What actually makes a guy say 'I love you' for the first time?

Question

blueonblack22 · Accepted Answer

When men genuinely say “I love you” they are not just expressing a feeling. They are giving you a pledge of loyalty. And it’s far riskier for us.

It’s not just about the vulnerability. It’s also because we generally have much further to fall if the relationship goes south. A woman can say “I love you” one day and the next day change her mind as her feelings change. A man on the other hand can’t get away with saying “I changed my mind” to same extent a lot of women can. It has to with “being a man of your word”. We feel more shame about hypocrites and breaking our word.

On top of that if we don’t get shoulders to cry on to the same extent women do when they are heartbroken. A heartbroken man many “some”’ sympathy but he can easily look weak and pathetic and he risks losing respect.

And despite women telling men “it okay” to show their emotions. It really isn’t. And a single heartbroken woman is far less of turn off to men when it comes to dating than vice versa. Women feel relief when they say an emotional man. But that is not the same thing as attraction. In fact it’s often the opposite.

Anyway there are a minority of men who will say this crap facetiously just to get in your pants. That was never me. But I know they exist. I just don’t know why women are so hung up on the verbal. You can tell if a man loves you or not by seeing how he acts.

A man is really only safe to say this when:

In response to hearing it first from a woman
Before proposing marriage

Other than that he needs to do it all through his actions without actually saying it. I know I regret saying this to some in the past. Talk is cheap.

ohsheeT · Accepted Answer

It's not really his first time he has said it in many ways just not with words so it might actually understand LOL but he has said it many times under his breath by the things that he does by the look in his eyes when he looks into your eyes by the way he touches you

It means that he has talked to himself And he is willing to take that chance To be heartbroken again maybe But When he says it most of the time most guys mean that you can tell just by looking in their eyes the way they touch you the way that they kiss you the way that they hold you The way that they talk to you

It's because he has talked to himself over and over thinking about every little thing asking himself is she the one do I love her should I tell her what happens if she says no what happens if this and he just can't take it anymore he wants you to know that he loves you by words not by everything else but by words his words it might be blah blah blah blah blah blah blah love you blah blah blah blah blah depends on the guy LOL and have a romantic he is and how he wants to make you feel that's the most important

leannegrayson · Accepted Answer

Sitting around just pining for a boy to validate your fleshly desires and declare his earthly love for you is, like, a massive sin of idolatry and lust! You're completely worshipping a worldly relationship and focusing on romance instead of seeking the pure love of the Lord!

Because you're so absolutely desperate to hear a man open his heart to you, God is totally leave your soul stranded at an old, abandoned lovers' lane out by the lake!

You'll be sitting in your car in the pitch black when this gigantic guy wearing a terrifying mask stitched together from rotting prom dresses is gonna smash right through your passenger window with a heavy, rusty pickaxe! Ope! He's gonna drag you out into the freezing gravel by your hair, and then he's gonna take a filthy, jagged hunting knife and literally just hack your chest wide open!

Then you'll wish you had read the Bible and believe it when God says he loves you, rather than caring about your silly she-devil boyfriend.

Jessica405 · Accepted Answer

When he realises he does not want to be without you. Mind you, some guys will say that as they hope to get in your knickers!

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

My aim on GAG is to decode love, red flags, and all the spicy in‑betweens for you. 😉

A guy usually says “I love you” when three things collide: emotional safety, consistency, and clarity. He feels safe with you, trusts your loyalty, imagines a future, and realizes his feelings aren’t just lust or a honeymoon-phase lovebombing. You become his comfort, not just his crush. That’s when it slips out. 🥰

Finchie40 · Answer

When he is with someone that values and respects him the same way he does for her , when he realizes he is with someone that stands by his side and is there for him no matter what

lightbulb27 · Answer

Scientifically speaking, the synapses in his brain structure fire in a "particular pattern", influenced by hormones and other deeply programmed developmental factors but influenced by the life form object he is engaging with and generally speaking, only her. The result is a verbal vibration commencing forth from vocal chords making a distinctive sound noted above. Most species have this "built in" in order to ensure propagation.

Failure to do this results in females running for their lives unless they are controlled in other manner. Such verbal queues are in a sense, connection engaging which propagate across space, into her deeper synapses, resulting in a comparable response.

It may be the control is established at a lower level such as the electron or quark of the sub atomic particles. Science as not fully explained this but we are proposing $1 trillion... no $100 Trillion research study to further explore this. Inflation and such...

Maybe that's too low level... I'll leave that up to the reader. I often receive answers that are at the wrong level, so there...

