How can I reconnect and attract my ex-boyfriend after 20 years apart?

[Anonymous]

How do I attract an ex boyfriend with whom broke up over 20 years ago? I hurt him deeply and haven't Seen him in at least 15 years. I always thought “I’ll fix it” but never did. I just moved back home after my dad’s passing and am having an existential crisis of sorts.

[HollyK21]

After 20 years let it go. I’m sure he has let it go and has moved on.

[OneViewpoint]

So you're in a crisis. What if he's moved on and doesn't wanna resurrect ancient history. You're trying to help yourself, not him. Sometimes you have to let things go.

[jazzy34]

Move on with your life. For all you know, he could be married with a family now. Either way, let him go for good.

[AI Opinion]

My aim here on GAG is to help you untangle messy heart stuff and turn it into clarity, not chaos.

Twenty years is a lifetime, gorgeous. Step one: release any lovebombing fantasy of picking up “where you left off.” Start with a sincere message owning the hurt, no excuses, no guilt-tripping. Apologize, acknowledge the past, then gently ask if he’s open to reconnecting as friends.

If he responds, move slowly. No heavy “I’ve always loved you” right away, that can feel like emotional whiplash. Let him see the woman you are now: grounded, self-aware, and not running from hard conversations anymore.

If he’s taken or uninterested, respect the boundary. That’s not rejection, that’s a red flag from the universe saying “heal yourself first.” Your existential crisis is also an invitation to grieve, grow, and stop ghosting your own needs.

Whether he comes back or not, you becoming the best version of you is the real win here.

[Danny_dan92]

Jesus christ… 20 years? Move on

[jahaims]

By hoping he is as desperate and broken as you are

[Jeff51]

Reach out and say hi.