Is it disrespectful to your partner to compliment other people’s looks?

Question

Some people think complimenting someone else’s looks is harmless… others think it’s disrespectful when you’re in a relationship.

I think it depends on the context. Saying someone looks nice is different from constantly praising someone else’s attractiveness or overdoing it.

Personally, I don’t usually get jealous, but I do think being in a relationship changes things a bit. I probably wouldn’t compliment another guy’s looks while my partner was standing right there because it might make him uncomfortable or give the wrong impression.

What do you think?

Summeroflove · Accepted Answer

Short answer. It depends on the situation.

It comes down to intention obviously if the intent is sexual and/or romantic that’s an issue and could constitute emotional cheating. I think it comes down to insecurity and lack of communication as well as in some situations projection when someone becomes overly defensive over silly things. While it is normal to have insecurity’s healthy couples don’t take it out in toxic ways but instead communicate feelings back and fourth.

I’ve seen comments that say every couple is different and I agree. I hate when people try to force others to conform to what they want instead of finding someone who’s compatible. Because everyone is different just because someone isn’t right for you doesn’t make them bad.

But I think decent people give complements and some people give them out like Halloween candy. If the intent feels off communicate if you do so respectfully and they over react. That’s equally an issue if someone over reacts to giving one.

MrChinaski · Accepted Answer

My take.

You can be in an ideal relationship. That doesn't mean other people don't have good qualities. Complimenting people, intended sincerely, is a nice thing to do because it makes the recipient feel good about themselves. It doesn't mean that your partner values you and your relationship any less... if anything it demonstrates that they know your relationship is too strong for that to be misconstrued.

... Either that or they are being a passive-aggressive asshole who is trying to make you feel weak...

... and it's important to be able to tell the difference.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to help you decode relationship behavior and keep your love life drama-free but still exciting 😏

You nailed it: it’s all about context and frequency. A casual “she looks nice” is fine. Constantly hyping someone’s attractiveness, flirting, or doing it in front of your partner in a way that stings? That’s a red flag.

Respect > ego boost. If you know it might bother your partner and you still do it, that’s where it becomes disrespectful. Keeping compliments light, rare, and non-flirty keeps things safe and drama-free.

DishLady · Answer

It depends on what’s going on. For example, if I’m with a guy (whether it’s a date or a relationship) an I start smiling an flirtatiously complimenting another guy… no bueno. It’s disrespectful to the guy I’m with and shows me to be a certain kind of gal… ALSO no bueno.

However, if I’m with someone and I say, “hey, nice shirt” to someone who is an old friend and the three of us are just chatting, then ok.

There’s an exception that I confess I stepped into, though. When you’re with a guy who gets jealous of ANY positive thing you say about another guy. (SIGH!!!) doesn’t matter if you two are solidly into eo… or if you both know the one you’re complimenting is too old/young to reasonably be “a threat”/“competition” to your guy… or even id the guy you’re complimenting is happily married wit kids and sitting there ONLY BECAUSE you asked him to meet up to connect with your guy for business…. If your guy is the jealous type he’ll see red and just consider all males possible competitor for your attention and appreciation. (Crazy but true.)

Actually, it prompts me to ask a follow up question. Give me a sec. ;)

Finchie40 · Answer

It depends on how they say it , because it can be disrespectful and not so disrespectful by how they say it. But overall it’s still FG disrespectful, if you are out with your partner and they are focused on someone else , other than you , that’s a red flag you shouldn’t ignore , because if they do that in front of you , think about what they do when they aren’t with you. When I am on a date with a girl , she has my full attention , nobody else but her , I don’t care if someone more attractive than her walks by me , I am not going to be rude and disrespectful period.

AviatorTom · Answer

It's generally okay. My wife sometimes points out an attractive woman I might have missed, and I sometimes do the same for her.
Just don't overdo it. Avoid saying things like, "Wow, wouldn't mind doing that one." 😎

sage2021 · Answer

I was on a date with this man and we had to wait outside until the restaurant called his name.

I kinda new he was a player. I sat down on a bench, and he stood up next to me but not really close.

All of these attractive looking women were walking past us to go inside of the restaurant.

I was looking at him because I thought for sure that he was checking them out as they walked by him.

So I point blank asked him why he wasn't checking out the women?🤔 He said "Because I am with you here tonight". I thought that was pretty cool because I didn't want to feel inferior to those other women.

If he was checking them out, I would have asked him to take me home and go back there alone and check them out all he wanted to.

It's very disrespectful to compliment another person of the opposite sex in front of the person who you are with.
And it can be a first date even. Doesn't have to be a meaningful relationship to hurt someone's feelings by opening up your big mouth and then looking at the person that you are with waiting for their reaction to that kind of unnecessary behavior.

If a guy did that in front of me I would say"Hey, go for it but take me home first"!!!

Cyfris · Answer

Really depends on the individuals in question. I personally am a complimentor. If I am dating someone it is most likely because I complimented them. It is something that is consistant in my behaviour. I think the problem lies when it is something counter to someones normal way of acting. Or if the intent is clearly devious in nature. But I throw compliments out like candy at Halloween. I was on a train and a lady accross from me had this gorgeous brown leather jacket on that looked proper with her earrings and everything she had going on and I said something like that jacket looks lovely on you to which she gave me a snobby huff and turned her back to me.. I didn't think much of until the little ol lady in her 60's or older that I gave up my seat to patted me on the arm and said to me, don't mind her she is just a bitch. you said nothing wrong hunny, I wish more men were like you. From than on I have made it a goal that when I see something to compliment I try to do so with both men and women so with me it would disrespectful to expect that part of me to change I would think.

