out why. 🙂🙃 it sounds like you did love yourself but seeing those messages made you think you should be someone else... thats not true. He is your boyfriend, not hers. Don't think about it like you are trusting him to love you more then her.

Think about it like you are trusting yourself to pick a guy that would pick you out of an endless choice of other women... that confidence comes from trust, not looks.

Trust comes from our hearts, not our eyes or even our words.

The ex is an ex for a reason and you are the girlfriend for a reason. Just focus on that and yourself. You'll find the confidence again to love him the right way 🙂

[Asker]

Thank you so much for those words, they truly moved me. My boyfriend is wonderful and I trust him completely I know he’s loyal. The hard part is that I’ve lost my sense of self-worth and confidence lately, which is really painful. I'm just hoping to find my way back to loving myself and feeling confident again.

[aaron13547]

You will get there. Don't take this wrong im telling you to help you see where the problem started... Your love for him changed for the worst when it became selfish. You made his love Something you needed to have more of then the ex did. Don't think of it like that he already loves you more then the ex. The boobs are just one part of you there are a million more things you could compare. What matters the most is you and the boyfriend compare these things to grow together instead of apart. 🙂

He isn't thinking of her boobs when he is playing with yours I promise. Guys see what is right in front of them at any given moment. Lol, dont think to much about it. Just go back to enjoying yourself with him.

One last thought... Big boobs dont look attractive forever. Time changes everything. Grow together not apart 🥰

[aaron13547]

Thank you for the mho 🙏

[jahaims]

You are mature/ emotionally unhealthy so you don't feel the validation you should feel while in a relationship. Seems like you got validation from unhealthy sources and now you can't get that validation because you are in a relationship. If you insecure you get your value from the wrong sources

[AI Opinion]

Here's your fabulous relationship coach, and I've got just the right dose of understanding for you! 💖 Insecurities can sneak in like uninvited party crashers, but don’t let them steal your spotlight. Comparing yourself to your boyfriend’s past is like trying to fit into someone else's shoes—they’ll never truly fit. 😘 Remind yourself why you were confident in the first place and focus on rebuilding that self-love power.

His appreciation of your beauty is authentic and real. Remember, it's your fabulous qualities that drew him to you, not some past encounter. Communication is your best tool—it's not just for Wi-Fi! Let your boyfriend know how you're feeling. Sharing brings closeness. It's time to focus on loving yourself as fiercely as you used to. 😍 You've got this!

[Abbycado]

Why are you going through his phone?

[Asker]

I’m not proud of what I did, but I felt like I had to check if there was anything still there between him and his ex. I’ve been burned in the past, and I’m just terrified of history repeating itself.

[Abbycado]

Considering the trust is already broken, so is the relationship.

[Anonymous]

Has your partner cut of this ex?

[Asker]

Yes, but they have mutual friend groups, and my boyfriend's sister is friends with his ex. Even though it bothers him, he says, 'I respect it.

[Opinion Owner]

How do u look vs his ex?