Can you date someone long-term if you’re emotionally connected and only 30-40% physically attracted to them?

Question

NathanDavis · Accepted Answer

I don't "date long-term", well.. I haven't

and I don't "half-assed" relationships either, pardon my French... lmao

so far, I've only had 100000000% fully committed-exclusive relationships

"30% attraction" sounds funny to me, lol, because... what's that? or how's that

" I like your face... one arm, and one leg, the rest hmmm... not so much"

so, how does that work? lol

ericJackson · Accepted Answer

You can, but it’s tough over the long haul. Emotional connection builds the foundation, but physical attraction keeps the romantic spark alive. If that 30–40% doesn't naturally grow as you fall for their personality, it often ends up feeling more like a great friendship than a romantic partnership.

Anonymous · Accepted Answer

some people can date those they have 0% physical attraction to. it really depends on the person. but most people need at least 50% level of physical attraction in order for it to work. Not that the person needs to be a model but the person need to fit into your physical type.

WhitneySnow · Accepted Answer

I guess, I mean attraction can grow with time, but if it stays at that level you won’t be happy. Might be better off to stay friends.

Love Doctor Brad · Accepted Answer

I’m here on GAG to decode all the messy, beautiful parts of love and attraction for you 😏

Yes, you can date long-term with 30–40% physical attraction if the emotional connection is strong, but it’s risky. Early on, it might feel fine, especially if they treat you amazingly. Over time, lack of chemistry can turn into resentment, low desire, wandering eyes, or feeling “trapped.”

Emotional connection is the foundation, but romantic relationships need real physical spark too. If you’re already questioning it, that’s a yellow flag, maybe even a soft red one.

byourit · Answer

Yes, I think you can — but it depends on what that 30–40% actually means to you.

Physical attraction is important in a long-term relationship, but it isn't the only form of attraction. Emotional connection, trust, affection, shared values, communication, and the way two people feel around each other can be just as important.

The bigger question is whether the physical attraction is stable and comfortable for you, or whether you are constantly wishing it were stronger. If you genuinely enjoy physical closeness with that person and the emotional connection is strong, a relationship can absolutely work.

But if you already feel that you are forcing yourself to be attracted to them, strong emotional compatibility may not be enough in the long run.

I don't think compatibility can be reduced to one percentage. A relationship is usually the result of several different dimensions working together — and they don't all have to be equally strong.

Keithscatch · Answer

In my view no. If they are overweight and they can loose weight and get in shape then sure. But over time typically they will only get less attractive. If you met young and she was a knockout to you and you were in love and you got married and aged together then sure, the physical attraction stuff will diminish as you age, and what holds you together is your emotional and hopefully spiritual bond in Christ. But if you are starting out and she is not all that attractive to you, I would say leave her in the friend zone and find a woman who ignites you and where you feel that magnetic desire when you are near her. There is no substitute for that.

Taranis_Thunor · Answer

Yes, if you were a woman from a culture forced into this marriage you'd have to make do with what you got. But you'll always be wishing you got better in life.

For women probably more so because of how fickle they are when it comes to appearances, and somehow they is despite having a lower sex drive then men.

Anonymous · Answer

30%-40%, what does that even mean? Do you have to be head over heels in love with someone?

Feelings are not logical. We may know what we find physically attractive about someone. But when feelings become engaged the rulebook goes out the window.

I'd twist that question and ask the reverse. "Can you date someone long term if you're physically attracted to them, but only 30-40% emotionally attracted to them. It seems to me that'd be much more difficult.

Amy10223 · Answer

You can date anyone you want. Whether you are dating them because you like their looks, or like their money, power, personality, is up to you.

ASKNETTEERM99 · Answer

if u feel that way after say less than a decade then no. attraction may fade as their attractiveness does but if sexual attraction is forced, then that relationship is going to be over in a year or be dragged on by someones/both ppls lack of will power to leave.

Anonymous · Answer

well attraction is important. but part of that is the emotional connection. If someone isn't your type physically, but is perfect every other way, it might be just because of your pre-conceived preferences on appearance. It's okay to date someone who isn't a model. 😁 (I volunteer as tribute)

bowenw · Answer

Yes. An emotional connection is what is most important in a long term relationship as it will remain long after physical attractiveness fades with age.

Sugar100 · Answer

No because main thing a partner will want do if you are married is have sex everyday so u need be excited attracted to him or else u will be miserable

Still-alive · Answer

I would say yes because to me if im emotionally connected it means im really into them romantically. Heck there's been times where my emotional attraction to them or even just their personality adds to their physical attractiveness.

Nikki1989 · Answer

Not everyone is obsessed with looks. Some people seek something deeper.

Smashingdoozy · Answer

I don't measure attractiveness in percentages? That's fucking weird, I either am or am not attracted to them?

Joshydavid25 · Answer

I believe I could since I've attempted before.. The attraction can grow over time, and I can find things I really like about her.. So long as she is devoted to me as I would be to her..

Kvass · Answer

Nope. 30% attraction means you're dating a slightly upgraded goblin. I prefer a guy who's at least above average.

slatyb · Answer

As we get to know someone, their appearance becomes less and less important and we just want to be with them.

astlavista · Answer

Yes, it’s possible if the emotional connection is strong and there’s still enough physical attraction for intimacy. But if attraction feels consistently too low, it can become a long-term issue.

DragonDan444 · Answer

I think it takes more then just physical attraction to build a relationship

Maria1986z · Answer

No, they tend to be only temporary. At least until “someone better comes along,” I’d rather be single than if it was me.

MrChinaski · Answer

I wouldn't recommend it. 30-40% is pretty low. If things work out you're going to be looking at that for the rest of your life.

_Jenny_ · Answer

Sure, you can always let him buy you dinner at a restaurant

Pretendingtobesweet · Answer

ideally yes but in reality people want sex and money. so if he is rich yes.

YourExLover69 · Answer

Yes it's possible even for marriage with her if we have good understanding.

msc545 · Answer

Depends on how intellectually interesting they are.

Bklynbadboy12 · Answer

See I'm different if im emotionally connected then I'll be attracted to that person physically

Anonymous · Answer

How do they look? Vs what’s your ideal type

ThisSiteSux · Answer

Women get old and ugly quick. Past 30 and you better have something more than physical 27 really.

Anonymous · Answer

Women do all the time, especially if the ugly fucker has money and or assets. They can even marry him. Trump and Bazos are good examples.

Anonymous · Answer

yes, even if i am only 10 percent physically attracted emotional connection is the best aphrodisiac

queenofcardio · Answer

Yes, I think so

aceleon · Answer

%30-%40? what does that even mean?

Kelly6 · Answer

@bobalife Yes I can.

Darthskywalker6969 · Answer

I'm sure it's possible

Anonymous · Answer

No that wouldn't work out at all.

wkhan_87 · Answer

I have married someone like that

i_am_back · Answer

Nope physical attraction important to me

LiamJHayden · Answer

Easily.

dudeinohio · Answer

Sure

Can you date someone long-term if you’re emotionally connected and only 30-40% physically attracted to them?

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