Can you date someone you’re not physically attracted to?

  • Yes
    Vote A
  • No
    Vote B
  • Depends
    Vote C
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2952

Most Helpful Guy

  • Depends. I believe some women are drop dead gorgeous and of course most men are going to be very attracted. However, most women are attractive for multiple reasons and I believe that how a woman acts, her manner, her "way", the way she moves ("Something" - The Beatles), her attitude... these things can bring out her physical beauty. A woman who is traditionally beautiful but with a piss poor attitude, resting "b*tch-face", and low intelligence is going to seem less physically attractive to me than a woman who is average, who has great body language, a sexy laugh, flirty mannerisms, bright eyes, etc. This is why I feel oftentimes pictures don't do a woman (or a man) justice; the little things they do can make them so attractive and you will never know that unless you spend some time with them. Just like his laugh might make you get the tingles (the good kind) or his voice makes you melt, or the way his eyes crinkle up the edges when he smiles... those same kind of things, like the way your hips sway when you are feeling extra confident, or the way you get bubbly when you are in a good mood... these types of things can make an average person's beauty go beyond just physical attributes.

    All that said, if I met a woman who was perfect for me every way; same libido, sex positive, dark/goofy humor, awesome personality, similar interests... I may end up finding her far more attractive than when she first caught my eye, even physically.

    Now a woman who is physically unattractive to me, mostly those who don't care to put themselves together (poor hygiene), obese, not shapely in some way (hips, butt, legs, etc.), bad teeth, it is going to be difficult for me to want to get into a LTR relationship with them unless it was a "warm" situation and that woman's personality really won me over. Even then, she would need to make up for it in the bedroom (enthusiasm, attitude, assertiveness is far more arousing than physical beauty alone).

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Most Helpful Girl

  • No, cuz sexual attraction is as important as personality and compatibility, and i wouldn't waste time on someone to get to know and see if his personality is nice etc. (cuz it takes time) when i know i am not attracted to. I did it before and it doesn't last more than 2 months even if the person is the nicest person u can ever meet.

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Have an opinion?

What Guys Said 51

  • Anyone saying yes here is lying straight up lol

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  • Yes, I can. To me, attraction is not always immediate. I can get attracted to a woman over time as I get to know her better. It has happened a few times as well.

    Ironically, those I have been attracted to from the start, haven't been that compatible with me.

    Generally speaking, I am not really hung up on a woman's looks. As long as she isn't overweight, I would be fine dating her. I am past the age where looks matter a lot.

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  • It depends... I've had it happen several times that someone I initially considered to be unattractive gradually became attractive to me. I've actually had the experience of going from finding a specific woman particularly unattractive to a complete reversal of finding her very attractive - physically, I mean. I can't exactly explain why it happens, but it does.

    A lack of initial physical attraction is not a dealbreaker for me, as long as there's something there besides that. However, for the long term, if I don't eventually come to find her attractive, it's probably not going to work.

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  • Many times I have found myself very much attracted to a girl so much more after getting to know her. But if the same girl was just in a swimsuit magazine looking as she does and I knew nothing about her, I would likely not be nearly as turned on by her.

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  • I'm, for a year and a half so far !
    I tried many times to breakup but the girl asked to give it a chance, I tried to cheat on her many times and I'm talking with other girls behind her back ! I'm anxious always since I feel ashamed of my self deep inside, the girl is amazing but she's totally not my type, I fell for her after a rough breakup so she kinda brought me back to life and made me stronger than ever, yet after a while I woke up to the fact that I'm not ready for a commitment and wanna have fun more in my life...

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    • I've been there. Let her go, so she can move on and find someone who likes her completely.

    • @itwasmelaniasfault any idea how can I do it in less damage for her? :(

    • It's, not easy breaking up. I kind of took the cowards way out. I found two jobs and went to school and told him I just don't have time to date anymore, even though I think you're amazing. Haha it was true. I was too busy and he was amazing

      . I just knew that the fact that I kept on finding myself thinking about cheating after 3 month that I'd end up breaking his heart and getting a bad reputation if I went on trying to cheat while dating him.

  • I was not physically very attracted to my ex girlfriend. But I was attracted to her talent and personality. I wanted sex. So when we had sex i was attracted to the sex. Still not her physically. We we fuck buddies in secret. Soon i started to not care about her physically as much. So we went public. After we went "official " i was hooked. Physically and everything. If we had not had a fling i doubt id grow beyond friends.

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  • I'm not that picky, but no, I can't date people I don't at least see as somewhat attractive. Gross obesity, for example, is a show-stopper.

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  • I would say you have to be at least initially attracted... cause stuff can happen, a freak accident etc and you would still love them probably.. but if you let yourself go, your partner might want you to get back in shape otherwise might leave.

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  • No such thing exists everyone will date someone they find at least somewhat physically attractive. Now its easily arguable what others find attractive and everyone has their own preferences and desires. The only people who date someone they don't find physically attractive are gold diggers or manipulators.

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  • I would say depends - You can fall for another person for non physical reasons but quite often develop a physical attraction to them over time - If say after a couple of months I still felt nothing, I might wonder.

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  • Well sure but what's the point of that though...
    Physical Attraction is more than 50% of why people date each other... everyone is nice and sweet on a basic level... physical looks is what's really different

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  • I can go on a date but I really do not think im capable of dating someone im not attracted to.

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  • Of course. I dated a microbiologist. I was not attracted to her physically. But once we started talking, I couldn't help it.

    She was simply the most brilliant person I had ever met.

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  • No, I can date someone that I'm nominally attracted to, but if I find the unattractive I couldn't

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  • Hell no. That'd be a waste of both of our times.