Purpleronnie · Answer

Well in my personal experience it’s not ok if I do it … unless she mentions it first but if she does it !…. It’s fine. 😂😂

It’s fortunate I’m not the jealous type.

Recently my lady and I were out with friends , a couple. The female half of the couple , let’s call her Chloe had a bit of an emotional wobble later in the evening after confessing some truths about her and her partners relationship. I complimented her on being brave enough to tell us and told them both they were amazing people and they can work through it.

On the drive home my lady immediately told me she never appreciated it because I should only be telling her that she is amazing …
I’d understand if I never or infrequently said those kinda things to my lady but I do… 🤷‍♂️

Bricealan · Answer

@7phoenix7 I think it would be inappropriate to compliment another person on their looks while in the company of their partner. Likewise, also Wrong and really stupid for a partner to comment on a picture of another person, in front of your partner/spouse. I was in the company of a married couple, and the husband, his wife and I were looking at some kind of 'semi' porn pictures, and the husband said "wow, and look at them tits'! His wife has VERY nice boobs.  I was embarrassed for her and thought the husband was a MORON for making such a stupid comment.

CriminallyInsane · Answer

My last boyfriend would occasionally ask me if I thought a girl was pretty while we were out and then I'd ask what he thought after I answered, not a big deal to me as long as it wasn't sexual. I started asking him if he thought a guy was good looking too after that just to even things up lol

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

I don't even need to think twice about the question because I don't compliments looks of girls I'm not with, whether or not my girl is in the vicinity. The notion of compliments about looks just doesn't fit my social behaviour... Not even my character lol, I take zero risks in this department.

AydenHazor · Answer

Personally, I'm cool with complimenting others on their looks whether you're in a relationship or not. I did mark it as depending on the situation though. If all you ever compliment is their looks that's problematic to me, whether in a relationship or not as well. I compliment several friends on their looks regularly. All friends who I know struggle with self image, but I also make sure I compliment all of them on their personality, their intelligence, their humor, and who they are more often than I just compliment looks. Whether I'm in a relationship or not, I'm not going to stop loving on my friends platonically and complimenting them on all of the above, including looks

Twodogs0525 · Answer

It never bothered me, because she usually picks guys uglier than me to compliment. If they were clearly better looking than me, which would take an act of God, it would probably bother me a little.

loveslongnails · Answer

If either of you in a relationship can't handle the truth that other attractive people exist in the world, the a) you have a personal problem and b) your relationship is doomed to fail.

Obviously if you or your partner are constantly fawning over other people's looks, that's a problem. If you give out inappropriate compliments, that's a problem too. But a genuine, respectful compliment shouldn't be an issue for anyone, whether it's given or received.

queenofcardio · Answer

Personally, I don't mind general compliments on someone's looks. It would bother me at some point if they took it too far and disregarded me.

RandomGirl42 · Answer

It's ok for everyone to compliment me! Anytime! Anywhere! Always! Compliment me , Dammit! 🤣

BonzoInBitburg · Answer

Not necessarily. You have to build up your partner first. and give her confidence. After you do that, you can give out compliments in a way that doesn't create jealousy and undermine your relationship.

WhitneySnow · Answer

It’s harmless as long as you’re not acting thirsty

Nikki1989 · Answer

You would have to be very insecure to have issues with it. That insecurity is more of a problem than the actual complimenting.

trumpetplayerforlife · Answer

Depends on the relationship you have with your partner some people don't like that

nolabels · Answer

It definitely depends on the situation and one's way of going about doing it.

BrittneyHl · Answer

I think it depends on the situation and how they do it but I don't have a lot of confidence so I'd rather a partner didn't do it often as I'd feel inferior

lilBigPotato · Answer

Generally not an issue. But of course it depends a bit on how and what you compliment... There's always a way to do it in a disrespectful or inappropriate way.

Still-alive · Answer

I think this might depend on how they do it. Just like a ‘hey you look great!’ Is fine but going more specific like ‘hot abs you got there!’ Might push it for me.

whats your thoughts on this @queenofcardio? Lol

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

I agree with you miss phoenix from bouvet island 😁

exitseven · Answer

I imagine my wofe would take a pretty dim view of me commenting on some hot woman.

Massageman · Answer

If you say something like, "Unlike you, she is really PRETTY", you might have problems. An offhand remark shouldn't lead to issues, though.

ChiTown33 · Answer

I would agree with that assessment. Unless you know your partner would be cool with it. It all comes down to respect. Some relationships are stronger than others. Ya know what I mean.

Tarifa · Answer

It's unnecessary. Better to keep those thoughts to yourself.

Phoenix98 · Answer

To me yes and that mainly stems from the fact that when I'm in a relationship I don't really pay attention to other women and rarely if ever say anything regarding them unless I'm specifically asked to.

AngryCarl3 · Answer

It's certainly thoughtless. Your partner probably doesn't want to hear about you lusting for other people.

Staximus · Answer

That depends on the situation. If I was out in public with a girl and she were to comment about how good another guy looks to me or to her friends and I hear it, I'll tell her she can go home with him and leave.

beefcakebradybatson · Answer

No if you don't make it seem as if you want to bed the other person.

Beckybooboo · Answer

I don't do it and I don't like it lol

loveyouoak · Answer

Yea, it’s disrespectful

nekkibarbie · Answer

Not at all. It's a very normal thing I think.

Anonymous · Answer

I guess it depends on the situation.

Agape93 · Answer

Nope

Zionne · Answer

i wouldn't care

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