Anonymous · Answer

For the first time ever, or the first time with her?😆

Because the first time ever is usually inexperience and stupidity.😆 most good men start off romantic (not saying that ever stops). But guys learn pretty quickly that if a woman knows that, she can and will use that against him.

So after that a man says, "i love you" for the first time in a NEW relationship for two reasons. And the two reasons denote what type a man he is.

The first guy does it STRATEGICALLY. He'll say it strategically when there is something to be gained by it. These type of men typically have experience with women. They know women operate heavily off of feelings and can sense when a woman needs to hear this to employ this strategy with maximum effectiveness

The second guy really means "i love you" when he says it. But because as i alluded to earlier, he's had experience with women as well, and know they can and will weaponize, "i love you" against him. He'll only do it when he feels safe with her. And that there is a significant degree that the sentiment will be returned.

Intelligent_Lady · Answer

I don’t really believe in “I love you” at first sight. A guy might really like someone from the beginning, but real love takes time to build and grow. Guys who say “love you” from the first day are just not serious. It’s not real love that fast.

DeeDeeDeVour · Answer

A guy says “I love you” when the feeling is overwhelming and difficult to control.

A guy says "I love you" when feels that "spark" and thinks that "spark" is also felt by the other.

A guy says "I love you" if he feels it is safe to say it and not be rejected.

sage2021 · Answer

Well, when he said it to me, it was like he was holding on to a secret that he just couldn't hold in any longer and when he finally said it, he felt so much better that I knew.

I didn't say it back right away, even though I wanted to. I waited for a few days, and just as he was walking out the door to go somewhere, I said "HEY! I love you too"❣️

worldscolide · Answer

It depends on if that phrase is being used for manipulation or if it's being used genuinely.

For example I refuse to use it and have it be a lie. Between my wife and I, I only aside it after she asked me if I loved her, and then only after I spent a day really thinking about it.

Maybe_Maybe_not · Answer

liamjhayden's answer. Which means it's a quiz, and it is your role to spot, contextually, the correct answer. It can be a fun game... That is, when you're good at quiz. Not so much fun otherwise lol

Purpleronnie · Answer

Could be anything from wanting to get laid to wanting to marry  It’s used so flippantly these days it also depends on the context and his experience of love and relationships in general

Anonymous · Answer

When he feels obliged to say it.
Or he is in love with you. And he thinks it's a good time to say it.
And we don't know the proper time from your perspective, most of the time it's something we think might make you happy.

I had the worst experiences, when I said it actually ruined the friendship and we aren't friends now. Happened two times so I don't think I personally will say it first ever again. Or maybe ever again.

Nikki1989 · Answer

That really depends on the man. Some men will say it to any woman if they think it will get them action. It is not always genuine.

EveryDayIsPretzelDay · Answer

Depends on whether the guy is being sincere or not. If the guy is sincere, he won't say it until he means it. If he's not being sincere, he'll say it whenever he sees an advantage in saying it.

ElenaSeluna · Answer

When he feels it.. it will be a genuine one also..

exitseven · Answer

It can be because he wants sex or maybe too many adult beverages. Or it might be that he has finally worked up the guts to reveal his true feelings regardless of the consequences.

_Jenny_ · Answer

@browneyesandhair Some men say “I Love You” to get in your panties, but not all men are that way.

WhitneySnow · Answer

A rush of emotion, same as what makes us say it

jshm2 · Answer

When you match perfectly with them and their habits.  It's rare though.

LiamJHayden · Answer

1. It's true. 2. Heat of the moment. 3. Trying to manipulate her.

genericname85 · Answer

it's not "one particular thing". it's the overall interactions and feelings between two people that make people say that.

bowenw · Answer

Usually when he feels it, but it can sometimes slip out during moments of passion.

alina_521 · Answer

When he wants to be with you all the time staying together.

AgentG111 · Answer

Wow could be many things from something simple of food to intimate relations.

Iron_Man · Answer

You are feeling it in your heart she’s special

Twalli · Answer

It's based on his feelings; you can't force him to say it by doing certain things.

MrChinaski · Answer

I only say it when I love someone. 🤷‍♀️

Ariesman81Nshiiit · Answer

It's a secret

AngryCarl3 · Answer

Temporary insanity

yulbsari · Answer

After a rockin' mind blowing blow job!!!

jahaims · Answer

I would guess being in love lol

In_Trance · Answer

The same thing that makes a girl say it

MasterKS · Answer

hidden sex inside that word.

Anonymous · Answer

Being in love of course.

CassandraSpender · Answer

Coitus

oldman26 · Answer

Lust

robocop666 · Answer

a blowjob

What actually makes a guy say 'I love you' for the first time?

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