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  • Well, you can, but you prob won't be happy about it

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  • Tried it once and just didn't work (even though I liked her personality). Physical attraction is a requirement for me to be with someone.

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    • She must have been beautiful

    • @Daynada yeah, I tried it to. I ended up breaking up with him. It was mainly because I couldn't stop myself from looking at other men as potential. I wouldn't want to end up cheating, which I knew I would if I found someone I liked inside and out. It wasn't fair to him.

  • Isn't that pointless.

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  • I think inxan settle for less in the looks department if she has a really good personality. But can't settle the other way around. But I think idnhave to be at least somewhat attracted to them.

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  • Lol what would be the point? At best you guys would just be "friends" because you wouldn't be having sex with each other

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  • No. Physical attraction is one of the only things that seperates a friendship from a relationship

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  • Absolutely not. I’m a male which means i’m Visual, so I can only date women I find attractive.

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  • Nope, can't have one without the other.

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  • It would be really hard for me because I'm very visual, I like my women fit.

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  • nah bruh, nah!

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  • Someone of the gender I'm attracted to, yeah. I'm not picky if they're likable as a person. Romance is mainly emotional.
    If "not physically attracted to" them meant they were a guy, then not really.

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    • If they were obese, though, I'd probably not. That would probably result in nearly complete absence of physical attraction, which would be like dating a guy.

  • I've never done it, but it does happen. There is more to a relationship than physical attratcion, though.

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  • I have, but it doesn't last long.

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  • I could but id be miserable. Even if she's ugly but good at sex, as soon as the sex is over id be miserable

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  • Depends.

    If you already know them well, then no.

    But if you are still getting to know them, then they might surprise you.

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  • More from Guys
    21

What Girls Said 28

  • I've dated a few guys I wasn't attracted to. Though thing is, once they do something annoying it is magnified like 10 fold.

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    • www.court-records.net/.../miles-crossed(c).gif

      Interesting...

      www.court-records.net/.../miles-point(c).gif

      Would you say that how angry or annoyed gets at their SO is an indication of how attracted to their SO that person is?

      Because I've seen a lot on the internet about women themselves confessing the same things on numerous woman forums...

    • Show All
    • @UnknownXYZ Oh I meant the annoying thing they did was magnified 10 fold. Like I have far less tolerance for them. Maybe a tad more tolerance if they are generally a very easy person to get along with. But if their personality starts showing flaws they have less to attract me to them.

    • And maybe 10 fold was an exaggeration. But definitely more annoyed than I would be if they were better looking. Or good in bed.

  • As shallow as it sounds I could never do it. It's weird because most guys I'm physically attracted to are not even consider "handsome" "beautiful" I'm physically attracted to a certain type of guy, it's weird.

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  • I can grow to find someone attractive physical if personality one I like. :)

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  • I don't think so. They dont need to be the most attractive person ever but if I can't find something about them to be attracted to, I don't think I'd wanna be with them.

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  • There have been people I'm not physically attracted to (or haven't even seen), but I developed a crush after getting to know them and liked their personality. Because I liked their personality, their looks didn't even register with any significance.

    So, while there are people I find physically attractive, if I like someone as a person, their looks don't matter. Of course, I'm more likely to be interested in someone attractive.

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  • Nope. Because personality factors into how physically attracted I am to a person. I've been really turned off by some "attractive" people's attitudes and had some really strong chemistry with people I wasn't that attracted to before talking with them.

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  • why date someone you don't even like? That's just wasting that person's time when they could be with someone who actually does want to be with them.

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  • No, physical attraction is what differentiates friend material from boyfriend material.

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  • Nope, not a chance. I tried it once it didn't work out. Afterall, from my point of view he doesn't have to be a good-looking guy or handsome for me to like him but no matter how he looks like, if there's no physical attraction, things just won't work out. If I don't have a desire to kiss him or touch him and if I feel nothing when he does that, well it's pretty obvious he's just a friend nothing more. Also, if there is a physical attraction but no mental bond (connection w/e) that won't turn out into something serious because for a relationship to develop everything has to be there, you have to connect on every level otherwise it will lead to nowhere but failure. (:

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  • I'm going with yes simply because I did. My ex was legit physically unattractive yet we had some type of spark and I enjoyed his company for a while till his true colors come out.

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  • Nope.. I can't and won't

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  • If I had to choose between an attractive person who's mean and an unattractive person who's kind, I would of course go for the latter. If both are kind however, it would depend on our bond, like how close we are, what we've been doing together and what we feel in those moments.

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  • Physical looks are the first thing that people notice. After that comes personality and others. I would say that he'd have to be okay in my eyes first, and then when I get to know him, he'd grow as a person to me and make him more desirable.

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  • I had experience with this. So he at first was sweet and nice but later getting to know him, he just started making excuses, he said he loved sport more than me, we would meet rarely, he just wanted sex from me.
    It's not worth it.

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  • You wouldn't be honest to yourself.

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  • A blind girl or boy can't be physically attractive so yes it's possible. Even for none blind people! I'm one of these people!! I care about personality more than looks!

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  • i cannot

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  • I can't

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  • As long as they aren't too old or an asshole

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  • The key word for me saying yes here was "date" dating doesn't always mean an intimate relationship. Especially when you just start dating.

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  • yes as long as he loves God, is super kind, and isn't obese.

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  • Honestly, I don't think so.

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  • nope...

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  • Never.

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  • No l can't

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  • physically attracted to or sexually attracted to?

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  • No in my personal opinion it just doesn't work for anything longer than a couple of months. Tried it out of curiosity FROM wondering if I were being too fussy, it didn't work. If there's no chemistry there to begin with it's just not happening.

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  • If you are attracted to them in other ways you can see past the looks, then yes. If not, then that will be the first thing that stops you.

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