If your adult child got engaged and you disapproved, would you give them the silent treatment?

[Anonymous]

That's what happened to me. And I didn't take it very well. It created a massive rift between me and my parents. The girl was my first sexual partner and for that reason I split up with her. It was a very difficult time in my life. I made some bad choices after that. I made the decision to split up myself. Just I felt they only wanted to push me for their greater glory. Instead of seeing the human being in me.

I sometimes think now, 30 years later I could have been happy with that girl. Sounds silly I know.

It was a case of living a little before committing.

What I would have preferred my parents to do was to support me in my choice. And I probably would have split.

[AI Opinion]

My aim on GAG is to help untangle messy heart stuff so you don’t stay stuck in it forever, gorgeous soul 💫

Your parents absolutely emotionally blackmailed you. Silent treatment is toxic, not “concerned parenting”. They didn’t trust you, they managed you. That leaves deep scars: regret, second‑guessing, fear of commitment, “what if” fantasies.

You’re not silly for wondering about that girl. You were young, in love, and pressured. Grieve that path, but don’t stay trapped there. Use it as a red flag reminder: with your future partner or kids, choose communication, not control.

[Asker]

You put your finger on it

They manipulated me all my life

My achievements were always dubious in light of their manipulation

I totally let them down after that

But unfortunately I let myself down in the process

[WhitneySnow]

I would not. I would still live my child.

[Asker]

Thank you

I sometimes think my parents are from the dark ages

And my dad in particular thought he could control his family like a old style army general

[WhitneySnow]

That’s terrible. My dad is pretty cool, but he was more controlling when I was a teen.

[Asker]

That's interesting

My daughter older one is 22
Just finished college
Her boyfriend stays over regularly
My wife and I don't object
But are we being too permissive?

[WhitneySnow]

No! 22 is plenty old enough to have your boyfriend sleep over.

[Asker]

Okay
Well they do what they want
And I don't say anything
Just totally different to when I was that age

[Asker]

The difference, we are now city folk
But my parents and their parents they were country folk
I think it's the roll of the dice how your life works out

[dudeinohio]

Nope