Can you date someone you’re not physically attracted to?

[tiny2013]

Yes

No

Depends

[freakyzeaky]

Depends. I believe some women are drop dead gorgeous and of course most men are going to be very attracted. However, most women are attractive for multiple reasons and I believe that how a woman acts, her manner, her "way", the way she moves ("Something" - The Beatles), her attitude... these things can bring out her physical beauty. A woman who is traditionally beautiful but with a piss poor attitude, resting "b*tch-face", and low intelligence is going to seem less physically attractive to me than a woman who is average, who has great body language, a sexy laugh, flirty mannerisms, bright eyes, etc. This is why I feel oftentimes pictures don't do a woman (or a man) justice; the little things they do can make them so attractive and you will never know that unless you spend some time with them. Just like his laugh might make you get the tingles (the good kind) or his voice makes you melt, or the way his eyes crinkle up the edges when he smiles... those same kind of things, like the way your hips sway when you are feeling extra confident, or the way you get bubbly when you are in a good mood... these types of things can make an average person's beauty go beyond just physical attributes.

All that said, if I met a woman who was perfect for me every way; same libido, sex positive, dark/goofy humor, awesome personality, similar interests... I may end up finding her far more attractive than when she first caught my eye, even physically.

Now a woman who is physically unattractive to me, mostly those who don't care to put themselves together (poor hygiene), obese, not shapely in some way (hips, butt, legs, etc.), bad teeth, it is going to be difficult for me to want to get into a LTR relationship with them unless it was a "warm" situation and that woman's personality really won me over. Even then, she would need to make up for it in the bedroom (enthusiasm, attitude, assertiveness is far more arousing than physical beauty alone).

[kc1974]

It depends... I've had it happen several times that someone I initially considered to be unattractive gradually became attractive to me. I've actually had the experience of going from finding a specific woman particularly unattractive to a complete reversal of finding her very attractive - physically, I mean. I can't exactly explain why it happens, but it does.

A lack of initial physical attraction is not a dealbreaker for me, as long as there's something there besides that. However, for the long term, if I don't eventually come to find her attractive, it's probably not going to work.

[EmaJones]

Nope, not a chance. I tried it once it didn't work out. Afterall, from my point of view he doesn't have to be a good-looking guy or handsome for me to like him but no matter how he looks like, if there's no physical attraction, things just won't work out. If I don't have a desire to kiss him or touch him and if I feel nothing when he does that, well it's pretty obvious he's just a friend nothing more. Also, if there is a physical attraction but no mental bond (connection w/e) that won't turn out into something serious because for a relationship to develop everything has to be there, you have to connect on every level otherwise it will lead to nowhere but failure. (:

[suki248]

There have been people I'm not physically attracted to (or haven't even seen), but I developed a crush after getting to know them and liked their personality. Because I liked their personality, their looks didn't even register with any significance.

So, while there are people I find physically attractive, if I like someone as a person, their looks don't matter. Of course, I'm more likely to be interested in someone attractive.

[lyannamormont]

No, cuz sexual attraction is as important as personality and compatibility, and i wouldn't waste time on someone to get to know and see if his personality is nice etc. (cuz it takes time) when i know i am not attracted to. I did it before and it doesn't last more than 2 months even if the person is the nicest person u can ever meet.

[estoydorado1]

Nope. Because personality factors into how physically attracted I am to a person. I've been really turned off by some "attractive" people's attitudes and had some really strong chemistry with people I wasn't that attracted to before talking with them.

[Solanaceae]

Physical looks are the first thing that people notice. After that comes personality and others. I would say that he'd have to be okay in my eyes first, and then when I get to know him, he'd grow as a person to me and make him more desirable.

[Apope16]

I was not physically very attracted to my ex girlfriend. But I was attracted to her talent and personality. I wanted sex. So when we had sex i was attracted to the sex. Still not her physically. We we fuck buddies in secret. Soon i started to not care about her physically as much. So we went public. After we went "official " i was hooked. Physically and everything. If we had not had a fling i doubt id grow beyond friends.

[Logorithim]

I've never done it, but it does happen. There is more to a relationship than physical attratcion, though.

[Alan180188]

I'm, for a year and a half so far !
I tried many times to breakup but the girl asked to give it a chance, I tried to cheat on her many times and I'm talking with other girls behind her back ! I'm anxious always since I feel ashamed of my self deep inside, the girl is amazing but she's totally not my type, I fell for her after a rough breakup so she kinda brought me back to life and made me stronger than ever, yet after a while I woke up to the fact that I'm not ready for a commitment and wanna have fun more in my life...

[itwasmelaniasfault]

I've been there. Let her go, so she can move on and find someone who likes her completely.

