Why do guys tend to say "I Love You" first in a relationship?

Question

Xoirwinkan · Accepted Answer

Well, a small percentage of those guys are just saying it to get into the girl's pants. Scumbags.

OlderAndWiser · Accepted Answer

'cause women are fraidy cats!

Bluemax · Answer

I'm not really sure that's true. It seems in the relationships I've been in, it was about 50/50. It was a point of playful contention with my wife and me as to who said it first, each jokingly insisting the other said it first.

She said, and admits to saying it first, "You know I'm falling for you!"

Now, *I* think that totally counts!!! ;) However, I'll own up to the fact that I said the actual words, "I love you" first.

That being said, assuming you're correct (and again, I'm not sure you are), perhaps it's because of a need to take the reins? To be a leader in the relationship? Maybe it's even something to do with risk taking and a competitive nature?

Xoxocutekitty · Answer

I think because most girls instinctually wait for a guy to say it first.

Since being in love is often a glorified requisite for sex and base for wanting commitment... most women find themselves in a catch 22 where proclaiming their love, is just a little less sexy, and a little more, so hey man are you gonna lock me down or what?

Social scripts make it a lot more 'natural' for a guy to profess his love and then 'willingly enter and lead' true commitment rather than an inversed social trap.

But I think women should say I love you first. If he's not on the same page, you shot your shot and you can move on.

MasseurDeMojo · Answer

I hate to say this; but most guys are a bit scared, that if they do not claim their love for you, another will, and they will not have a chance.

When a man really does love yo, he will not say it, but rather show it; and when the time is right, he will let you know verbally just how much he loves you, not once; but every time the mood hits him. So, prepare for a lot of "I Love You," with flowers, notes, trips, presents, and a lot more. Nothing complicated will be used; just simple things to let you know of his love.

Remember, when men meet a woman they like, they do not want to loose them!!! They see "I Love You" as a way to make sure they do not loose you.

Floppy2112 · Answer

Believe it or not, men feel. We feel passionately and when we think we have found what we want, we want to solidify it. A guy who is really into you won't waste much time. A guy you have been dating for years and everything emotional seems like a struggle is probably because you are a life support system for the vagina to him.

MyNameJames · Answer

Because we're expected too. We get all the hard jobs in that department right up until you get pregnant. We're supposed to ask you out and take all the risk that comes with, when to say I love you and we're supposed to propose too. It's why incel culture is so prevelent now a days, some guys can't take that stress and most women just don't get it and often times won't step in and recognize that they may have to start things with some guys.

Unfortunately until it becomes a mutual expectation that whoever realizes what they want first makes their move first men and women won't understand each other's side of the coin

BillHe1 · Answer

Are you just dating, or are you in an actual full relationship. If it's a relationship then you should know each other better than just dating, and you should be more open and be able to say what you are actually feeling.

Now if you are not ready for someone to say "I Love You" after being in a relationship for a while; then you are not ready for that relationship.

The_Maphio · Answer

As you can see from many entries on this very board, girls tend to enter some kind of histeria or mental shut-down when it's time to say the words. Insecurities, crypted signals to make him do the first step, anxiousness...
So the point is not in "why do they?" As much as "thank god they do, or no couple would ever form".

livin_hi_808 · Answer

In short, sex...

When we run out of options or ideas to get into your pants through conventional methods we have to resort to EXTREME measures. Terrible actually that girls would actually force us guys to have to do that especially when that's all it takes to get it smh. Then you can't get away from them cuz they think that you really do love them but you're somehow, someway confused and need annoyed to be convinced lol

glowingsunsets06 · Answer

Some girls may feel as though they may say it too early and scare the guy away
Some guys says say it first hoping the girl will spread her legs...
Some guys actually mean it and just want to let the girl know

Whelp that's just how I see it
🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️🤷‍♀️

Pterodon · Answer

Truthfully it’s a way some ensure she’ll keep fucking him

mintbloo · Answer

because the girl doesn't want to put herself in that vulnerable position, and don't want to scare the guy away. just like how guys propose first. just the way it is.

OddBeMe · Answer

Umm sex. My wife gets me to promise to stupid things during sex…

CallmeTheKnight · Answer

It's honest and let's be realistic here, if you're in a serious relationship and you can't admit that you love someone, you have a problem with communication or you're not really serious about your relationship

Sam_The_Savage · Answer

Nope I say I want to fuck you.  Saying I love u to girl is like kissing her feet.  Lol

BarryLiverstone · Answer

Based on feedback I think it’s because many girls wait for the guy to proclaim it, even if they feel it first.

