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Not only is it shallow but why would you I mean unless you're desperate you don't have to go out with somebody but if you're not feeling the person why I don't put yourself through that doesn't make no sense to me I wouldn't man think about that I'm not attracted to you why would I want to be out with you you know what I mean we could be friends and hey how you doing it like that but go out on a date and I come on man you know shallow I'm going to stop you know make yourself feel guilty she's not attracted to someone you're not attracted to him you don't have to feel guilty about it just all you know you're not my you're not my kind of of girl or guy you know s*** don't have to be like that but just they say you want to go out you just say I can't this weekend or nah just move on you don't have to beat yourself up over it hell and if they can't understand that well I'm sorry and I'm not trying to be mean or cold but I mean water seeks is on level you know so don't beat yourself up over it okay life is too short for that and I'm sure the unattractive person realize that but like they say they grow on you if you let them so you got time on your hands you want somebody to grow on you that you're not attracted to have at it that should ease your guilt
This is a tough one. I think most men will have a harder time with this then women. I wasn’t very physically attracted to my last girlfriend. She actually had potential. She did have an attractive face and nice skin. But she needed major dental work and also to exercise more. She was “skinny fat” and had a belly. Of course I never said word about that but I did notice. I am the type the exercises every day hell or high water. While I don’t expect my girlfriend to be like me I do expect her to care.
She also had other major psychology issues that push to the brink to breaking up with her.
But the bottom line is this. Don’t expect someone out of your league. Be realistic about how your physical looks stack up in comparison to theirs. Also if you try to push yourself to date someone despite not being physically attracted to them you are actually being cruel by getting their hopes up.
It isn’t shallow and you have no obligation to date someone you aren't attracted to. Someone's appearance is the first thing that we notice about someone and all relationships have a physical component, unless you are asexual and are in a platonic relationship. However, some people have extremely high standards.. For instance, I knew a guy that while he was in his 50s, like 55, he was interested only in girls 18-23 and called every woman over 23 ugly and old, while he was overweight/obese.. The same person also said that it took him years off a dating service to find someone even halfway decent looking..
In my opinion, that's extremely shallow and delusional
Dating someone just for their looks can end badly. For example, Ted Bundy and Jack the Ripper weren't bad-looking individuals. Looks do fade one day, but qualities like kindness, humor, intelligence and a good personality are eternal
Honestly, it's not shallow. Physical attraction is necessary in a relationship in my opinion.
Personally, I do want my partner to want me and be attracted to me for both my personality and for how I look.
It is kind of what the difference is between a good friend and a romantic partner.
Opinion
59Opinion
I talked a friend through her divorce. A guy from her church asked her out a few months later. She was not attracted to him and asked me, "do I want passion or a best friend"? She wanted to know if I thought she should go out with him.
I told her "best friend", no question. Passion is awesome, don't get me wrong, but it's fleeting. I said absolutely - that's what dating is for. To find out if you LIKE somebody -- the person, not what they look like.
She's been married to him now for several years and they love each other dearly. You can't ask for more than that.
I guess it is kinda shallow but you can't force yourself to date someone you're not attracted to. Most people (or really everyone) is shallow to an extent, including me. I have physical turn offs myself. It's okay to be shallow. Try not to let people make you feel bad about it. If they're trying to do that then remember that they're no better. Some people really want to be politically correct about everything or they're just very upset if your preferences exclude them.
No because not being physically attracted enhances the change of cheating on the other person the moment a person you're attracted to comes along.
It's hard for the other person to understand but at the hand of the day it's better for the both of you if a relationship consists of two people being physically attracted to another.
If you are only dating due to physical I wouldn't call it shallow. I'd just wonder what you could be setting yourself up for. Might wind up dating someone that looks great but by any other standard is a massive POS. People can look great, but still be a massive pos. You don't want to date someone you have to wear a nose plug around.
It does not. I feel the same way you do. I want a lady for her mind/personality too. But I like what I like physically. And I too fear that I would be seen as shallow. But I think that is because the people we talk to about seeming shallow are seeing only the "Shallow" side of the conversation. We just talk about their body and what we want, but they don't hear us talk about all the qualities of their personality that we want.
Why you care so much about being called shallow?
https://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/MenAreStrongWomenArePretty
Technically speaking yes it is 100% shallow but realistically speaking no not at all people have preferences whether it's tall, slender, heavyset, pudgy, muscular, slim, young, old, Caucasian, African-American descent, Asian or whatever... At the end of the day it's all about personal preferences.
It’s not shallow at all. If you don’t feel physically attracted to someone at all during the beginning of the relationship it could be more difficult to bond with that person or you might grow to resent the lack of attraction. There might be aspects of physical attraction that we don’t completely understand that might be associated with compatibility for reproduction.
Absolutely not. There has to be at least a little bit of physical attraction. You are not going to stay with someone if you don't find them a little attractive visually/physically. And yes, everyone has different tastes that they find attractive. That 10% of wanting to be with someone who appeals to your visual/physical tastes, does not make you shallow.
Yes it is, but what's wrong with that? It's true for almost all people. You can thoroughly enjoy someone's mind and that person can possibly be the greatest of friends, but dating has an obvious physical component so of course looks count for something
No, why would you even think that? I think you have overdosed on SJW woke Kool aid. Quitting trying to be woke, it's umm... retarded. The physical things humans tend to be instinctively attracted to are related to finding a mate with good DNA to share your genetic code with. These largely are related to facial symmetry and other physical traits that are outward indicators of good health and intelligence.
No. That's the base of dating. First thing you see in a person is his look, and if you're not attracted to it, then you're not.
It's not 10%, it's 50% of it. The look first, then what is behind. Everyone is the same, except blind people I guess.
You can't control who you're attracted to, and you don't have to force yourself either.
Not really, I am the same as you.
I prefer open minded, kind, not racist, funny girl, bubbly, honest and loyal one with interesting personality 75%...
25% goes for physical looks too. Cute face longer hairs, some height. I hope someday I will find her :)
If you're not attracted to him don't lead him on, and let them know the truth! It's been said you can fix a ugly man up on the outside, but you can never fix up a handsome wicked man up in the inside!
From a moral standpoint, saying that your partner needs to have physical attributes that you find attractive would be shallow. At the same time it's nature doing it's thing, so it's expected. a
Some may see it as shallow, but physical attraction happens for a reason. I don't think I have ever been attracted to someone's "mind" since anyone can have a similar mindset regardless of gender, age, or blood relation.
If you don't want sex with them, you're probably not attracted to them. Without enjoyable sex, it's not a relationship just a friendship.
It doesn't make you shallow, I've had a girlfriend at age 28 but I was obese weighed over 372 lbs well since then I managed to lose 100 lbs, so no one should call you shallow
Yes… but who cares? Do what you want and understand the consequences of overlooking a good man because of your perception of good looking.
I don't think it is because intimate relationships are at least partially physical/sexual. If you aren't attracted to the other person than that part of the relationship is going to be missing. That's not good for either of you.
that's perfectly normal honestly, that's pretty much everyone
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