[Alan180188]

@itwasmelaniasfault any idea how can I do it in less damage for her? :(

[itwasmelaniasfault]

It's, not easy breaking up. I kind of took the cowards way out. I found two jobs and went to school and told him I just don't have time to date anymore, even though I think you're amazing. Haha it was true. I was too busy and he was amazing

. I just knew that the fact that I kept on finding myself thinking about cheating after 3 month that I'd end up breaking his heart and getting a bad reputation if I went on trying to cheat while dating him.

[aficionado]

Yes, I can. To me, attraction is not always immediate. I can get attracted to a woman over time as I get to know her better. It has happened a few times as well.

Ironically, those I have been attracted to from the start, haven't been that compatible with me.

Generally speaking, I am not really hung up on a woman's looks. As long as she isn't overweight, I would be fine dating her. I am past the age where looks matter a lot.

[Nyx_85]

I've dated a few guys I wasn't attracted to. Though thing is, once they do something annoying it is magnified like 10 fold.

[UnknownXYZ]

www.court-records.net/.../miles-crossed(c).gif

Interesting...

www.court-records.net/.../miles-point(c).gif

Would you say that how angry or annoyed gets at their SO is an indication of how attracted to their SO that person is?

Because I've seen a lot on the internet about women themselves confessing the same things on numerous woman forums...

[Nyx_85]

@UnknownXYZ Come again?

[Nyx_85]

@UnknownXYZ Oh I meant the annoying thing they did was magnified 10 fold. Like I have far less tolerance for them. Maybe a tad more tolerance if they are generally a very easy person to get along with. But if their personality starts showing flaws they have less to attract me to them.

[Nyx_85]

And maybe 10 fold was an exaggeration. But definitely more annoyed than I would be if they were better looking. Or good in bed.

[bad_luck]

As shallow as it sounds I could never do it. It's weird because most guys I'm physically attracted to are not even consider "handsome" "beautiful" I'm physically attracted to a certain type of guy, it's weird.

[animus1988]

What type? Can u givr an exampld

[Jsn22]

Many times I have found myself very much attracted to a girl so much more after getting to know her. But if the same girl was just in a swimsuit magazine looking as she does and I knew nothing about her, I would likely not be nearly as turned on by her.

[Dolynne]

If I had to choose between an attractive person who's mean and an unattractive person who's kind, I would of course go for the latter. If both are kind however, it would depend on our bond, like how close we are, what we've been doing together and what we feel in those moments.

[Direction]

I would say you have to be at least initially attracted... cause stuff can happen, a freak accident etc and you would still love them probably.. but if you let yourself go, your partner might want you to get back in shape otherwise might leave.

[JubJub_Hi]

I can grow to find someone attractive physical if personality one I like. :)

[blondfrog]

No such thing exists everyone will date someone they find at least somewhat physically attractive. Now its easily arguable what others find attractive and everyone has their own preferences and desires. The only people who date someone they don't find physically attractive are gold diggers or manipulators.

[fauchelevent]

I don't think so. They dont need to be the most attractive person ever but if I can't find something about them to be attracted to, I don't think I'd wanna be with them.

[MiAmora]

I had experience with this. So he at first was sweet and nice but later getting to know him, he just started making excuses, he said he loved sport more than me, we would meet rarely, he just wanted sex from me.
It's not worth it.

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

No, physical attraction is what differentiates friend material from boyfriend material.

[animus1988]

Would u say im boyfriend material

[MaiNameIsSunshine]

@animus1988 lookswise, yeah

[Agent]

@animus1988 You have a nice jawline. When did it get like that?

[ATuairiscean]

I would say depends - You can fall for another person for non physical reasons but quite often develop a physical attraction to them over time - If say after a couple of months I still felt nothing, I might wonder.

[tattoofangirl101]

A blind girl or boy can't be physically attractive so yes it's possible. Even for none blind people! I'm one of these people!! I care about personality more than looks!

[BrittBratt2416]

why date someone you don't even like? That's just wasting that person's time when they could be with someone who actually does want to be with them.

[TripleAce]

Well sure but what's the point of that though...
Physical Attraction is more than 50% of why people date each other... everyone is nice and sweet on a basic level... physical looks is what's really different

[Anonymous]

Nope. Been there, done that. Appearance isn't everything but it still matters. Kissing and sex is awkward in that case.

I felt guilty because I'd keep seeing them because I either wasn't having luck with women I was actually interested in or they were nice people and didn't wanna be rude.

This is why I hate when people catfish. If you meet them and they end up not being attractive and looking nothing like their pictures, it is awkward to continue the date.

[Opinion Owner]

On the flip side of that, I couldn't date someone who was cute but boring to talk to or just had a bad personality with a lot of red flags. I wouldn't see it going beyond a hookup.

[Opinion Owner]

Bottom line is you gotta have balance. No such thing as a perfect person but they gotta be somewhat attractive and have a good personality with at least some things in common. Can't completely lack one or the other.

[RolandCuthbert]

Of course. I dated a microbiologist. I was not attracted to her physically. But once we started talking, I couldn't help it.

She was simply the most brilliant person I had ever met.