BCA6010 · Answer

Guys usually set the pace (or at least attempt to) in relationships.

GunnzzNRoses · Answer

I never have. Don't quite know what you're on about

Finchie40 · Answer

Cuz they need reassurance that she still loves him and not banging some other dude lol

Pogi-Paddy-2 · Answer

I totally disagree with this because in my experience girls generally say "I love you" first in a relationship.

Hakkerskaldyri · Answer

Boys have a poor scope of kindness and flirting due to the lack of verbal reassurance, so their threshold between like and love is much lower than girls

virusbkk · Answer

In a lot of cases, there is an ulterior motive to get sex.

However in most "adult" relationships, sex happens way before any formal declaration of love.

Men are more willing to lay it all on the line, and express their love, well knowing that it may not be reciprocated immediately.

worldscolide · Answer

I think its because we are expected to, or at least we are expected to make most of the moves in a relationship.. It really should not be like that

RolandCuthbert · Answer

If they are trying to bed you, it makes sense.

WhiteWolf69 · Answer

I do because not only is it something I feel, i want to show that I can be emotionally open and vulnerable with that woman. I haven't said it in a very long time to anyone by my family

TheSpaceGnome · Answer

I haven't yet, I've said it back and meant it, then regreted it later after getting cheated on.

jmr2191 · Answer

When guys fall, they fall hard. In addition, guys see those words differently. They're more of an expression of deep affection, rather than a promise.

TheFlak38 · Answer

because we live in a time in which men have never been more thirsty and desperate for pussy.

Twalli · Answer

Men don't need love for sex. Most women claim to. They're more likely to get physically intimate if the know their SO loves them.

JamieLoves · Answer

Lots of guys are hard up and don’t know what I do. They don’t know how evil and worthless most of you are.

genericname85 · Answer

i guess cause girls worry more about "just being liked for sex" than men do xD

Caunsos · Answer

We want to get laid and there is a expectation form men to make the first move.

jasco · Answer

Because most women don't, well the ones I have been in a relationship with haven't anyway

EssenceOfLight · Answer

'I love you' costs nothing and can be very useful, it's sometimes pragmatism but often just kidding.

bamesjond0069 · Answer

I never say it first. I just wait until they do and usually by then I also feel it so I say it back.

TheBigGuy9 · Answer

I don’t know. They don’t want you going anywhere. Some do it for sex. They want you waiting around at home for them. Looking at your phone.. waiting...

princeofromance · Answer

I know I don't. I personally do not believe in those three words.

Twinrova · Answer

Because they are BETAS. Everyone knows real alpha males like myself don't experience emotions.

navalarc · Answer

Because he will prepare other question about relationships future 😂

coring · Answer

Yeah this thread is gonna go ape.

itzzzzniya · Answer

* Grabs popcorn *  Yeah?

fonduegirl · Answer

Because they're desperate to be not alone or rub off their stick.

Paulychicago10 · Answer

I'll never be the first to say that

Eric027 · Answer

Cause it's a way to let the girl know you want her And probably it's also a way to make each other feel good

A_Nihilist · Answer

I have experienced it only once, where a woman said it first.  I think that men do it more frequently than women is because it's always expected for the man to initiate.

knock_out · Answer

I've always said it first unless i broke things off 1st

Manuel2 · Answer

Because women say I like like you, but if it goes to Judge Judy, they can say with honesty that they never said I love you

Shy_Steve · Answer

Because we usually fall in love the first time we see you and get to know you, I'm not sure about you Girls.

Grond21 · Answer

Because they are the leaders

jerdanro · Answer

I think it's expected that men chase and women are chased

Better_off_here · Answer

because men want something from the woman after all.

MasterOfReality · Answer

Quickest way to that ass...

Andres77 · Answer

Not in my experience.

krin_m · Answer

I don't know. I say it when I truly mean it!

exitseven · Answer

I think that it is expected.

Belgie · Answer

Women are not brave enough.

TonyMetal___86 · Answer

So that they can get IN YOUR PANTS 🤣

JediSisko · Answer

Guys are helpless romantics.

Iron_Man · Answer

I want you to say to me

anylolone · Answer

Because women are less romantic.

msc545 · Answer

I don't think women usually say it first.

Why do guys tend to say "I Love You" first in a relationship?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

Why do guys tend to say "I Love You" first in a relationship?

Most Helpful Opinions

Most Helpful Opinions

What Girls & Guys Said

We're glad to see you liked this post.